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I got another one..
11. If you are going to call me for help, LISTEN to what I am saying. I am trying to help you upon your own request.
i have been doing dialup tech support for 4 years now and i understand entirely.. the not listening thing was the one that always pissed me off...
You can't forget these
If you call complaining about how slow your computer is running. Try shuting down the letter to grandma, the minesweeper game, the MP3 blairing in the background, and the email your trying to send first.
Also
Just because you have a slot big enough for a CD to fit in doesn't mean you have a CD-ROM. Older computers came with a 5.25 floppy.
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-Glitch
Customers:
1. Don't tell me you can get it cheaper at Best Buy or another warehouse store, I will tell you to go for it.
2. Don't come in and tell me that you got it cheaper at Best Buy or the other warehouse store, because after you pay the bill for the repairs and the inconvenience you will wish you were not so cheap.
3. I will not illegally load burned software with a product key written on a scrap of paper, so don't try.
4. Don't tell me that the "other" guy did, I will not change my mind and do it for you and I will report the "other" guy.
5. Do not tell me how smart your kid is with computers, if he/she were so smart I would not be fixing what they wrecked.
6. Do not tell me how to do my job and I will not tell you how to do yours.
7. I am not an orphanage or old computer pound. Do not leave your old equipment on my doorstep.
8. The bill will not change no matter how many times you ask.
9. Don't come in for parts and think that you will install them yourself with me helping on the phone.
10. If you see me on the street or out at night, do not come up and start asking computer questions. My business hours are Xa.m. to Xp.m.
11. If you can't pay the bill, don't ask for the service. My time is money and I don't have enough of either.
12. I do trade labor for labor. (Oil change for computer diagnostic) Don't expect it every time I see you.
13. Don't come to me for a shoulder to cry on or a friend to talk to. I am very busy trying to fix your problem and cannot get it done any sooner if you are right there.
14. I will carry your equipment in from your car if you ask, don't sit out in the parking lot and honk your horn.
Techs:
1. Don't laugh out loud. Wait until they are gone then laugh. Just remember that we all started somewhere and we probably asked a dumb question or did something dumb.
2. If you can trade labor for labor...go for it. I get all kinds of stuff for free or real cheap for a few minutes of labor or advice.
3. Carry business cards with your office hours on them. It helps get rid of the "leeches" that will and do bother you when you are out on a date or with friends, trying to avoid work.
4. Don't let someone bully you into doing something you do not want to do, or give them deals. They always know someone that will expect the same.
5. If you ever meet Driver Guy buy him a cold one.
BB Members:
1. Don't take everything so serious, we are all in the same boat.
2. Don't flame someone for having a good time, not everyone gets to sit at work and surf the Internet. Sometimes we techs need to vent.
3. If you don't like what you are reading quit going back to the same thread...move on!
4. Don't keep changing your name...we CAN figure out who you are.
5. Nobody knows everything and I have never read anybody say that they did...quit the accusations.
6. Don't put someone down because you don't like his or her ideas or methods. Your answer is not always the correct one.
7. Have fun.
Ok I said my peace...Flame away!
I am wearing my flame retardant underwear!
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Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! Story at ten!
Oh, and rule #16 or #17 (Who's counting):
DON'T bring in your system and then proclaim that you didn't get your OEM #, original software, or documentation.
I just hope you guys or girls never have my Mum as a customer. She calls me to ask me what happened to her e-mail in hotmail when she saved it (she pressed the refresh button). Yesterday, I saw her trying to turn on the TV with the calculator's on button. I can't charge my Mum though, if I could, I would be a millionaire.
I work (well, RUN) at a local computer shop.
Down here I buy, sell, repair and whatever your computer.
Here's some of my peeves:
1) Just because your computer is 10 years old, doesn't mean it's an antique. You wouldn't believe how many people try to sell me an old 8088 computer that they claim is worth at least a hundred dollars because it's older than me.
2) I need your power cords. I collect them. Then when I forget what cord is yours, tell me it's the grey one with a funny connector on the end. "Oh, THAT ONE..."
