Printer Funnies

Here's two stories for you -> People = Stupid

One
A customer came into the store...his printer wasn't printer very good we suggest clean the printer head and/or replace the ink cart. ...
Well brainy takes his print and cleans it out side with a watering hose, washes it down then calls back saying its not working at all any more.

Two
A customer calls after picking up her machine (she corrupted windows pretty bad - so we reload She was told she would have to install her printer drivers)
and says the printer is not working...so I said did you install the printer drivers again, she replyed 'No' I said 'okay not a problem just put the cd in the cdrom and the automatic installation program, should pop up'...after about 10 minutes of waiting on the line she come back on the line crying saying she'll have to get her husband to call back because she can't find where to put the CD IN THE PRINTER and hangs up the phone...I have never laughed so hard after a phone call...

:D :D :D

[quote]Originally posted by LaSERCHiPs:
A customer came into the store...his printer wasn't printer very good we suggest clean the printer head and/or replace the ink cart. ...
Well brainy takes his print and cleans it out side with a watering hose, washes it down then calls back saying its not working at all any more.
<hr></blockquote>

I do that to my keyboard when I spill something on it. But I let it dry first before I plug it back in...

[quote]
back on the line crying saying she'll have to get her husband to call back because she can't find where to put the CD IN THE PRINTER <hr></blockquote>

What's worse is not her stupidity, but the fact that a printer reduced her to tears...

in the past week I have worked on 2 printers that the customer said " it goes though all the motions but no ink comes out or only black comes out. Well guess what.. you know that tape on the cartridge that was still on the bottom, they got it off the back but not hte bottom. lol stupid people give us the money

[quote]Originally posted by firemonkey:
<strong>in the past week I have worked on 2 printers that the customer said " it goes though all the motions but no ink comes out or only black comes out. Well guess what.. you know that tape on the cartridge that was still on the bottom, they got it off the back but not hte bottom. lol stupid people give us the money</strong><hr></blockquote>

We service many different printers in the shop. And most times with the inkjets, ether the ink is completly out or they forget to remove that tab and these are customers that have brought in their printers before with the same problem.

some people should not be allowed to breed...

a printer dosent require rocket science... just the ability to read...

MD

I do that to my keyboard when I spill something on it. But I let it dry first before I plug it back in...

To tell you the truth, in one of my computer classes, the teacher suggested this way to clean a mobo:

1: Remove it and disconnect eeverything.
2: Remove all removable ICs, add-on boards, etc...
3: Dip in a soapy water solution, luke warm, for about 30 minutes.
4: Place on a countertop for about 15-30 minutes & preheat the oven to 200-250F degrees
5: place the motherboard in the oven for about 30 minutes, to letit dry.
6: place on a cookie rack with paper towels under it overnight.
7: reinstall ICs and addon boards, reinstall in PC.

And you know what? It works!

If you're worried about melting it in the oven, you'r CPU can get over 300 degrees inside. Solder melts at about 350 degrees.

My favorite is people that own Compaq or Lexmark printers with the ink gauges that they forget to reset or they reset after the ink is about gone.

"My printer goes through the motions, but nothing prints"

Have you checked the cartridges

"yes and my guages show full"

They bring the printer in, I lift the cartridge out and it's light as a feather, change out cartridge charge them $40.00 for the labor and $38.00 for a cartridge = $78.00 total plus tax.

Price of a new printer from Compaq $99.00

Go figure :D :p :D

[quote]Originally posted by Vette2000:
<strong>My favorite is people that own Compaq or Lexmark printers with the ink gauges that they forget to reset or they reset after the ink is about gone.
Price of a new printer from Compaq $99.00

Go figure :D :p :D </strong><hr></blockquote>

Those are probably the worst printers someone could buy...
I remember I was once mystery shopped by a compaq rep. I sold him on the HP 722.. ;-)

Speaking of HP, how about the people who forget to remove the tap off the printheads? I used to see a lot of those there.

