Please give me some advice

Mods, I put this in the lounge because I’d like some exposure, move it if you deem necessary.

Also, this is a long post ;)

Guys, gals, and monkey men, I have a problem, and need advice. In a couple months I will be graduating high school. I originally planned to go to college, but due to some circumstances that I will try to explain I am putting those plans on hold.

I was planning on attending a college that is a half hour drive away from me, and live at home. I don’t have a car, but was hoping that by the time September rolled around I would have saved enough to get one. I recently realized that I will not have enough money to both pay for college and get the car to go. Of course, I will be getting loans and my parents would help me too, but there’s more. My parents have decided that they are going to drive me to college each day. I threw a fit, and we got into an argument. I told them that I may have to take the year off, and they’re upset. When I told them this (on Friday) I was not serious, but I have thought about this all weekend, and I have changed my mind.

Well, this is my current plan, which I have come up with this weekend. I have decided that I need a year off, just for some “growing up time” and to make some money. I have a friend who is not going to college, and he offered to let me room with him in an apartment.

I will be getting a scrub job this summer somewhere nearby so my parents can cart me around to it (because I have no car). Then, I will use the money to get a car, and get an apartment with my friend. I hope to then get a better job.

I have another friend, a freshman in college who works at one of those technical schools during the summer. I can see if I could get a year job there when I get the car, and probably get the job. He got his summer job there as a junior in high school, and knows the people there (that’s how he got the job), so I’m pretty sure that I could get the job there.

Just for insurance, though, and to say I have it, I was thinking of getting a certification in something, I’m just not sure what. Insurance in case, God forbid, I am forced to work at a place like CompUSA.

So, there you have just about the whole story. I can’t keep living at home; I’m going to go crazy here if I stay. My parents don’t want me to live away at college because they are control freaks (which is why I’m going crazy here). I can’t swing a college tuition on my own because I haven’t got enough saved.

This is all why I want to move out for a year, to grow up, get some experience, and the such. I’m pretty made up on this. Now I just have to break the news to my parents.

Now, I mentioned that I want to get a cert. I want something that I can read a book and take, but that places will take seriously. I’d basically like to get a book at Barnes and Noble or Amazon and read it (I usually catch on quick) and then take the test so I can have another paper to show by the time I get my high school diploma.

So now I’m getting around to asking for advice…

First of all, what would everyone suggest as a cert to get, which I’d like to get, even if I end up going to college.
Second, what does everyone feel about my decision to take a year off? I know this is really my decision, and that some of you will tell me I’ll making a mistake if I take the year off. I want to know how many think I’m making a mistake, and please be honest.

My thanks to everyone for taking the time to read this, and thanks even more for your advice.

-Dave aka TrackMan

A+ is about the cheapest and quickest. Books can be had at both bookstores.

Is having a car that necessary in your area? I ask becuase in San Francisco, even though I have a car now, it is not really necessary considering buss' run every 15 mins, bart and caltrain, and cable cars and bikes, and since I live 5 mins from downtown, I can walk..

Remember, if your parent are control freaks, having them pay for college will not help...What about getting a dorm room so you don't have to buy the car...money would go for rent..or renting a house/apt near campus..?

My advice wouldnt really be worth too much, but here goes :

In Australia, if you are working in IT, college/university degrees dont count for much. Its more relevant to have industry experiance, and industry certifications, than be able to write a thesis on how computers effect our day to day life.

Mind you, this is coming from a guy that didnt finish highschool even.

I am at a point now, where I am trying to figure out what to do with myself. I have just turned 21, and Im starting to undertake some fun projects, none of which involve computing much, and Im wondering if there is another career path for me.

The best piece of advice I can offer, is dont beat yourself up over the choices you make now. Make the most of being young, virile, and able to enjoy yourself. Travel for a few years, do something that makes you happy, but realise that you have another 40 years of working life, then another 40 of semi-retired life after that. Make the most of things now my friend, its something Im just starting to realise.

[quote]Originally posted by Lycia:
<strong>A+ is about the cheapest and quickest. Books can be had at both bookstores.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Thanks, I'll look into it...

[quote]Originally posted by Lycia:
<strong>Is having a car that necessary in your area? I ask becuase in San Francisco, even though I have a car now, it is not really necessary considering buss' run every 15 mins, bart and caltrain, and cable cars and bikes, and since I live 5 mins from downtown, I can walk..