3) When you come in, tell me your computers life history. While your at it, tell me YOUR life history. Heck, I'm not only a computer tech, I'm also your therapist.
4) Leave all your illegally copied software in the CDROM drive. I won't notice that you don't have a CD Writer...
5) When your harddrive crashes, BLAME ME FOR ALL YOUR DATA LOSS! I used telekinetics to force your heads onto the platter. I knew you'd be back...
6) Heaven forbid you remember where the driver discs for your modems and network cards are.
7) Just because your favorite screensaver you used on that ancient 286 doesn't work on your new Athlon, go ahead and assume that your 286 was faster and had more functionality.
8) Mention that you are going to school to become a technician. That way, I'll know that when you say "I think my UPC is having an RIQ conflict with my soundcard," I'll assume you know more about the problem than I, and then I'll proceed to not fix it, since you already know more about how to fix it than I. Then bring it back so I do nothing again. "Man, I thought you fixed it. Howcome DOOM doesn't have sound under Windows 2000?"
9) "Can you please install this game for my kids?" Sounds simple. Yeah. This game requires at least a P2 233 with 32MB ram, a 3D accelerator card and 1.2GB Hard drive space. When I tell you that your 6 year old Packard Bell won't run it, say "BULL****!" That way, I'll know that you looked on the box BEFORE buying the software.
10) Call me on the telephone and tell me your modem isn't connecting to AOL. I am also an AOL technician.
11) Assume since you can get a computer at Best Buy for $800 with a $800 instant MSN rebate that I'll build you the same thing for less. Then when I tell you It'll cost you around $1600 for that P3 800MHz computer, get pissed, call me a crook and make sure to slam the door on the way out. Enjoy that $21 a month for 24 months you'll have to pay. > https://forums.windrivers.com/
12) To all the other local computer shops: Please come waltzing in my store and call my 1GHz Athlon system a piece of crap. It's junk. That's why I'm selling it. "What? You filed for Bankruptcy?"
13) Ask me what's wrong with your computer, then when I ask what the problem is, bring in a piece of paper with a list of all the missing .DLL files, as well as a printout of your 3-year-old scandisk log file. Remember. I'm a computer tech. "I dunnow none of 'dat 'Puter stuff."
14) When I tell you I'm gonna wipe and reload your system, and you give me the okay, make sure to call me 30Min. after you get home and ask where all your documents went to. "Oh, those? I took them home and read them."
15) Just because I hooked you up to your ISP doesn't mean I service your internet problems. "What?!? Whaddya mean? I have to plug my modem into the phone jack?"
16) Get pissy when I told you it'd be tomorrow morning before I got it finished, and you showed-up at 5:00PM the same day you gave it to me. "Just checkin'."
17) "Hey, my cup holder broke. How do I fix it?"
18) "I bought a new monitor with a prettier background on the box, but it's the same one as on the old monitor"
19) "Hey, how do I get the business cards out of my card reader?" "What? A floppy? OH! You mean those hard disks! I wondered where those went to."
20) "My CPU's blown! It'll show the cursor, but this foot pedal they gave me with the computer doesn't seem to make it do anything."
techs and myarema...well said =) For the people complaining about what these techies say...this is something we say internally. We don't say this stuff to cust's. It's like going out for a beer after work with your fellow techies and bitchin about your days of work.
This post definately made me laugh =) Thx
herb
*.When i finished fixing up the computer, Do blame me for the phones/electricity/water not runing...
*.CDROMs don't fit into 3.5"FDD
*.It works Better if you plug it in, it works Far Better if you turn it off...
*.Do not Expect me to reckon EVERY Aspect of computer apps/hardware. I am a system person, not an Oracle
*.Try to be more specific - When Yahoo Tray icon makes Sh*t of your computer, don't state that "The internet does'nt work"
*. Try installing cables the right way.
*. No, I will not come to your home and fix your phone line.
*. Yes, Formatting/Partitioning HDD says loss of your data, i am not responisble to back it up.
