Stupid labels

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May 23rd, 2002, 05:30 PM
Miq

Stupid labels

I just happened to notice the warning on our paper shredder today that warned me not to put in my fingers. I have also seen a warning on a chainsaw that said do not touch the chain while it is still moving. Just wondering what other stupid warnings or labels everyone has seen.
May 23rd, 2002, 05:35 PM
WebHead

I bought some Drano Max once that said DO NOT DRINK on it.
May 23rd, 2002, 05:38 PM
CodeDragon

Label on a hairdryer: "Do not use in the shower"
Label on a toaster: "Will not toast bread unless plugged in"

Not a label, but a headline in a magazine (in a Dentist's office incidentally): "Grandmother's Fried Chicken Wins Dream Holiday".

Any more?

CD :D
May 23rd, 2002, 05:40 PM
Radical Dreamer

I have seen on a knife "Keep out of children"
May 23rd, 2002, 05:42 PM
MacGyver

My favorite on the back of Sega Genesis game cartridges:

"Do not subject to violent impact"

On a jar of peanut butter, "Alergy Alert, Contains Nuts"
May 23rd, 2002, 07:07 PM
Vette

I always like the Silica packettes that say Do Not Eat. A co-worker of mine tried one several years ago and it did make him mildly sick. :D
May 23rd, 2002, 08:25 PM
weazel

Pill bottles say "take by mouth." Like what am I gonna do, put the pill in my ear? :confused:
May 23rd, 2002, 08:32 PM
FatalException0E

I like Dilbert's response to the bottle of aspirin that said 'do not use if seal is broken'
....then how are you supposed to get the pills out?
May 23rd, 2002, 09:24 PM
ShadowWynd

Umm, some pills (like suppositories) are not taken orally.... Me personally, I would like to know if there is any doubt

On Salted Peanuts.... "This product contains nuts"

Warnings on X-Acto knives, warning about knives being sharp.
May 24th, 2002, 07:26 AM
Outcoded

One a mate of mine saw.

Tesco's Vanilla Choc Ices: Vanilla Flavoured Ice Cream in a Chocolate Flavoured Coating :confused:
May 24th, 2002, 08:24 AM
Drone2903

On a can of "Puss'n Boots" cat food:

"NEW AND IMPROVED TASTE"

Like duh, how is going to know, really ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
May 24th, 2002, 10:15 AM
Commander Klarg

On a fruit snack: Unwrap before eating.

This is all about companies in CYA mode (cover your a$$) with all the brain damaged people out there in our litigous society. Remember a few years back when a new dishwashing soap came out that was made with lemon? Well, several genuine genuises thought it was lemon juice, and used it as such. Boy, wouldn't that soap lemonade taste good. :rolleyes:

So, when you see a stupid label, remember that they have to be read by the lowest common denominator. :D

- LCK, stator of the glaringly obvious
May 24th, 2002, 10:53 AM
Visgothy

On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
May 24th, 2002, 11:00 AM
Mayhem

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
May 24th, 2002, 11:53 AM
davepoet

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Visgothy:
On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>As well as on McDonald's HOT Apple Pie, the box reads: "Caution, filling is hot".

You know that the warning on McDonald's coffee cup was because an old lady ordered coffee in the drive through & placed the cup between her legs so that she could get the bag with the rest of her order. When she reached out of the car, her legs squeezed the cap off of her coffee spilling it all over her "old woman parts". Ended up suing McDonald's for millions. Hence now the warning. She claimed she didnt think the coffee would be that hot.
May 24th, 2002, 05:18 PM
Stryfe

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by *MAYHEM*:
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)<hr /></blockquote>They were probably referring to the frog blender on Joe Cartoon. :D :p

Hmm....stupid labels....hmm.... Dangit. I'm drawing a blank.... I'll be back! :p
May 24th, 2002, 05:27 PM
Poseidon

On a tube of Blistex: Warning - For external use only
May 24th, 2002, 06:43 PM
WebHead

I just noticed my keyboard says, "May cause serious injury" on it. WTF? How?
May 25th, 2002, 04:40 AM
Outcoded

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Lt. Cmdr Klarg:
This is all about companies in CYA mode...<hr /></blockquote>Hey! I have brain damage, and not even I'm stupid enough to try most of these things... well, not a second time anyway <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
May 27th, 2002, 03:40 AM
FatalException0E

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by *MAYHEM*:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
<hr /></blockquote>Let's just HOPE its a translation problem... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
May 28th, 2002, 06:40 AM
Milenko

In all likelyhood, the only reason companies put these labels on their products is because someone moron actually tried to do what they're telling you not to do.

