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My worst is when executives call down and ask if we are behind a firewall or a proxy server. I say "Don't even tell me you want me to help you install Napster/AIM/ICQ, etc., etc." Then my boss told me to help them anyways. We don't even use a firewall. I love wasting 5 minutes just to help someone click next.
"I need Microsoft 2000"
"Which product?"
"Microsoft 2000!"
"There are several with that designation, pro, server, office, exchange, SQL, visio, outlook, word, excel, frontpage, powerpoint, and variations of most of those as well"
"I don't know, can you give me part numbers for all?"
"thud"
ME: what can I do for ya?
USER: I'm having problems with my computer.
ME: Okay. What specifically
USER: Well I'm trying to reformat my drive with a clean install and everytime I try to run windows setup it says something about invalid file system.
ME: well, ya need to partition the drive and format it with the appropriate file system first.
USER: I'm A+ certified and I've NEVER heard that before!!!
ME: .........<sigh>
I think my favorite problem was when I received a call informing me that their cup holder was broken. Though cup holders aren't my strong point, I was curious, and checked it out. Come to find out some schmuck was using their cd-rom tray as a cup holder, and they snapped it <img src="confused.gif" border="0">
[quote]Originally posted by Renee:
<strong>My favorite when I was running a Novell network was when the user wouldn't check the username in the login box and call to tell me their password wasn't working. If I had been at their machine doing something, it would be left with "admin" as the username, and they would just type in their own password and then call me to say it wasn't working. I got to the point where I would actually do a fake login attempt with their username when I was finished, just so it would be left in the login box so they wouldn't be calling me the next morning. [sigh]</strong><hr></blockquote>
Hey Renee and Kingtbone. I noticed that you posted a while ago but I hope this helps you or somebody else.
I used to have the same problem with users and the Novell Client. I found that the Client allows a "hard" profile set. Go to: control panel, network, services, Novell client, location profiles, default, properties, uncheck "save profile after successful login" and set the username then go to the "NDS" tab to set the context and server. The specified user name will always come up regardless of who logged-in last.
I’ve got a problem with my scanner, I’ve installed the software off the disk and pressed the scan button on the scanner but its STILL not working, do I need to connect it to the HDD or something?
Another one (me) “Sir, we’ve received your pc back for repair and I thought I’d give you a call to find out what you want us to do with it, we can send it back untouched and you can just pay for the carriage, or for £35 per hour we can repair it for you” (him) “I want you to fix it under the warranty I got with the pc” (me) “Ok, you have sent it back without the HDD, the memory was loose in the box outside the system unit, the sound card and modem have been removed, the motherboard only has one screw holding it in and you’ve removed the cpu heatsink which has been put back on the wrong way round, which is why you cpu is fried, if your lucky the dead cpu will be your only problem” (him) “So why is my warranty void?”
:confused: :confused: <img src="confused.gif" border="0">
My favorite Customer Response:
Me: What were you doing at the time when the error occured?
Customer: Nothing
Me: So you weren't doing anything, on the computer it just crashed itself?
Customer: I don't know, thats what we're here to find out.
Duh... This entry should be self explanitory. I'm sure someone has run into this.
"I never used that program"
with regedit the first thing written in the run dialog box
my store builds computers under our store name (mostly for corporate customers or other resellers but we have alot of our own customers)
"Could I get a trade in on a new computer for my 486DX"
"NO"
"But I bought it here"
"OK, ill give free KB, Mouse and speakers"
"Thats it, it cost me $2k, 5 years ago, it was top of the line"
"not anymore, ma'am"
"Thats it, im calling the BBB, you just lost one very good customer"
"no, im losing a headach, BBB loves when idiots like you call anyway, their gonna be laughing harder then me"
DOOR SLAMS
edited by Sowulo--what this person looks like is irrelevant to this story and insensitive to other members....