Well Guys,
Im not a Technician im one of those lower lifes (the neighbours sisters Hampsters third cousin, who knows computers) but i know what you mean, i have numerous friends, and quite often people i dont even know who ring up asking me if i can solve their probs. More often than not they cant distinguish between a PC and a Toaster, havent got a fri**ing clue what they are doing or have done, if you ask them for details of what has gone wrong you get half illiterate answers. I wish i was a Technician at least i would be getting paid for dealing with the crap i have to put up with, I.E. My computers running really slow, it takes ages to boot up, only to find that said person hasn´t defragged his Harddrive in the last 142 days, or my personal favourite the person who called me asking me why windows 98 ran so slowly, only to find out he had installed it on a 486 with 16MB of ram, so please dont be so hard on us people who try to help on the side at the end of the day 1) Its the idiots with more money than sense, who screwed their PC up in the first place who are at fault (i mean if ive got a few grand to spend on the latest hardware i should have a few hundred over to visit a computer course) 2) At the end of the day you are the lucky ones who are getting paid doing IMHO the best job in the world.
Hi PEOPLE,
wELL ARE YOU NOT A LOT OF DUMB f***s.
who would want to play a computer when there are still abacus's around.
I got a pc and it is realy useful for keeping my mail flat. As for memory, it remembers F**k all. I asked it my name and it could not remember
bye luvvies
Those were very accurate and great...keep up the good posts...
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EagleEye69
"The Eye is watching..."
I LOVE it when a customer insists on watching...I explain in great detail, while working...they try to follow it, but say nothing to save face--I LOVE the look on their faces; and the way they say "Yes, you are soooo right, what school taught you this? You learned it all on-the-job? WOW."
[mental post-it to myself]Quote:
Unwritten rules from that highly over worked, but highly under paid technical support staff of a computer support department near you...
Hummm, Let's try work as much as I want and get paid extremely well....
[/mental post-it to myself]
I have little pity for you. You complain about something you f**ing choose to do.
Go out and find something you like to do, and do it as well as you possibly can and make YOUR world a better place.
Tech support is the lowest rung on the ladder. You have the potential to learn and work with some cool stuff/things/jobbers. You're also gonna get pooped on, people call you because THEY have problems and need HELP. If you don't want to accept this fact, fine, quit else sh*t *p. Use your superior, voluminous technical knowledge to get a better job.
End angry diatribe.
My hand to God this is true.
Today a lady called my departement. She insisted that her Word2k needed to be reloaded because she was getting errors when trying to modify a document.
When I got there, I thouroghly asked her what the problem was and all she could say was that those darned blue screens kept coming up over and over.
So my next step was to ask her what she was trying to accomplish. Well it turns out she was trying to merge two documents together in word at the same time. No biggie, but for the life of me I could not figure out how she was casing GPF's.
I rebooted her comp and opened the first document and then asked her "What do you need from the second one?" She said she needed only two paragraphs from the second document. LOLOLOLOL.
I showed her how to "Cut and Paste" and she was BLOWN AWAY.
Incredible, some ppl have the dumbest things trip them up.
Anyway, I know it's not as funny as most of the other stuff but I'd thought I'd contribute.
Ragz
REAL rules for a good, healthy life:
1. A croissant may taste better than a caraway biscuit, but it isn't any smarter.
2. NEVER goose a bull... no matter how much fun it looks.
3. A goat with three legs is a rare sight, get pictures.
4. Fish dont like Jello.
5. The average cow defacates more than the average duck.
6. A bathtub full of otters is damn fine entertainment for the money.
7. Never marry an ugly woman, takes the life right out of you.
8. You can lead a horse to water, but if you can make float on his back then you've got something.
9. The primary difference between men and women is that women are searching for the one man who can satisfy all their wants and needs. Men are looking for all the women who can satisfy their ONE want and need.
10. Never chase after women or buses, you can't catch them unless they want you to.
11. The day you have notions about getting married, find yourself an ugly woman you hate and just buy her a house. Same result only quicker, and then you can get on with you life.
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Who the hell is General Protection and why is he messing with my comuter?