Our baby stroller has a warning not to fold it up while the child is still strapped inside........
May 28th, 2002, 07:38 AM
Draggar

I worked in a grocerey store for a long time, and I noticed that every piece of frozen fish we had showed a picture of the produce on the box, with a fork holding a small piece, as if you're about to eat it.
Below, it says,
"Serving Suggestion".

Eat it with a fork? No way! I never thought of that!

I just like the gruesom pictures of a hand with the fingers being cut off near the deli slicers, garbage compactor, etc...
May 31st, 2002, 12:34 PM
Milenko

I just bought a semi-large tupperware container to keep some stuff in and on the underside of the lid there is a sticker with a picture of a baby inside the container with the lid on. Needless to say, the picture has a big red X over it.

Who the hell would store their baby in a tupperware container????
May 31st, 2002, 12:47 PM
FatalException0E

I went to the grocery store last night, and there's a sign in the parking lot saying 'Do not park between lines'

Isn't that what a parking space is, the area between the lines?
May 31st, 2002, 03:49 PM
CodeDragon

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by FatalException0E:
I went to the grocery store last night, and there's a sign in the parking lot saying 'Do not park between lines'

Isn't that what a parking space is, the area between the lines?<hr /></blockquote>Funny actually, two of the best signs that I've ever seen were in parking lots.

The first was in the lot for an Undertaker's: "Parking for clients only".

The second one is a little more esoteric. Bear in mind that to a scotsman, a "Jessie" is a wimpish person (half my family is from scotland). In the lot for a restaurant called "Jesse's": "Parking for Jesse's Only".

CD <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
June 1st, 2002, 03:08 PM
Vette

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.) <hr /></blockquote>Just think of hampsters, gerbils, goldfish, etc.... :D :D
June 1st, 2002, 06:21 PM
Outcoded

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Vette:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr /> On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.) <hr /></blockquote>Just think of hampsters, gerbils, goldfish, etc.... :D :D <hr /></blockquote>Now you're making me hungry.
June 4th, 2002, 02:10 PM
+Daemon+

I bought a holy 500 cfm carb for my truck, on the side it states this:

For off road use only, not to be used on the street. Not to be sold in California.

Humm, I bought it from my local Auto Zone dealer here in california. Hummmmmm
June 4th, 2002, 02:30 PM
CodeDragon

I'm having a week for these.

On a 15Kg butane cannister:

"Not to be used or sold in countries other than those where retail or use is permitted"

And they are?

CD
June 5th, 2002, 08:06 AM
firemonkey

On a Harry Potter broom, "Does not fly"
June 5th, 2002, 02:18 PM
Quiet Thunder

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by davepoet:
You know that the warning on McDonald's coffee cup was because an old lady ordered coffee in the drive through & placed the cup between her legs so that she could get the bag with the rest of her order. When she reached out of the car, her legs squeezed the cap off of her coffee spilling it all over her "old woman parts". Ended up suing McDonald's for millions. Hence now the warning. She claimed she didnt think the coffee would be that hot.<hr /></blockquote>Actually, the warning label was on the cups before the woman sued, it was part of McDonalds main line of defense. Secondly, the reason the woman won the lawsuit, was because they were able to determine that the coffee was actually much hotter than the limit for serving coffee. Apparetently the coffee maker malfunctioned and produced super hot coffee. If the woman had actually taken a drink of the coffee, it would have seared the lining of her mouth, throat, and stomach. That's why the woman won the lawsuit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
June 6th, 2002, 11:41 AM
jza734

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by davepoet:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Visgothy:
On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>As well as on McDonald's HOT Apple Pie, the box reads: "Caution, filling is hot".