Remember, if your parent are control freaks, having them pay for college will not help...What about getting a dorm room so you don't have to buy the car...money would go for rent..or renting a house/apt near campus..?</strong><hr></blockquote>

I live in a suberb, and the colleges I applied to are 30 minutes away, and there are no bus lines there. I applied to two colleges in springfield mass, and the few busses in enfield only go to hartford.

Also, I'd love to live at college, it'd be cheaper and easier than having an apartment, but my parents are saying that it's a waste for me to live at college when it's a half hour drive. Since they're helping pay, what they say goes.

For some history, I've gone to a catholic high school (Cathedral) in springfield, and my parents have brought me there and picked me up every day, so it's not like any of us are unused to the commute. Both colleges are very close to Cathedral, one I can run to in a couple minutes (Springfield College) and the other is about 3 miles away (Western New England College).

The issue I have with them bringing me to college every day is that this is supposed to be a new chapter in my life, where I'm supposed to be more independant, and I can't stand to have them still bringing me around everywhere. If i have to rip me freedom out of their hands, I will. I'm sure everyone understands.

Man. First of all, Id have to say that your in one of the worst situations ever as a person of your age. Theres nothing worse than overbearing parents while your at college. Id never wish what your in on any other person.

But with that said, Id definately go with A+. And working at CompUSA isn't that bad. My freshman year in college I worked the floor, and then moved to the tech department, and the wages were great for spending money. With the money I saved, I was able to cruise through the rest of my college career with no outside work. I picked up a scholorship after getting Straight A's in my freshman year, and that was that.

If you really can't convince your folks to let you live on campus (requiring no car), then accept the drop offs and just work your *** off your first year. Then look into a scholorship. Maybe after kicking *** and taking names, your parents will let you move out, after showing your good responsibility. Convincing your parents to let you go like that is 250% easier when you have a perfect record in school.


Good luck.

Ask your parents what happened when they went to college? Did they get their first experience of standing on their own two feet, or did their parents "ensure their safety too" ?

If they stood on their own two feet, did they have some dastardly experience that they don't want to expose you to?

It doesn't matter if you are letting your child cross the road on their own for the first time or waving them goodbye for college - that step is very scary for a good parent. When that step is taken and how is coloured by what happened to the parent as a child.

Blowing them out the way is not the way to do it as a first choice. However, if you do suffer from overly concerned parents (and there are way too many out there) try to understand them and ask that they do the same for you. Perhaps a compromise like they drop you on a Monday morning and collect you on a Friday? They have to get used to the new situation as well as you.

As for taking a year out - yes it works for many and can put you in good stead for the future. Quite often it leads to an entire re-evaluation of future goals, which is no bad thing.

Just remember whichever way you decide, you are stuck with that decision for a year. Try and make you parents feel included in your decision process, but don't let them override it.

Speaking from someone who is now 31.
Things happen in life that you dont exspect. The time is now to do what needs to be done.
I didnt go to college after school. I dropped out of high school three months before I was to finish. STUPID. I went back and finished while I was pregnant with my son. I tried to start college but could not continue with classes because there was no one I could leave my son with. I wish I had someone kicking my butt when I was younger to go to school finish and become better then what I am today.
I missed out on a great job opportunity because I was young and not thinking about my future when I should have been.
Think long and hard about this one.
I love where am I am with my family. But I would like to have done more when I was younger to have helped when it comes to job time and car time and house time and bill time and providing for my sons future. Its all about the money. I have Love and Happiness. I dont care about the money. But its nice to have.

I've heard that it is very hard to go back to school after you've taken a year off.

Getting an apartment, life, and college are extremly difficult. You're looking at living expenses (which are a lot more expensive then you think, trust me, I know), along with the regular stuff, tuition, rent, insurance, car payments, etc...

Even if you still live at home, and work FT, is there a community college nearby that you can take some core courses though that can transfer to the new college? Courses like your math courses, English, etc...

Also, Springfield is a great place to go to college (so I've heard). Its not that bad of a city, and Boston is a quick train ride away (the Cambridge U. book store ("The Loft") is great), and Boston is just a great place to hang out.

Its a tough decision. Take a serious look at your options. Weigh them all out, and looking at your "5 year plan"...

