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I was working on a Win98 machine that was buggy. So buggy in fact that when it was running scandisk after crashing, the yellow bar on the bottom of the screen went past the end of the box and right to the edge of the screen and it said it was 115% done with the scan. We tried go get a picture but it did not turn out. It was the funniest think I ever saw! Go M$
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You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track,
only to discover that you're on the wrong train.
I was installing an old USR modem and a warning screen popped up and said "you must no do that".
Umm...must no?
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Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! Story at ten!
I didnt realize that it was possible to have a HDD with 347% Fragmentation, until I saw it on my friends computer.
"How come I cant open this word doc?"
I just laughed and told him that it would be easier to format. (guess who he asked to do it.)
Hi, Larommi. As you can see I'm still here. https://forums.windrivers.com/
This month, I had to fix two machines having a really weird problem.
They were both connected together using NICs and CAT-5 cable. A PC and a Laptop.
When Win98 started, the machines were working too slow. For example, you pressed the "Start" button but they needed about 5 mins to display the menu.
Someone said it was a virus called VScript, or something.
I've examined both carefully. Used the latest Antivirus software. No virus found.
I've did everything. Checked the startup menu, msconfig and startup files config.sys, autoexec.bat, win.ini and system ini. No good results.
Then I reinstalled Windows over. The same.
Checked all device drivers too.
The solution?
A format and a clean installation!
An uknown virus? Probably!
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"Matter is passive. In spite of its power, it can't be controlled without the human mind." Sokrates
My Hardware Info, Hardware Media and Computer History page
One time another tech here was screwing in a sound card, and dropped the screw. When the screw hit the motherboard, the machine turned on and started booting.....I thought that was pretty odd that the screw shorted something that cause the machine to boot.
What's the chances of ever doing that again?
(BTW..I think he now remembers to unplug machines before working inside!)
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WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY?......Not that it matters, because Micrsoft will crash on the way there!!!
ummm a packard bell working hahaha
j/k
mine would be why a cdr rattles so loud as a sec slave .. yet sec mast it doest (have changed cables and mobo) the 72x doesnt rattle as sec slave so its now cdr sec mast and 72x sec slave but why does it rattle so loud when the cdr is slave
i guess somethings dont make sense
I had a screensaver come on and when I got out of it, it kept running right over my desktop. My word document had the mystify your mind runing over the top of it in inverted colors. It was pretty funny.
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hAS ANYONE SEEN MY "cAPS lOCK kEY"?
Every time I turn on my external modem, my computer will turn on too.
Oh, and I got my calculator to play music.
Back in the rotten days of 3.1 I was installing a program (forget what it was) and it got up to 135%...I think it hung at that point. a reinstall worked fine, as I recall
Windows actualy works he he https://forums.windrivers.com/
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Format c:( I'm givin er all she's got cap'in !!! )
Couple of weeks ago a friend called me up, her video looked funny. Did it ever! All the text was wierd (eventually figured out that somehow it was displaying "a" for a and b, "c" for c and d, etc, so that I got an "Imuakid Syssem Cisk" error = Invalid System Disk. The thing froze constantly, and whenever the hard drive accessed the monitor was overlaid by exlimation marks. turns out the video card had issues
While programming in my MS Visual Studio for C++ , I got an error message that said "You should never see this error" Was to go Microshaft.
Go in office 97, word. Type these words in exactly as they appear..."I'd love to see you naked"
Now, go up to the top and highlight that sentence, with no periods at the end and click on tools, and the thesaurus....watch.
You'll love it!
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Do one thing everyday that scares you!
I guess the craziest thing i ever saw wasn't what a machine did, but what a person did to a machine.
I got a computer in at the tech bench that wouldn't boot anymore. I opened it up and some how the guy who built it for this woman rigged a laptop HD in it, I mean he had the IDE controller cable spliced and soldered onto the HD's connectors. I didn't even know that was possible. She started to cry when i told her she needed a new HD. The guy realy ripped her off. The whole machine was old parts inside and she paid way to much for it. she was told it was brand new, built to her specs as far as the options he gave her to choose from. He told her it was a pIII 700mghz, It was actualy a pentium-166. some how he modified the boot up to say Pentium III 700 I felt very bad for her, and the guy had gone out of buisness, i wonder why??? Oh well, i did all i could for her and cut her a bit of a deal on the labor, When she cried it got me https://forums.windrivers.com/
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We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us.
[This message has been edited by LORE (edited October 30, 2000).]
