I proclaim "SPACE BALLS" the funniest movie of all time

DHelmet: Careful you idiot. I said across her nose not up it.
GUNNER: Sorry sir. Doing my best.
DHelmet: Who made that man a gunner?
MAJOR: I did sir. He's my cousin.
DHelmet: Who is he?
COLONEL S.: He's an ******* sir.
DHelmet: I know that... whats his name?
COLONEL S.: That is his name sir, *******, Major *******.
DHelmet: And his cousin?
COLONEL S.: He's an ******* too sir: Gunner's mate, first class, Phillip *******.
DHelemt: How many *******s we got on this ship anyhow?
THE CREW: YO!!!!
DHelmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by *******s(pulls facemask down) Keep firing *******s!!!

---------------------------
DHelmet: Say goodbye to your two best friends and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago
---------------------------

JULES
Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right
there. Eatin' a bitch out, and
givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't
even the same ****in' thing.

VINCENT
Not the same thing, the same
ballpark.

JULES
It ain't no ballpark either. Look
maybe your method of massage
differs from mine, but touchin' his
lady's feet, and stickin' your
tongue in her holyiest of holyies,
ain't the same ballpark, ain't the
same league, ain't even the same
****in' sport. Foot massages don't
mean ****.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a foot massage?

JULES
Don't be tellin' me about foot
massages -- I'm the ****in' foot
master.

VINCENT
Given a lot of 'em?

JULES
**** yeah. I got my technique down
man, I don't tickle or nothin'.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a guy a foot
massage?

Jules looks at him a long moment -- he's been set up.

JULES
**** you.

He starts walking down the hall. Vincent, smiling, walks a
little bit behind.

VINCENT
How many?

JULES
**** you.

VINCENT
Would you give me a foot massage --
I'm kinda tired.

Come on can anyone think of a movie with more great lines like that ??

Great movie but I just don't think it has the volume....

RICO: Colonel Sandurz.
SANDURZ: What is it, Sergeant Rico?
RICO: You told me to let you know the moment Planet Druidia was in sight, sir.
SANDURZ: So.
RICO: Planet Druidia is in sight, sir.
SANDURZ: You're really a Spaceball. You know that, don't you?
RICO: Thanks, sir.
---------------------------------------
RADAR TECH.: I'm having trouble with the radar, sir.
HELMET: What's wrong with it?
RADAR TECH.: I've lost the bleeps, I've the lost the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.
HELMET: The what?
SANDURZ: The what?
HELMET: And the what?
RADAR TECH.: You know. The bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps.
HELMET: That's not all he's lost.
RADAR TECH.: Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be... jammed.
HELMET: Jammed? Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!
-------------------------------------
SANDURZ: Sir.
HELMET: What?
SANDURZ: Are we being too literal.
HELMET: No, you fool. We're following orders. We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it. Found anything yet?
TROOPER WITH COMB: Nothing yet, sir.
HELMET: How about you?
TROOPER WITH 2ND COMB: Not a thing, sir.
HELMET: What about you guys?
TROOPER WITH MINI COMB: We ain't found ****.

Pulp Fiction is awesome, not really comparable to Spaceballs though. Kinda that apples and oranges thing.

Spaceballs is a hoot.

"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Major Kong

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!

---

OH now thats a close one....OH now thats a close one....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Major Kong

Run away

Bring out your dead.

Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
'Tis but a scratch.
A scratch?! Your arm's off.
No it isn't.
Then what's that then.
I've had worse.
Have at you!
You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Oh, had enough, aye?
Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Yes I have.
Look!
Just a flesh wound.
Right, I'll do you for that.
You'll what?
Come here.
What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
I'm invincible!
You're a loony.

You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!

---

Monty Python, now that's funny ! :grin:

SANDURZ: It's Mega Maid. She gone from suck to blow.
----------------------------------------
HELMET: So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
----------------------------------------
SHIP'S VOICE: Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six...
SKROOB: Six? What happened to seven?
SHIP'S VOICE: Just kidding.

OK, now you've gone and brought up what is literally the holy grail of comedies!

"Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty girl. And she must pay her penalty. And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the Grail Shaped Beacon. You must tie her down on a bed, and spank her!"
"A spanking, a spanking!"
"You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then... spank me."
"And spank me!"
"And me!"
"And me!"
"Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"
"A spanking, a spanking, a spanking!"
"And after the spanking, the oral sex!"
"Oooh! A spanking!"
"Well, I could stay a bit longer."