Good luck with it.

my advice is to keep going now with your education....otherwise if you take a year off you take the big risk to bum out and lose the roll.....its better to get it over and done with now and then you have the rest of your life in front of you........I regret not continuing with my education then....its a short term answer to earn money now ....especially with education you can earn so much more later........

Sounds like you've hit the point in your life where you need some independance.

Tell you what, do what I did, kill three birds with one stone by getting independance, cheap transport and scaring your parents....

Buy a motorbike :D

What the???? Im a little surprised by a few of these posts... why regret what has been done? It doesnt get you anywhere at all. Consider maybe how different things might have turned out, if you hadnt made the choices you made. You may not have the families you have now, you may not be where you are today.

If I had finished my "education" I wouldnt be where I am now, and I doubt I would have half the real world education I have.

Dont regret a thing! Its not worth it. Make the most of the time you have, live life to its fullest, and be happy.

[quote]Originally posted by Draggar:
<strong>I've heard that it is very hard to go back to school after you've taken a year off.

Getting an apartment, life, and college are extremly difficult. You're looking at living expenses (which are a lot more expensive then you think, trust me, I know), along with the regular stuff, tuition, rent, insurance, car payments, etc...</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dragger is absolutely right. It's difficult if not damn near impossible to go back to school after settling into real world living.

Once you start paying those bills, they don't ever stop. And those bills have no sympathy for your situation. They are priority 1. That means that if you take a year off and get and apartment etc, then if you ever go back to school you are going to have to maintain the same income level while in school that you had when you weren't in school. It sounds easy, but it isn't. College (if taken seriously) is a full time job too. You'll have papers to write, projects to work on, and lots of chapters to read.

Take it from someone who just went back to school after taking 4 years off since graduating college. I'm working full time in the morning. 7-3 and then going to school from 6-10 in the evening every day but monday. Commute to school is about 45min each way. Which means that I get up at 6 to start my day, and finish at 11. There is no time for me to relax or play a game. If I couldn't surf and post from work and school, I wouldn't even have time to read windrivers. I constantly feel like I've been pushed through an old wringer washer. I'm always tired, and often grumpy. I know that the payoff will be great in two more years, but right now it sucks! I'd love to just be in school right now and only working part time, but we depend on my income to help pay the mortgage, car payments, utilities, cable, phone etc. Any sort of cut in hours or pay, would kill us financially. Like I said, those bills have no sympathy. They keep coming no matter what.

I think you ought to go to school, try to work something out with your parents. Discuss the situation with them like and adult, and hopefully they'll see you as such and you come to some sort of compromise that will work for everyone involved.

Good Luck

I'm currently in a situation where i took a few years off after highschool and i'm trying to get back into the school thing. It's kinda working out, The bill get paid, i eat and i can have fun from time to time.. if you KNOW what you want to do in life, then don't take time off, get college done and out of the way, if your parents will drop you off, then accept it. If they help pay for it, accept it. in college you need ALL the help you can get.

Now if you UNSURE of what you want to do, then take a year or two to float around from job to job, smapling the different fields to find what you enjoy, once you have that down pat, look for a college that offers a quality course in order to pursue.

Around here, Certs are nice, but unless you have experience, people consider them to be "Paper" certs..(yesterday, i had a "Computer consultant" AND a "network admin" try to tell me that "Media disconnected" on win2k means the gateway is down...talk about paper).

If your wondering, I took a little programming, did 2 years bench work and i'm currently working on a networking diploma with CCNA Acadamy program rolled into it. Oh, My part time job is helpdesk for an ISP.

Well bud, ya kinda lucked out on this one. I was in the exact situation you are right now 1.5 semesters ago.

1) Try to reduce your dependance on your parents paying for college - Nowadays, scholarships are EASY to get, trust me. You don't have to be hardcore academic to get them and one thing that you really should remember is that you can get many of them if you can qualify. $300-$500 scholarships add up quickly. I'll try to rustle up a few websites in the next few days that will help you find a few. Besides that, it's very CYA to do this now; the last thing you want is to piss off mom & pop and have them cut you off.

2) College and job do not mix well - Several people I knew from high school are doing this and some more are doing straight college like myself. Straight college is about .75 higher GPA on average. If you are serious about college, you will be doing more work than you can imagine right now. Besides, your first semester will be so overwhelming that you really don't want any distractions.

