"I'm computer illiterate."

Is it just me?
I gotta tell you guys/gals, whenever I hear someone say that to me, I just want to stuff
a dish towel in their mouth and suffocate them!
This is the grand, overused excuse for laziness and a general apathy for learning that the luseriest of lusers use every day.

me: "OK, now I need to know that you understand that when you get your machine back, you will need to re-load all software... (minus the Mcaffe Nuts and Bolts and the Bonzi Buddy this time you chump)"
them: "slow down there, cheif, I'm computer illiterate. Can you say that in English?"
what I hear "I'm a lazy piece of filth that contributes nothing to society with no desire whatsoever to allow new knowledge to infiltrate my melon-shaped head. Could you please talk to me like I'm five years old? My skull, which is full of full of methane gas and nothing more, resonates annoyingly when words of two or more syllables are combined in what you call "sentences". Also, when I get home, I will probably call you with foolish questions that relate to the peripherals I have not told you about yet, because I can not think for myself."

"I'm computer illiterate" [/i]The Great Excuse...[/i] I just grind my teeth everytime I hear I; otherwise I would correct them and say, "Actually, you are just lazy."

Am I the only one who wishes he could whip out the Flak Cannon when he hears this phrase trickle from the lips of some insipid user? They don't even want to TRY! WTF is wrong with these people?

i have to t/s crap for people over the phone when the say im not sure i can do this im not computer literate, or i dont know anything about computers.

i always say. dont worry about it, its a piece of cake anyone can do it.

or

if they are being jerks and dont want to t/s i say, its not rocket science its easy and i walk through everything.

after tell people this they tend to want to trouble shoot for they wont look dumb.

:D

In my book, it's better than those people that think they know everything about computers and know less than the people that say they are "Computer illiterate."

Me: "Sir, do you know how to load this software yourself, or would you like me to stay an extra minute and do it for you?"

Them: "No, just as soon as I get that them there Gigabytes restored in my modem cache and degaus my mouse I think I'll be ready to install it through the USB port pending that my hard drive can dial out to the Intranet over a Telnet ATDT port."

Me: "Okay, I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow."
What I really mean: "I know your fat @$$ is going to call me tomorrow because your wife won't be able to get on the internet because the computer will be gone and she thinks it's just the monitor she uses, your daughter will be crying because you got so pissed off you broke her reader rabbit cd and your cat will be missing yet there will be some strange fur being emitted from your power supply fan all just because you wouldn't let me install a shareware version of 1001 windows games for you :D "

I once had a man return a scanner because "when I scan a picture, no matter where I place it on the scanner it alwaysputs it in the upper left corner when it scans. I want one that will put it in the center of the page."

I tried for ten minutes to explain to him that they all put the scan in the upper left by default, but by using the editing software that comes with them, you can print the picture anywhere on the page you like. Just read the help file in the software and it will explain just how to do that.

His reply was: "I don't want to have to LEARN anything, I just want it to do it."

I gave him his money back.

I think I'm with Aplus on that one. I'd rather hear a costumer tell me they are "computer illiterate" then tell me how they have a degree in computers and bla bla bla, and then when I finally get them to STFU and tell me what the problem is:

them: "my modem doesn't work"
me: "well, what message do you get when you try to sign on the internet"
them: "what are you talking about, I get an illegal operation message when I try to use xyz program."
me: "and are you sure you have a "degree in computers"
them: gets pissed and starts cursing at me because they don't know crap about computers, but they are supposed have a degree in computers. :mad:

Exactly. I'm so glad some of you share my feelings about this. *MAYHEM*'s customer nailed
it perfectly.

"I don't want to learn anything." <h2>TYPICAL!</h2>
I wish I had a trap door in front of my little tech window. Then I could just hit the switch on my panel like Dr. Evil and dispose of those who are unwilling to learn. (Or at least LISTEN.(

My g/f, who doesn't know much about computers, told me the other day that she is learning more and more about computers by listening to me. I thought that was kinda funny. Atleast my words aren't falling upon deaf ears. :D

I would explain stuff to any "computer illiterate" person who wants to learn-- but for someone who couldn't be arsed about it, forget em.