You know that the warning on McDonald's coffee cup was because an old lady ordered coffee in the drive through & placed the cup between her legs so that she could get the bag with the rest of her order. When she reached out of the car, her legs squeezed the cap off of her coffee spilling it all over her "old woman parts". Ended up suing McDonald's for millions. Hence now the warning. She claimed she didnt think the coffee would be that hot.<hr /></blockquote>Don't forget the new ruling on mcdonald's french fries. Apparently they used beef flavouring in the fries, and they got sued by vegetarians, hindus, etc. And they won. Ridiculous, since it's just flavouring. We all know artificial flavouring is ARTIFICIAL. And what are hindu's doing eating at mcdonald's? Isn't that like the antichrist to someone who holds cows sacred? Sheesh :)
June 6th, 2002, 12:29 PM
Can't Catch Me

There's a KNOB in the SR always causing trouble...
June 7th, 2002, 01:29 PM
Ryuutsume

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by jza734:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by davepoet:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Visgothy:
On coffee cup from Tim Horton (donuts shop here in Canada) or at Mcdonald's :
Caution content very hot.

No kiding?! Coffee is made with real hot water for real?? Is this new??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>As well as on McDonald's HOT Apple Pie, the box reads: "Caution, filling is hot".

You know that the warning on McDonald's coffee cup was because an old lady ordered coffee in the drive through & placed the cup between her legs so that she could get the bag with the rest of her order. When she reached out of the car, her legs squeezed the cap off of her coffee spilling it all over her "old woman parts". Ended up suing McDonald's for millions. Hence now the warning. She claimed she didnt think the coffee would be that hot.<hr /></blockquote>Don't forget the new ruling on mcdonald's french fries. Apparently they used beef flavouring in the fries, and they got sued by vegetarians, hindus, etc. And they won. Ridiculous, since it's just flavouring. We all know artificial flavouring is ARTIFICIAL. And what are hindu's doing eating at mcdonald's? Isn't that like the antichrist to someone who holds cows sacred? Sheesh :) <hr /></blockquote>McDonalds = Save the cows campeign... I think... Do you HONESTLY think THAT is beef? lol.
June 8th, 2002, 10:26 PM
brewmandan

A couple of years ago at Sears, we were selling VCRs on sale for Christmas. On the box was a label that read, "free instructional video enclosed"....
Dan :confused:
June 9th, 2002, 09:17 AM
Bluff

i saw a label on the bottom of a motorbike that said "Do not eat"
June 9th, 2002, 03:08 PM
ClickHere2Surf.com

On a bottle of juice:
Instructions:
1. Open plastic cap
2. Poor juice
3. Reclose plastic cap
And there are even pictures that show you how to opne the cap and that you have to tilt the bottle for the juice to come out!

On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.

On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."

I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"
June 9th, 2002, 10:33 PM
FatalException0E

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ClickHere2Surf.com:

I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"<hr /></blockquote>How about the one that showed a car driving off a stage at a rock concert and crowd surfing? At the bottom of the ad it said....and I'm serious here:
"Only drive on roads, not on people"
June 15th, 2002, 10:39 PM
VertigoTech

Surprised no one mentioned the shampoo bottles
1. lather
2. rinse
3. repeat

Any programmers out there would get stuck in this endless loop
June 16th, 2002, 02:59 PM
jballon

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by VertigoTech:
Surprised no one mentioned the shampoo bottles
1. lather
2. rinse
3. repeat

Any programmers out there would get stuck in this endless loop<hr /></blockquote>The problem with this infinite loop is you would most likely would run out of system resources or RAM before you can turn off the water. Think we then may need a label to bottles of shampoo - High risk of drowning, if you are a programmer or engineer do not use this product.

Most programmers and engineers are already aware of the deadly dangerousness of shampoo and currently tend to avoid it as much as possible.

James Ballon

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