3) Try to reason with your parents - I don't know how old you are, but I'll assume you are 18 or about to turn 18. You are an adult. It may not feel like it but realize it and talk to them from that viewpoint.

[quote]Originally posted by jaeger:
<strong>You are an adult.</strong><hr></blockquote>

Physically or socially?

Im 21, and I still dont think Im fully qualified to call myself an adult, and hell, hopefully I never will be.

When you turn 18, you dont magically gain some box full of worldly knowledge, and still have a hell of a lot of growing to do, as a person. I cant condone teling someone "your 18, you have every right in the world", because its just setting them up for one hell of a rough ride.

My 0.2c.

[quote]Originally posted by EvilCabbage:
<strong>

Physically or socially?

Im 21, and I still dont think Im fully qualified to call myself an adult, and hell, hopefully I never will be.

When you turn 18, you dont magically gain some box full of worldly knowledge, and still have a hell of a lot of growing to do, as a person. I cant condone teling someone "your 18, you have every right in the world", because its just setting them up for one hell of a rough ride.

My 0.2c.</strong><hr></blockquote>

But then, you only learn by making your own mistakes.

I don't think you'll earn as much as you want in your year out unless you get a good job (all previous posts about bills), if you get a good job with prospects, then you don't need college/university as you'll get the training at work.

My brother took a year out while at university, in that year he worked 18 hours a day and managed to clear all his debts before returning for his last year. He said it was hard to get back into the whole education process.

I can understand your situation and the tension between you and your parents, don't forget, they are trying to do their best to see that you do your best. One of my friends spent 4 years at university while living with his parents (in very difficult circumstances), he attained excellent grades, (his parents kept pushing him), he now has a good job and admits that if he had been living on his own he would never have done so well, too much temptation with the beer and the ladies. He complained bitterly about the whole situation at the time though.

I was somewhat in your position when I had graduated. I started out thinking, Ill take a year off, I have been going to school for 13 years (including kindergarten :D :D ) and I deserve a break. Well one year turned into about 5 years, and it was very difficult as I didnt go back until after I was married. So I went to night school and worked 2 jobs, to pay the bills. Luckily I finnally did graduate, but it would have been much easier and quicker if I had not decided to take "one year off" and while I still had the option of my parents paying for my schooling. So my advice, go ahead and get the school out of the way, work out your problems with transportation. Why not go to school, get a part time job which and get a car with the money earned from that? Sure you probably wont be able to get a brand new sports car, but at least you could have your own ride. As for certifications, I agree, start out with A+, its simple (when compared to the rest of the certies)and it holds some value to some companies. Good luck, and let us know what you decide...

You've received a lot of good advice, and a lot of the experiences you're hearing about are valuable. And my .02 is based on having an educational career stalled for two years by the military...and then since that time, getting three degrees over the span of fifteen years.

Remember first, as a general rule of thumb, "degrees are meaningless in determining knowledge, but invaluable when trying to get hired!"

I believe it's true that it's best to get into a degree asap [especially if you know you want college], and do anything you can to give yourself as much time to study as possible.

Seems to me that you should list pros and cons of your current situation, and make the best decision you can, knowing that things are rarely perfectly aligned for you do to exactly what you want. You have to determine, based on your character, what you can compromise on to get to your goal.

If you're the type [and you should know this about yourself] that wants the degree badly enough, sitting out a year is commonly done, and successfully by a lot of people. Some, however, do get caught up in the vicious "making enough money to survive, but not enough to ever get out of it again" thing.

Last two ideas. First, my guess about parent's human nature tells me that they'd quickly get tired of driving you a couple of hours a day, and will relent on that quite quickly. Just a guess, though. [And, to tell you the truth, I think using the threat of withholding college funds if you earn your own transportation is not only unfair, but depriving you of an adult rite of passage, and actually depriving you of a "tool" to help get your education in the first place!]

My first degree was as a starving GI Bill student, at Mizzou, barely able to buy groceries,no car, but small enough town to walk everywhere...it worked out great, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

Lastly, if you do happen to sit out for a year to get some funds together, it'll get you out of the parental support arena, and may make your scholarship/grant/loan situation much better for you. [Check with financial aid couselors on how to make the best decisions!] When you go to school, go to school, apply for every grant you can, and take out any loan you need to study full time.

I firmly believe an education is worth any sacrifice. Both personally and professionally.