So make sure you know the difference between a computer-illiterate person who wants to learn, and one who doesn't care. Both my parents are "computer illiterate" but one wants to learn and the other doesn't give a damn.

Must be nice... my mother realizes she won't know as much as I do about computers and doesn't want to know that much. She's content with what she knows, and what she doesn't know, she will ask me to teach her. My step father, on the otherhand, is convinced that you just wake up one day with all the knowledge and you're ready to go out and be a sys admin. :D Atleast that's the only way he's convinced he'll learn.

Its the same with anything though, people come to us because we have been dedicated enough to sit down and learn about all this stuff. Those people who don't appreciate that fact are usually the ones who aren't worth wasting time trying to educate. It's easier to teach something to someone who wants to learn. All the rest of them are keeping me employed, and putting food on the table so I suppose the world needs a balance of dumb, ignorant people, and smart, intelligent people. How would the world be if everyone wanted to learn everything so they wouldn't have to rely on others? You live and learn in life, and those that don't learn aren't really living :D

I think that some people are lazy and can't be bothered but others really cannot learn this stuff. There seems to be black out words that cause the brain to shut down, maybe due to sudden voltage overload. I know that some subjects do that to people, when the person has finished explaining something, it's like waking from a long sleep and they know nothing, nor are they able to remember what was said. A lot of women suffer from this with car mechanics and men suffer the same with knitting/childcare/housework/cooking etc.

[quote]Who am I? 2 4 6 0 1!
<hr></blockquote>

yes! les miserables, the greatest musical ever.

[quote]Originally posted by *MAYHEM*:
<strong>His reply was: "I don't want to have to LEARN anything, I just want it to do it."</strong><hr></blockquote>

Well then, sir, since you don't want to learn how to leave my store, allow me to kick your sorry butt outta here so it saves you from learning how to walk and open a door!

[quote]Originally posted by Darksteel:
<strong>

yes! les miserables, the greatest musical ever.</strong><hr></blockquote>

At the end of the day, you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about, what is it for?
One day less to be living.

Actually I have to rank it as my third favourite, my favourites so far being "Once More With Feeling" (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. :D

AMEN, BRUTHA!

[RANT ON]

I've got Senior VP's in my company that make 3x my salary but can't figure out how to detach and unzip a compressed attachment. Even after I sit down and painstaking write down extremely simple instructions, they still manage to f*** it up. Before my tech days I was a corporate trainer. I learned how to document procedures on a 9th grade reading level. AND THAT'S STILL NOT SIMPLE ENOUGH.

I think the phrase "I'm computer illiterate" is a cop-out and a bad cover up for laziness and lack of proper motivation. The good part is that many companies are not longer accepting that as a valid excuse. They are spending millions of dollars to offer good technology training to their folks and if the employees don't take advantage of it, then it's SIANORAH for them.

Unfortunately I work in the banking industry which is run by a bunch of good-ol-boys who place a higher priority on tenure and loyalty rather than actual job skills and productivity. As long as they run the show, phrases like "I'm computer illiterate" will continue to pass (I actually heard our CEO say that once).

[RANT OFF]

No patientce... thats whats wrong with the world to day.
Motto for the IT industry:
BIGGER, faster, more, NOW!

have you ever noticed how offended they get when u treat them like 2yr olds :)

thats my fav. for when they piss me off...
and the language u here... well lets just say i cant even reach half the level they do ;)

I have a guy I support that works in Texas so it's all over the phone. Once a month he calls in and complains that something just won't work (blames me for it). Then when I try and talk him through it he starts going off on how he has two brain cells left and the one is out looking for the other. So I begin to dumb down the instructions since I want him to do this one his own eventually or atleast start writing down the error message. And once that happens he gets all kinds of pissed off. About how I'm patronizing him and about how I have and attitude problem. I just can't stand this cat.

Has anyone tried to walk a customer over the phone through the case? When I ask one if they are willing to go inside the case they act like you are asking them to perform G.D. brain surgery or something. They start freaking out.. I got to get off the phones and start doing hands on because my head is starting to bruise from beating my head on my desk so much from getting people like this!!! http://www.plaudersmilies.de/2up.gif

I've got hugs for everyone