Other good ones to try in MSWord 97 prior to the service patches are:
"Unable to follow directions"
and
"I'd like to see Bill Gates dead"
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***the Beast
- Fate drove me here...then told me to get out of the car...
Back in the old days of C=64's and Vic20's, we used to play music on our floppy drives and dot matrix printers.
Interesting hearing a 1541 drive play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'...
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Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?
(And from TheBeast's message, also)...Quote:
Originally posted by mikesorensen:
Go in office 97, word. Type these words in exactly as they appear..."I'd love to see you naked"
Now, go up to the top and highlight that sentence, with no periods at the end and click on tools, and the thesaurus....watch.
You'll love it!
I am laughing my *** off right now!!!!
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Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?
ROFLMAOQuote:
Originally posted by mikesorensen:
Go in office 97, word. Type these words in exactly as they appear..."I'd love to see you naked"
Now, go up to the top and highlight that sentence, with no periods at the end and click on tools, and the thesaurus....watch.
You'll love it!
A little experimenting and you can come up with some other good ones. https://forums.windrivers.com/
On an old (5Yrs) Packard Bell Desktop, system restore program exited with the error:
"Sorry, Something wnet wrong"
And yes, it did say wnet.
I saw something very famillar to that... I dont recall the "wnet" but I do remember seeing a polite little message like that when I was trying to install Tie Fighter on my bothers computer awhile back... I laughed my *** off. No one in the house thought it was funny but me. Looking back I wish I would have had someone to share that with. I think all crashes should be like that.
I can see it now.
BSOD: Sorry, but your Operating System has encountered a critical error in Kernel Blah blah blah. We do Apologize for this error, but at the time of software release we could not find the line to which this error refers. Have a nice day. Your machine will reboot in: 5...4...3... ----------
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Tell me; Future-Boy, who’s president of the United States in 1985?
The oddest thing I saw was a monitor that had the image upsidedown and backwards. Other monitors work fine. Seems that someone tried replacing the monitor with the wrong tube.
For those of us who don't have MS Word (or MS anything https://forums.windrivers.com/), what does it say? Is it along the same lines as the old racist version?
l once tried to run an IRC client as root, and got the error message: "Running IRC as root is stupid. Very stupid. Don't do it."
hey, it was right.. https://forums.windrivers.com/
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Either drop the Windows out of your computers, or drop your computers out of the windows.
BreakWindows
come to my office to watch it again and again. we have some cheap celery boards, pcchips and soyo's i think(i don't pick'em i just put'em together). put something in the computer and watch it turn on. i just about had a heart attack the first time it happened when i put a modem in one and i heard the computer come on. i thought the shop was haunted for a couple days there until i realized its because of the cheap hardware :-) i turn everything off in the room now except for the lights when i work on hardware.Quote:
Originally posted by 3fingersalute:
One time another tech here was screwing in a sound card, and dropped the screw. When the screw hit the motherboard, the machine turned on and started booting.....I thought that was pretty odd that the screw shorted something that cause the machine to boot.
What's the chances of ever doing that again?
(BTW..I think he now remembers to unplug machines before working inside!)
“I’d” followed by anything = I'll drink to that
aka
I’d give bill all my money if he asked me to = I'll drink to that
I’d kill you all if I could only get out of the damm pen I am stuck in = I'll drink to that
I’d g;aifdsja;lkvja;s you fj;lasdkgj if you f;kalsfj or even fdfasdfdsafsadfa;lkj = I'll drink to that
I’d = I'll drink to that
How I works depends on if it is followed by a verb
I like = I should say so
I feel aka I then a verb = verb
“I like this program” = I should say so
“I I'd” = I should say so
“I” = I appreciate it
Think of some interesting things to use this with and then post them here please
Unable to feel = Unable to have an erection
Unable to = unable to distinguish sound
Oddest thing? Happened a week or so ago, with a monitor and a PC. Seems they just didn't like each other after a while. Machine was a Gateway, couple of years old and one day I get a call from a user "My screens got this message on and it won't go away"
So I go down to this machine and sure enough, smack bang in the middle of the screen is the message that some monitors give off on startup (about frequencies etc). I couldn't get it to go so I replaced the monitor and its fine.
Take the monitor to another machine and its fine (?!??!?!). Just for curiousity after the user went home I put the monitor back on her PC, and the message is back. Take it off and replace and guess what? PC is fine and the monitor is currently happier in its new relationship with a Dell Optiplex.....
