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My all time favorite is the question asked after the user hosed it up real good:
"Oh, is that bad?"
and of course the evasive responses:
"It just stopped working, I didn't do anything; can you fix it?"
And if I hear this again I will scream in the client's face:
"I don't know nuthin' 'bout computers"
:mad:
Lets see. I think my all time favorite is "I don't know what happened, it just quit working by itself, can you fix it?".
Of course, everyone of us gets this, "If I brought in my home computer can you take a look at it?". I've even had them ask me if I would come to their house on a Sunday and fix their computer.
I really like this one. "I bought a modem for my computer, where does it go?"
" - can I get this for less somewhere else?"
thats probably my LEAST favorite, or how about
" - do you know where I can download (game or program) instead of paying the ($$) for it here?"
like Im the king of all Warez or something...
Most common question:
Q:Where did you learn all this stuff?
A:I'm a genius.
2nd most common question:
Q:Why is my computer so slow?
A:Because it's only a 166 and you installed every stupid piece of crap shareware program ever created to make it worse. And how many friggin instant messeging programs do you really use anyway?
But not necessarily in those exact words.
It has to be...
"Can I ask you a question?" - they just did.
"When is the outage (typically internet, sometimes voice mail on RS/6000) going to be over?"
"What's an OC-3 connection to the internet (155mb/s)"
Sheesh!
Ken
quote from lots of customers, I don't know anything about computers. Why th F*** are u using it then ?, in this day and age lack of basic computer skills in the work palce is no excuse for f'ups and time wasting.
christ my step dad can safely operate the internet, a some apps on his pc and he's only been using one for six moths.
joe average user should be shot.
My all-time favorite questions:
1) What's a keyboard? :eek:
2) How can I download my modem drivers? :p
3) When does the internet run out? :confused:
4) I can't find the internet in my computer, is it done downloading? :(
5) Can you see what I see?
6) What's this about windsocks? :o
7) (While working for an ISP) How do I install my ZIP drive? :mad:
8) Can you send someone to my house to fix it?
9) Is it done yet? :rolleyes:
10) What's a PIBCAK? :D
Yea, I love the these -
me : hello [co. name] this is Jesse, how can I help you?
user : oh hi jeffy (we have someone named jeff)
me : no, no, this is Jesse
user : Effy? (yea, exactly, wtf)
me : NO J-E-S-S-E
user : oohhh!! Jeffy! :mad:
I kid you not, someone ACTUALLY CALLED ME EFFY!! How the F--- does that come out?!
blah blah blah - my comp won't work - blah blah blah, let me tell you what I did, {I'm a complete moron cause I went into dos and typed in del *.dll in the windows directory} :rolleyes:
Another one I forgot
user : well, I could get this cheaper on the net!
me : probably - didn't you want this today though?
user : yea, I need it now.
me : :rolleyes: ok, this is what we have.
user : its 35 bucks cheaper at spankme.com!
me : ok, $65 + like 40 overnight shipping...and you STILL won't have it right now...
hehe, I love that...
The most common, "When will it be done". Sometimes I get that question several times a day, from the same person. They should realize, the more they call, the longer it's going to take for me to get to it. They don't realize that when I say it will take 2-3 days to get to and complete that if they call an hour after they drop it off that it's probably not done yet. My favorite is when there's bluescreen errors and the user asked what's causing it. I've accually told someone that was being a pain that it was a id10t error. They didn't get it, I didn't think they would, but isn't that the beauty, we can rip on customers to their face and they don't even know it. :p
I get the worst questions outside of work. The one that starts it all off is, "Oh, you know about these things?" I hate that, I don't do **** outside of work. I'm "low-tech" once I leave the damn office, leave me alone!
I really hate it when a close friend, or say my mother volunteers my tech skills to some person I don't know but they do. Give me a break, I'll tech my Mom's computer and some close friend's, but not every Joe Schmoe out there. ARGGHH!! :mad: :mad:
We'll...EitherQuote:
Originally posted by bfrau:
"I bought a modem for my computer, where does it go?"
Back to the store.
Or we can shine that sucker up real nice, turn it sideways and.....
Usually i get this question:
"Is it possible to delete the history of were I've been on the internet(my marriage depends on it)?"
HA HA HA HA HA. LOL.Quote:
Originally posted by 'Cobra':
"Why is there a picture of my wife naked on your desktop?"
"I need more ram, so my internet will download faster"
"Why does my computer keep crashing? I installed Norton System works! Its supposed to fix everything!"
"Are you sure that red light is supposed to be on?"
"My computer keeps locking up. I tried Defraging it, but it still wont work. Can you show me how to Defrag correctly?"
"You mean Windows isn't free?"
Whenever I read the posts on this board, I want to sit down and cry.
I use to work at a Internet service. Here are some of my favorite ones:
Hey I just bought this here NASCAR and it wont install. It said it had internet support so I called you fellers.
Then there was this one lady who could reck a machine in under a week. I would take her wrecked machine and use it for months. As soon as she got another one she wrecked it again. She would ask do you think its me? DUH!!!!
MY favorite was Why isnt my Yahoo working? hey you own yahoo!! WOW!
Then theres this one lady that asked if I could put the Internet on a CD for her so she could take it home. When I told her I couldnt she repied that AOL does. I told her to get AOL then.
DO yall' sell type writers here? No what about paper? Sure 1.59 per pack of 100 sheets. (By the way she was drunk and fell on her way out the door).
Do you sell AOL here? Sure Ill sell you this 700 hour disk for 30 bucks.
Do you sell AOL here? No we are a independant ISP. Well how much is AOL? I dont know. She finaly after me explaining to her we are not AOL agrees to purchase 1 month. The next day she storms in saying i falsely sold here our access under AOL's name demanding her money back.
So the most frequently asked question I got was:
DO YOU SELL AOL? ARRRRRRRRGH!!
:confused: