Go on then as I'm confus-ed again, why would we need a car to get recipes ? Have you not heard of delivery ? :wave:
Printable View
Go on then as I'm confus-ed again, why would we need a car to get recipes ? Have you not heard of delivery ? :wave:
"That British Dame, Mags, had said the Chinese place was just around the corner," El Squid thought to himself; his car squeeling its tires on the damp pavement as it skidded through the turn. The twin beams of his headlights scarcely penetrated the dense night fog, which didn't bother the squishy invertebrate, as he had no idea where he was anyway. :rolleyes:
Mags was telling us this wonderful story about prehistoric women.
Somewhere the plot changed and El Squid "the squishy invertebrate"
Got in a car and wrecked a town.His only desire was to feed.
Yet ,the small townspeople were unaware of his innocence.
Again he lurks in the shadows waiting.What will happen next?
Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of the squishy invertebrate mollusc? His tentacles are everywhere, grabbing arks, audiences and French sailboats.
I am scared. :eek:
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
I'm NOT !Quote:
Originally Posted by houseisland
Because even with a squishy thingie zooming along in a car towards or was it away from, the Chinese Restaurant, nothing could upset dear Daisy and the other prehistoric monsters ... ooops, Ladies .. as they head towards the Chinese Restaurant .. where awaits ..
Ahhhhh.... I now understand why you are not afraid.
http://www.asian-recipes.com/authent...huan-style.gif
Squid Rolls Szechuan Style Recipe
Poor Señor Calamar!
http://seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/OCEAN_P...GES/I-2000.gif
Smithsonian Squid Exhibit.
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Expelling a cloud of indelible ink, the nefarious cephalopod makes its escape from the deadly kitchen of Fu Manchu, scuttling across the greasy tile floor in a flurry of tentacles. Out the back door, a quick squirm down the back alley leads our spineless hero to his waiting hot air balloon, which he quickly inflates with a steady stream of meaningless rhetoric.:p
Bwa, ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha! :grin: :flames:
Maniacal laughter escapes its beak, as the balloon soars into the night sky, high above the roof tops.
Later that night, in the back alley behind a sleazy Taco del Mar on the wrong side of town, our diabolical denizen of the deep meets with his obsessive compulsive henchman, Captain Ahab.
http://stuarthughes.blogspot.com/capn%20ahab.jpg
Plans are laid for revenge on you-know-who.
http://unmuseum.mus.pa.us/whalesq.jpg
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
http://www.lucyreading.com/images/fl.../squidflat.jpg
Little did Daisy, Captain Ahab or any of the Prehistoric Women suspect that the quick, yet squishy, cephalopod was not just a lovable, if somewhat slimy, invertebrate, but one of the dread denizens of the dark, an aquatic undead creature, a Vampire Squid, from Hell! :flames:
A a a a a r r r r r r g g g g g g h h h h h h . . . . ..
Real squids THINK they have a sense of humor. They often create fictional char- acters (don't ask me why, it just sounds like a squidly thing to do..right? ...
Branded by mere humans as thoughtless water dwellers they grow and gather.
The day is coming for their rise to dominance.
They all get 72 virgin prehistoric women.
Ah yes, the weather here has been rather milder than of late, but not as much sun as yesterday, I hasten to add. But it is rather lovely seeing all the crocuses in bloom in Bournville .. and also I noticed as I walked, daffodils were coming up too, I do look forward to when they bloom also. Another lovely place when the daffodils bloom is or are the grounds of Woodbrooke Quaker Study Centre. It is a beautiful vista looking towards the lake, across a field .. a host .. a wonder ... of golden daffodils. Also there is a very lovely walled garden, where you will find all kinds of herbs, vegetables, flowers and the odd gardener. Well not that odd, but sort of normal ... and getting in a muddle here ... also Woodbrooke has a library of very old books, some leather bound, a veritable feast for learned folks and meditative folks .. and also I need to say ... really trying to ... ah hmm ...
We've had an unusually warm and mild winter, here in Norman. Our Naked Ladies were just starting to come up, but it decided to snow and freeze, so I don't know if they will make it. As usual, the weather in Oklahoma has been psychotic and we are in for a hard freeze tonight. Perhaps, we shall mosey on over to the Duck Pond for a picnic, when it warms up next week, before the Thunderstorms blow in.
Away from the tiring task of trouncing the world into terror , our sly cephalopod takes a break with his squishy family, who believe him to be a mild-mannered techno-civil-servant -- little do they know.... bwa ha ha ha!
As the wife and the little squidlets bask in the sun beside an innocent looking Oklahoma duck pond, snacking on krill and anchovetta, the killer kraken, King Kalamari spies a bevy of prehistoric prima donnas prevaricating past the primulas on the posterior part of the pond's precipitous banks.
Quickly he pulls his wallet from under his mantle and gives the squishy wife ten clams to take the squidlets for herring ice cream.
Then suddenly slapping his slippery tentacles together soundly, our super squid obscures the entire sense of this thread in a cloud of inky black verbose verbiage.
Distracted, Daisy and her dames don't stand a chance. The dames had been intent on dilacerating our squishy hero, but now the wrath of the kraken is unleashed in atrocious alliteration. Like some hydra-headed horror, the squid rises to his full mollusc majesty, tentacles flying, and everywhere slimy suckers pucker the masses of prehistoric cellulite.
But just when it looks it is coming to the end for Daisy and her dames, Moby Dick rises to occasion one more time. "God, I love that whale!" sighs Daisy.
http://www.rockisland.com/~orcasurv/spermbr.jpg
Breaching the surface of the pond, Moby bites our hero hard, the cetacean dentures denting the delectable, delicate calamari flesh.
The desperate squid calls for Ahab.
Daisy laughs long and hard, displaying Ahab's peg leg to our disbelieving denizen of the deep.
Meanwhile in a cheap housekeeping room above the sleazy Taco Del Mar on the wrong side of town, Ahab struggles with the hand cuffs, his sweat forming a pool on the rubber sheets. "Damn that devious Daisy!" he shouts.
It looks like the demise of our dastardly denizen of the deep.
Tune in next week, kids, for the exciting continuation of the adventures of King Kalamar.
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Yeah, it's next week tomorrow !!!Quote:
Originally Posted by houseisland
Leaping, alliterative lizards, Little Daisy! All of the lurid and lengthy linguistic gymnastics leave me breathless, baffled and bemused. Betwixt me and thee, I await the unfolding of this demented drama with delirious delight. :p
...delirious delight? Even enjoying the fact that ..
...what was I going to say?
Ah I remember now, all this talk of the squids getting 72 prehistoric women, I hear that theologians, historians, teachers, scholars, lazy schoolboys, fishmongers, builders, carpenters, college lecturers have all come to the conclusion after lengthy, ponderous study, that all the women on the Prehistoric Planet happen to be gay except for ONE !
She's the Mother of Daisy and Daisy and Daisy and Daisy and Daisy and Daisy and ..
However, the Giant Squid one day realised ......
Let me guess the one who isn,t gay is a lesbian.Kinda like the Queen Bee or would that be King Bee? Humm,who is counting.
However, the Giant Squid one day realised ......
Meanwhile back on the wrong side of town, Yakitori Chi-Ken, the last surviving kamikaze pilot and a modern day scientific whale harvester extraordinaire, docks his cyber-whaling-dory in front of the sleazy Taco Del Mar.
https://forums.windrivers.com/
Taking down the photon sail and dropping the gravity anchor, he hops over the gunnel and onto the sidewalk.
Too tired for much alliteration, he wanders round the back of the Taco Del Mar and into the alley. His head is full of fond recollections of Ahab, blubber and happy times in the fo'c's'le.
At the open door of the cheap housekeeping room, he starts back seeing Ahab handcuffed to the bed frame, resplendent in a diaphanous Sailor Moon costume.
Quickly he adopts the lotus position, and as his alpha brainwaves collide with the physical reality of the room, there is a quantum shift and the housekeeping room becomes a Zen meditation garden. The cuffs on Ahab's wrists fade. "The dreamlike temporal illusion they always were," says Chi-Ken.
Ahab asks, "What about the Sailor Moon costume?"
His face completely inscrutable except for a brief sparkle in his eyes, Chi-Ken mysteriously says, "You choose your reality. I choose mine."
Ahab suddenly notices his King Kalamar utility watch on a large black stone, which had been a dresser. The Squid alert is flashing.
"Ornery octopi," observes Ahab, "the squid's in trouble!"
Suddenly there is another Zen/Quantum shift, and Chi-Ken and Ahab are in the cyber-whaling-dory. The gravity anchor is hoisted, Ahab mans the turbo-photon oars, there is a flash of light, and the dory appears on the duck pond immediately above Moby.
http://www.biosbcc.net/ocean/marines...whimg/6137.jpg
"Hey Sashimi, drop the squid!" shouts Chi-Ken.
Moby, sensing imminent scientific harvesting, drops the squid and sounds to the bottom of the pond to make his get away.
Chi-Ken Zen-projects the cast of Seven Samurai onto the bank of the pond. Daisy drops Ahab's peg leg in fright and flees, her dames right behind her. The leg is Zen levitated back to Ahab, and our damaged diabolical denizen of the deep is pulled on board the dory.
The squid leaves a tender note for the squishy wife and squidlets, dropping it tenderly on the picnic blanket with a tender tentacle.
Chi-Ken then sets course for the dreaded House Island, last refuge of the criminally insane and other MS certified professionals.
There is a flash of light, and then all is quiet.
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
...aaah ... ohhh . ... mmmm ... eeee ... ooooh ... ahhhQuote:
Originally Posted by houseisland
houseisland-You definitely have the talents to be an author.
I don't know if you've considered it but....
You are there!!!
I have also read all of Mags- Welcome to my world-
It is amazing to find 2 people on one website with so much talent.
There is a flash of light, and then all is quiet.
..and all is quiet ...
..then along walks a little boy called Tommy, he had been watching from behind a palm tree and saw that Chi-Ken had gone.
Tommy had travelled in on a Coracle from the Planet of Scotland .. he wore a little kilt .. he stood amazed ... he'd never seen so many women .. not even at school, which he'd left because he was far too intelligent to stay there for another 10 years ... sigh.
Then he espied Daisy and he said, "....
Then he espied Daisy and he said, "....
The shape of a coracle is
dependent on the river on
which it was to be used; ...
I'm your huckleberry...Who's your......
"Tha i glè bhrèagha an-diugh. Ciamar a tha thu? Dè 'n t-ainm a tha ort? A bheil GÃ*idhlig agaibh?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Mags
http://gd.openoffice.org/
____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
Then he espied Daisy and he said, "....Hi i am Tommy
from Golden Isle Express. I like to be a girl i am a crossdresser.
This is not really a little kilt.Did it fool you?I am on my
way to Bagdad to upgrade my attire.
Suddenly..........
...ah, that's all very well, but was that the correct translation of ...
"Tha i glè bhrèagha an-diugh. Ciamar a tha thu? Dè 'n t-ainm a tha ort? A bheil GÃ*idhlig agaibh?"
???
Well contrary to popular belief it has nothing to do with the gruesome What's under yer kilt joke:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mags
"What's under yer kilt wee Tommy?"
"Aye, Daisy, why ye nay see fer yer self?"
"Ochh, Tommy it's gruesome."
"Why ye nay look agin, lassie? It's gruesome more!"
In fact it means something like:
"It's a beautiful day. How are you? What's your name? Do you speak Gaelic?"
_________________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
To which Daisy replied, of course I do, 'It's a brae breck nicht aboard the Planet ... but I don't know a lot more. Do you speak Prehistoric Woman language?'Quote:
Originally Posted by houseisland
El Squid pulled the brim of his battered fedora down low, over his brow. He pondered the words that prehistoric dame had said, but couldn't make any sense of them. She had been speaking in Garlic, or Gaelic, or something like that, but it didn't matter; it was all Greek to him.
A lonely light fixture struggled to illuminate the debris strewn alley behind the Taco De La Mer, succeeding only in making a small pool of light in the murky darkness. The cephalopod started walking, err... squirming... moving out of the dark alley, flicking his cigarette butt into a nearby puddle, where it went out with a hiss.
"Someday," he promised himself, again, "I'll have to give up the habit." Something which should have been easy for him to do, considering he had no lips, or lungs, for that matter.
He took a right at bleeker Street, heading for his purple sedan, blissfully unaware of the squinty, bloodshot eyes which had been watching his every move. A white humpback whale stepped out of the shadows, pulling its trenchcoat closer to ward off the cold midnight air, and slowly followed the squid's tracks. An evil grin tugged at its lips, as it felt the hard lump of a snub nosed 38 in its pocket.
"Soon," the cetaceous stalker thought, "Real soon!"
However, there were a couple of things that Moby didn't know, that he couldn't know.
One is that the squid was not the same old squid. During his recuperation on the dreaded House Island, the last refuge of the criminally insane and other MS certified professionals, a number of modifications had been made to the sly cephalopod. The mad Dr. Bruce Anthrax, an evil ex-pat Australian cyber-robotic scientist with a Ned Kelly fixation, wanted dead or alive by every major police force and security agency worldwide, had tended to our hero's wounds. The Killer Kraken had been fitted with a Kevlar stealth mantle, a titanium razor beak with a laser radula, a neutron ink cloud generator, tractor beam enhanced tentacles with gravity pod suckers, and most importantly a photon funnel/siphon, which allowed light-speed travel in any direction. Moby, Daisy and the prehistoric dames and the world at large were not ready for what was to come. Bwaa ha ha ha ha!
http://www.thetech.org/exhibits/onli...ages/squid.gif
Robot Zoo
Dr. Bruce in his lab:
http://www.anonymousphilanthropist.c...obotbig_th.jpg
The other thing that Moby could not know was that Dr. Bruce had secrectly provided King Kalamar with a guardian angel from Hell, the beast from down under, the pestilent cyborg platypus of doom, Mr. P, here seen getting ready to steal candy from a baby.
:flames:
http://www.anonymousphilanthropist.c...otplatypus.jpg
Back in the deepest gloom of the trash strewn alley, a pair of beady amphibious monotreme borg eyes stared out at the white whale, watching its every move with malevolent intent.....
______________________________________________
Dr. Bruce's early squid modification prototypes:
http://www.labcoatcomics.com/robosquid/swimmer.gif
http://www.jimracchi.com/squid.jpg
_____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
...then Daisy peeped out from behind the back of her Mother's skirts, rather afraid and a little bit frustrated that her 52Kbps speed has been reduced to 50Kbps and that no-one has answered her written missives which were sent by pigeon post to the Great One in the Sky who allows all connections .. so she scratched her head, for her speed did not allow her to keep up with all the fast moving action suddenly happening on the Prehistoric Planet.
She wondered whether the Old Squid (as she fiddled with her modem) would come back again.....?
As the fates would have it, El Squid became hopelessly preoccupied with the quest for an appropriate battery charger, as all he had was one for the cigarette lighter of his car and one for European outlets. Terrified at the thought of his battery running low, the Cephaloborg, did not dare wander far from his vehicle, although he did consider moving to the old country and opening a bistro. Perhaps Doctor Bruce would be interested in investing in this culinary adventure? Mr. P, the Terror from Down Under, could make vegamite sandwiches, as well.
And so, dear readers, the saga of sweet Daisy the Prehistoric Woman seems to have run its course. Will the last person out please turn off the lights. ;)
<click>
<Mumble> Now I can't see the vegemite sandwiches...
In the darkness Mr. P pondered what the Squid had been proposterously pontificating about.
He raised a furry paw to the side of his beak and brushed away a few crumbs of bread stuck in the vegimite.
"The saga had run its course..... How could it run its course if, of course, it never had a course?" He wondered. "The thread had been hijacked in so many different directions, and through it all Daisy had retained a certain degree of poise, despite the ocassional cephalapodicidal tendencies that arose whenever Chinese restaurants were mentioned. How would Daisy feel about her sudden demise? Was this the Squid's ultimate revenge on Daisy and her dames, having the Uber-Tech rgharper flick the switch on the whole thing?"
His monotreme brain struggled with the existential void before him.......
_____________________________________________
http://forums.windrivers.com/images/.../2010/07/1.jpg
It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!
(Sorry, I thought everyone had left.)
<click>
Bwa, ha, ha! Victory is mine! Darkness reigns supreme! :flames:
<thud> <bump> Ouch, damn it! Stubbed my tentacle! :mad:
Ya miscounted clicks. The first one was OFF, the second one was ON. The room is therefore fully lighted now. Maybe you need to get those eyes checked ... or quit wearing your sunglasses at night. :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by El_Squid