An error message I once saw which made me laugh was a custom made accounts packing running on Unify, a screen pops up with "An error has occurred, then underneath, 'Error code - No error has occurred'" Sheer genius......
Award Boot Block BIOS
corrupt BIOS ROM data
insert system disk ... press any key
( did so )
(screen blanks out)
Award Boot Block BIOS
corrupt BIOS ROM data
insert system disk ... press any key
(ad nuasemum )
Had a hard drive going bad, LOTS of bad sectors and was reporting files sizes as large as NEGATIVE 3 terrabytes!
Another time I was working on one of those old 100X CD-roms that used RAM caching or whatever that were out like 4 years ago before 24x's were even popular. I hit the eject button and the CD came out spinning so fast it shot across the room about 20 feet and hit my partner.
Customer's computer had been hit by lightning. Modem was physically damaged, but sound and NIC weren't...so, we swapped them, and sent them under warranty.
Customer thought that the new NIC (an Allied Telesyn) was causing the system to lock, and wanted his original NIC which we sent for warranty replaced.
No probs. He brought the system in. I didn't bother double checking the invoice, and I stuck in a 3COM 905C-TX NIC. Hooked it up to our network (a TCP/IP network). Worked great.
Customer brought it back. Can't get on internet, and can't see other people's computers (also a TCP/IP network).
I pop out. Run WINIPCFG, release, renew. It picked up an IP address...the proper one, picked up a machine address, saw the gateway, saw the DHCP server, grabbed the proper subnet mask. Can't get on the internet, or on the intranet.
Uninstall all the drivers, reinstall everything. Still no go.
Bring it back to the shop, check it out. Works fine. Download the newest 3Com drivers. Reinstall all the drivers and protocols. No probs. I can surf on our internet fine, I can see our server, etc.
Bring it back to the customer. Still no connection. Tried different cables, tried those cables in different machines, tried different hubs. Still no connection. Tried different protocol (NetBEUI), still no connection.
Gave up, went home for the weekend (it was their closing time).
Got back into work Monday, double checked invoice. "Oh, it should be a D-Link NIC. Here's his RMA'd NIC."
Popped back out to customer's site. Swapped 3Com for D-Link. Schwing! Internet is now working, can see other computers, can access other computers...
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***the Beast
- Fate drove me here...then told me to get out of the car...
My favorite error has to be from the Win32 version of ICQ (I know 2000b does it, not sure about others...) but if you try to paste a lot of text into a chat session, it pops up a small window that just says "Yeah, right!"
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Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
HA!
See a Packard bell work!
LMAO!
once tweaked a apple 2e disk drive eject spring to the max. the motor to pull it back and threw the disk about 40 ft into the side of a monitor fixn the error
Two things
One I had a computer come in the other day that had a virus on it. It would not boot to windows so I used a boot disk. I "dir" C:\ drive and all the characters came back funky. The funny thing was that it showed a couple of 4GB files with dates that said 15-31-99 for the date... there had to be about eight of them. This was on a 4GB Hard drive
Two had an e-machine come in also, the guy was having Internet problems. I was going to check his mail by sending a test message, but when I clicked on "New Message" his computer restarted. I think it was possesed up until the point that the owner did an excorsist/reload on it. He said it's working for now.
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Um...I really didn't need your help........ I was just testing you!
I had about 100 files on our network that were created in the fifties... whether or not that is 1950 or 2050, I couldn't tell you. When I was burning old project data to CD, EasyCDwriter picked up the bad dates and refused to go on. I had to change them, so I did to... you guessed it: January 1, 1980. Anyone remember that before the days of battery backedup clocks?
I have a computer that reboots itself at odd intervals. Sometimes I can go days without a spontaneous reboot, sometimes only minutes. Replaced the PS & Mobo, and it still happens. It's connected to a UPS, so it can't be a surge problem. Gremlins?
P.S. Type "I would like a BJ" into Word, do the Thesaurus thing, and get "It's no trouble"....hehehehe
I have one right now. A 5 year old FoxPro 2.5 app suddenly dropped the "0" key on the number pad. All other keys work it just happened monday. It still does it after a restore from backup. I have no clue how to fix it.
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--The Internet -- It's not just for porn anymore!!!
No, computer possession.Quote:
Originally posted by Blackhawk:
I have a computer that reboots itself at odd intervals. Sometimes I can go days without a spontaneous reboot, sometimes only minutes. Replaced the PS & Mobo, and it still happens. It's connected to a UPS, so it can't be a surge problem. Gremlins?