One of the most memorable questions was from a customer trying to print on a card that was obviously too short to go through her printer. She asked why the cards kept jamming or not picking up.
I explained that they were too short. Her reply: "That's not an acceptable answer. I'll ask my nephew the next time I see him; he's in a computer program at college."
My response: "Well, if he's any good, he'll tell you the same thing I did!".
I occasionally have to answer the phone when the sales guys are busy with customers. My biggest peeves are with customers on the phone. Especially when I have to stop what I'm doing, and listen to their nonsense. Biggest peeve:
customer: uh yes, I was wondering if, well you see I'm looking for uhm, one of those, wait, do you sell the things you need to put in your computers, that uhm, let you make cd's?
me: yes, we sell cd-recorders, they are $this much.
It's like... get to the point already, I want to get back to the job I was working on.
or:
customer: yeah what time are you guys open til?
me: we are open til 8pm
customer: how do I get to your store?
me: (give directions)
customer: do you guys sell (such and such part).
me: no, we don't stock those, sorry.
customer: ok thanks
c'mon people, ask me if we have what you are looking for BEFORE you ask me the location and hours, so I don't have to waste my time telling you where we are if you aren't even gonna come here!!!!!!!!!!!
/|rokh
"should I back it up first?" :eek:
We all know these:
Real-------------What they say
Monitor----------Computer
Computer---------Modem
Computer---------RAM
Computer---------CD / DVD ROM
Computer---------Harddrive
Monitor----------TV
CD/DVD Rom-------CupHolder (shiver when you hear this one!)
etc...
I actually had this one call when I used to do phone support:
Them: Hi. I'm trying to install a new game, and it said there wasn't enough room on the harddrive to install it. So I double clicked on "My Computer" went into the "C" drive and deleted a whole mess of things. Now, X, Y, and Z, are not working.
Me: *sigh* What did you delete?
Them: Well, I found some programs I never use, so I deleted them. I only kept the Windows folder since that's all I use...
Trust me, I work for a large wireless phone company now, we get the same thing.
Them: My battery won't hold a charge. The books says that it should get 4 hours of talk time, but I only get 2 at best. But I am constantly on the wireless web, I need my backlight on all the time, and I have to have a vibrate ringer. I want a new phone.
Top reasons customers want a new phone to replace theirs because they know its broken:
1) I dropped A call last week. (They only dropped one???)
2) It won't charge. (Ever think it might be the charger?)
3) My battery won't hold a charge! (ever think it might be the battery?)
4) I don't like it anymore. (Tough you-know-what)
5) I dropped it and the screen got smashed.
6) It won't tun on. (Most of the time when I see this, the battery is dead, and just needs to be charged).
We get it too with cel phones... SOmetimes I miss the phone support, you can easily hang up on them. While talking to them, you have to wait for them to leave... :D
Actually, when I worked phone support I got this one once, and as you can see, its not really computer related:
Cust: Where am I calling to?
Me: New Jersey.
Cust: New Joisey? I'm allin all da way to New Joisey?
Me: Yes you are, sir.
Cust: Do ya all tawk like dis in New Joisey?
Me: Well, I'm not talking like that...
Cust: I guess New Joisey is all shopping malls! Are you in a mall?
Me: No, we're in a large office builing in an industrial park.
Cust: Oh. I heard its all hazardous waste up there. How do you live?
Me: Very well, my apartment is on the beach and we have no hazardous waste sites. Just some refineries near the city.
Cust: What city?
Me: New York City.
Cust: New York city is in New Joirsey?
Me: No, its in New York. Its the next state over.
Cust: Don't get fresh with me. Do you know the Sporanos? I'm their cousin. You better take good care of me.
etc....
Sometimes I can't stand unintelligent people...
**SHIVERS**
Some people just shouldn't own a PC..
[quote]Originally posted by 86Camaro400Ci:
<strong>"I never used that program"
with regedit the first thing written in the run dialog box</strong><hr></blockquote>