Be aware that taking a year off from school may mean that you'll never go to school. Yeah, you tell yourself that you'll only take a year, but once the money starts flowing, no matter how lousy it is, you'll want it to keep coming. If not going to school is an acceptable result, then by all means get a job and make some money. If going to school means a lot to you and you still want to work for awhile first, then mark a calendar or otherwise make that the goal of the job, reminding yourself daily that the job is only temporary.

You have to set goals and continue to head toward them, even though you'll be tempted to turn to the right or left along the way. You'll meet this great girl or have a chance at a better job or...you get the picture.

That's my advice... :)

It is not unrealistic to pay for school and have a car too, definetely if your parents are going to help.

I started working when I was 15 and saved up to buy my first car (1000.00 Ford Tempo :) ) continued saving to buy my 1994 Ford Ranger for 4,500 (sold the tempo) and just this past Christmas I bought my 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. I am not trying to brag here just trying to make a point. I am not sure of what kind of car you are wanting. If you are wanting a 2002 Mercury Cougar or a cavalier or something of that sort, look at something you can afford to buy without going into debt. DEBT = BAD

You got til when, August to save for a car. I don't know how much you make a week. But don't spend money on anything like the latest computer gadgets (which is hard to not do, i know, I bought a CDRW, RIO MP3 PLAYER, PALM PILOT, NEW COMPUTER, MONITOR, etc within a couple months time) anyways, just save your money for the summer and buy something at the beginning of august.

If you make 100.00 a week then that is 16 weeks or 1600 bucks. and if you make 150 then that is 2400.00 GRANTED YOU DONT SPEND ANY.

/end rant

just make smart choices with your money and you can have your car and eat it too. :)

[quote]Originally posted by dir:
<strong>It is not unrealistic to pay for school and have a car too, definetely if your parents are going to help.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

exactly. And like I said before, its not that hard to get a partial or even full scholorship after your first year of straight A's. Then It would be even easier.

I like a lot of the advice given here.
My personal opinion(which is only mine) is that having the college degree is worth much more that a couple of certifications. I understand that here on this board we are all techs or into technology, but in the business world a degree carries so much more weight when talking to HR. A degree will allow further advancement opportunities, and will open many other doors. Even if decide to leave the IT world, the fact that you have a degree will help keep doors open, and your resume out of the trash can.
So what if you have to ride with you parents for a while. It actually might be a blessing, get the first year over with, with good grades. Then look at moving out, or whatever. So many people screw up that first year due to partying and so on, if you can get past there, with good grades and some scholarships, you will be golden.

That is my opinion at least, I just know that the fact that I had a degree has carried me many times, hell it's in History and Political Science of all things. Then again, I do wish I spent a little time off, I went to college 2 days after I graduated high school.

Thanks for the advice everyone, you've given me a lot to think about.

I had a talk with my mother while she was driving me home from high school. I mentioned that I was thinking of taking the A+ exam to help my chances of getting a better job this summer. We started talking and she mentioned the idea of maybe going to a microsoft certified tech school that's in hartford, which is a 30 hour drive south from enfield (versus springfield being to the north) I told her this may be an option.

I still haven't mentioned to either parent about wanting to move out :( That will be tough.

So I'm still undecided. The college acceptences haven't come back yet so I still have to see what happens.

Also, I was thinking of getting this book to study for the A+, what does everyone think of it?
A+ Certification DVD CertTrainer
Published by Global Knowledge Certification Press

[quote]Originally posted by TrackMan:
<strong>hartford, which is a 30 hour drive south from enfield</strong><hr></blockquote>

Wow! I didn't realize CT was such a huge state! It must have changed a bunch since I was last there 4 years ago..... :D

[quote]Originally posted by TrackMan:
<strong>Also, I was thinking of getting this book to study for the A+, what does everyone think of it?
A+ Certification DVD CertTrainer
Published by Global Knowledge Certification Press</strong><hr></blockquote>

I'm using Mike Meyers' book, it ain't cheap (£40-odd) but it's good.

Maybe a degree isn't the best qualification for the field you want to go into, or maybe its overkill (like mine), look around at all the opportunites.

I don't do regrets, but I often look at people who didn't go on to university who are now doing the sort of jobs I will probably end up doing, and have been being paid for it for the two years I've spent running up debt.