I had the same thing at work. Suddenly, without warning, my computer began spontaneously rebooting, with no plausible explanation. It also started taking 20 minutes to reboot.
Calls to the technical department were fruitless and condescending: "Oh, you're probably doing something to it", or "Did you try cold rebooting?" Hello??? I'm in TECH SUPPORT. Something's wrong with my hardware! I'd fix it myself if it wasn't a fireable offense! (We're not supposed to open up our own computers.)
By the time I *finally* convinced them to come out and look at it (about two weeks worth of nonsense), it had launched itself into a continuous cycle of rebooting.
Once they opened it up, they discovered that not only did I have the oldest computer in the Tech Support department, but it was a 486 SX with 8 MB of RAM. In addition, there was a black shorted-out area on the mobo that was SO old the soot was caked in dust!
So I guess trying to run Win95SE and needing to have several memory-intensive programs open at once was just insane, right?
They basically just junkheaped it; there was not much they could do.
I now have a nice Ipaq that I am relatively happy with. I also keep a screwdriver and a can of compressed air stashed in my desk drawer (with my mgr's blessing) so I can keep the mofo clean.
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Required Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are my own and not those of my employer.
I have had a few odd ones in my shop in my day. I have seen most of what everyone here has listed: spontaneous rebooting, rapid-ejecting external devices, and the occasional machine-screw induced short-out.
Perhaps the strangest (in a humorous way) was a computer a customer returned to me about 3 or 4 months after he bought it. Apparently, he let the system sit nearly the entire time he owned it, and had only just the day before turned it on for the first time. He explained that the system was performing very slowly, and had a problem with the CD player. I said bring it in, with the warning that I will not repair it for free.
After I get the system (plus he brought a Digital printer for me to configure for him, since he can't locate a driver for it--go Windrivers!!), I turned it on. Not only does it take an inordinate amount of time to boot up, but it has the other creepy glitch that, every 20 seconds, the cd-rom player slowly opens, out pops a 'Kenny Rogers' greatest Hits' CD; and then it slowly shuts after another 20 seconds. It does this *while* the system is booting. All I am seeing on the computer is a blank, hot pink screen. (After three years doing this, I still have never seen a system do this.)
I am stumped as to what this guy has done to this poor machine. While I am wondering what to do as I am standing over his machine, I noticed a little dark colored spot *move* quickly away from the computer; then another, and then another. Realizing that his computer has been "infested," and that the vermin are quickly fleeing away on my repair table(!), I quickly spirited the machine AND printer outside.
Feeling entirely freaked, I call the guy, and explain that his system has been infested with roaches. He explains that it is probably due to the fact that the building he stored it in was once a restaurant's food storage area. To top it off, he calls me once every six months or so to ask about getting his computer back, even though I have explained to him that the machine is cashed. As if!!
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And what I say to you, I say to all. Watch! Mk 13:37
wackiest i've ever had happen to me...i was playing around with my beloved 8088, doing sector hacking as i wuz wont to do in those days. well, i ended up screwing up ye eolde FAT. wouldn't boot. so in goes the system disk, depressed get ctrl-alt-del, and up she comes. And my machine spake to me from it's depths...."A:\>". to which i replied, "c:<enter>". ok, said the great beast, "C:\>". right arm! what do you think about, "dir<enter>"? "Oh, that's easy, you have one directory here called c:m.". My good friend, you must be mistaken! lemme repeat..."dir<enter>". "No, i swear to God, c:m. As far as i know...". ok, are you able to "cd c:m<enter>"? sure am..."C:\C:M\>". omg, you're a completely different person now! do you still believe in "dir<enter>" when you're in this wierd realm? "yep, here's the contents of your old dir structure." and then proceeded to display what used to be what used to be in c:\. it seems that it pleased the computer gods to endow me with the magical ability to emulate the "merge partition" in partition magic. whence i made haste to sacrifice a 14.4 modem in their honor the next day. https://forums.windrivers.com/
-drew
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I just don't understand stop signs...aren't vehicles made to, well...GO???
regarding above post - the oddest part i found was that it actually let me type ":" as part of the "folder" name...isn't that a special char, even in dos3.3????
-drew
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I just don't understand stop signs...aren't vehicles made to, well...GO???
Got a little Compaq Aero 2160 few weeks back. Playing Solitaire on it, and realised I had 6 aces on the screen. 4 at the top (like normal) and then two turn over from the pack.
No chance of ever winning. Couldn't even do a print screen.,,,,, damn