Or, I bought a parallel cable, but it doesn't fit my parallel printer...(They bought a standard DB25M to DB25M cable..)

[quote]Originally posted by firemonkey:
<strong>in the past week I have worked on 2 printers that the customer said " it goes though all the motions but no ink comes out or only black comes out. Well guess what.. you know that tape on the cartridge that was still on the bottom, they got it off the back but not hte bottom. lol stupid people give us the money</strong><hr></blockquote>

I see this all the time. Can't say I always blame the user though. Sometimes they take the tape off, but just a little sticks on for some reason. I can't expect a lot of people to catch that. Especially when I'm just happy enough that they know HOW to change a print cartrage at all.

[quote]Originally posted by MD_Geist:
<strong>some people should not be allowed to breed...

a printer dosent require rocket science... just the ability to read...

MD</strong><hr></blockquote>

I hear ya there brother!

[quote]Originally posted by MD_Geist:
<strong>some people should not be allowed to breed...

a printer dosent require rocket science... just the ability to read...

MD</strong><hr></blockquote>

It all goes back to the saying,
R T F M

I still say people should have to take two tests (and do well on both) before they are allowed to buy a computer.
An IQ test and a literacy test.

Nothing too hard, just to see if they can read, and if their IQ is higher than that of an eggplant.

Well with the people who install cartridges, well with where I was at we weren't suposed to give phone support , this laddie called up and said I can't get the cartridges on to my new printer so going abouve policy I tried to help her. I said well you got to take the tape off and put the bottom part in, and push back till it clicks in place, she barked back like I was a idiot "I have already tried that" I told her that well thats about all I can recomendm if you bring it in we can help you (it would have been free) or you can call the manufacture. other than that I don't know what to tell you. there was a monement of silence and in a very very rude voice "thanxs for the help" What else could I have done?

*laughs* for the longest time we maintained a 3800 printer that would print mainframe jobs.... well this thing is like huge, well one morning we come in, and there is a big rooster tail of toner just spitting out of the printer... it was kinda funny, until we realized how much of a pain that was to get off the walls, the ceiling tiles, the floor tiles...

Man, do I have a lot of printer stories:

In my high school, they had dot matrix printers for students to print in-class assignments with. Anyways, these printers had a paper guide that would fit over the back of the printer to direct the paper into a neat pile behind the printer. For some stupid reason (and I never found out who) the guides would be removed on a regular basis, resulting in the paper coming out of the printer, curling around and re-feeding into the roller. If this situation was allowed to continue (remember this is continuous fan fold paper we're talking about here) the paper would roll up around the roller until the whole printer jammed up solid. Needless to say this was a huge mess and you had to take the whole printer apart to get the paper out.

On another note, when I came to my current job, for some reason there were no printer queues for the CAD printers. Everybody printed by making plot files and manually copying them to a captured LPT port. Realizing how dumb this was, I went about hooking them back into the network, and imagine my surprise when no sooner than I do this, that paper starts coming out. Apparently, somebody printed something a couple of years earlier and because the queue wasn't being serviced, the print job sat there for something like two years!

More recently at my current job, somebody got the bright idea to use the reverse side of old junk faxes and other unwanted print jobs to print draft documents on. I did a print job not thinking about it, and when I went to retrieve it, there were very similar looking specifications on both sides. :mad:

On the odd occasion, when I'm reading through a printed 500 page document, I'll find an unrelated page that somebody else printed at the same time.

[quote]Originally posted by MacGyver:
<strong>On another note, when I came to my current job, for some reason there were no printer queues for the CAD printers. Everybody printed by making plot files and manually copying them to a captured LPT port. Realizing how dumb this was, I went about hooking them back into the network, and imagine my surprise when no sooner than I do this, that paper starts coming out. Apparently, somebody printed something a couple of years earlier and because the queue wasn't being serviced, the print job sat there for something like two years!
</strong><hr></blockquote>

LOL!!!