"Shut up, will you. Shut up!"
"Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system."
"Shut up!"
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!"
"Bloody peasant!"

All I have to say is ... Ni!

I always liked Blazing Saddles more then Spaceballs.

And crap on a stick if Holy Grail isn't the most played out quoted comedy ever, good movie but crap

Not a movie but this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/space...one/index.html

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cleetus

I always liked Blazing Saddles more then Spaceballs.

And crap on a stick if Holy Grail isn't the most played out quoted comedy ever, good movie but crap

---

The Holy Grail is the most played out quoted comedy ever because it is the most funniest! Silly Cleetus. I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall be forced to taunt you a second time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by silencio

Not a movie but this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/space...one/index.html

---

Yep space ghost Rocks.. it cracks me up

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Escape_Driver

Come on can anyone think of a movie with more great lines like that ??

---

Since Radical Dreamer is not here right now, I will have to say it. ANY KEVIN SMITH MOVIE (except jersey girl).

I also think kingpin is up there, but I can only think of one line (it still haunts me)

The old, nasty landlord: "What is it about good sex that makes me want to crap?" :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke: :uke:

Mel Brooks is a genious. Did you know that he (his company) produced The Elephant Man?

Nielsen: "This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
Hagerty: "A Hospital? What is it?"
Nielsen: "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

Hagerty: "There's been a little problem in the cockpit."
Hays: "The cockpit? What is it?"
Hagerty: "It's a little room in the front of the plane, where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."

Hays: "It's an entirely different kinda flying, altogether."
All together: "It's an entirely different kinda flying."

Hays:"Surely you can't be serious?"
Nielsen: "I am serious and don't call me Shirley."

Nielsen: "Captain, how soon can you land?
Graves: "I can't tell."
Nielsen: "You can tell me, I'm a doctor."
Graves: "No, I mean I'm just not sure."
Nielsen: "Well, can't you take a guess?"
Graves: "Well, not for another two hours."
Nielsen: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cleetus

I always liked Blazing Saddles more then Spaceballs.

---

Definitely! That movie has more good comedy dialog and sight gags in it than any three other movies. Who could ever forget:

Sheriff Bart, to assembled townfolk:
"Can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?"
Howard Johnson:
"I don't care if it's the first act of Henry VIII! We're leaving!"

Taggart:
"I got it! I know how we can run everybody out of Rock Ridge...We'll kill the firstborn male child of every household."
Hedley Lamarr:
"Too Jewish."

Sheriff Bart, on podium, in front of townfolk:
"Excuse me while I whip this thing out."
(Reaches into front of pants, townfolk gasp and step back)
(Pulls out parchment from Governor)
(Crowd exhales in relief)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by silencio

Not a movie but this is the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/space...one/index.html

---

I may have seen Adult Swim once or twice.

-------------------------------

Master Shake - Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to get YOU to buy useless appliances and pastes.

Meatwad - I don't know how you'd know. You ain't got no teeth.

Master Shake - Well I got rid of my teeth at an early age because.....I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why faries come and take them away.

I saw meat wad.... That show is 2 floors short of a 12 Story building... I love it. LOL

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Escape_Driver

I saw meat wad.... That show is 2 floors short of a 12 Story building... I love it. LOL

---

Total Re-Carl is my favorite episode.

I guess they stopped making 'em?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hudsonsmith

Nielsen: "This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
Hagerty: "A Hospital? What is it?"
Nielsen: "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

Hagerty: "There's been a little problem in the cockpit."
Hays: "The cockpit? What is it?"
Hagerty: "It's a little room in the front of the plane, where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."

Hays: "It's an entirely different kinda flying, altogether."
All together: "It's an entirely different kinda flying."

Hays:"Surely you can't be serious?"
Nielsen: "I am serious and don't call me Shirley."

Nielsen: "Captain, how soon can you land?
Graves: "I can't tell."
Nielsen: "You can tell me, I'm a doctor."
Graves: "No, I mean I'm just not sure."
Nielsen: "Well, can't you take a guess?"
Graves: "Well, not for another two hours."
Nielsen: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"

---

Airplane! tis a good one. (zucker and zucker)

But I liked TOP SECRET more,

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Darkstar

Total Re-Carl is my favorite episode.

I guess they stopped making 'em?

---

No. The season's just over.

Can you get meatwad on line ?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by meatwad

I may have seen Adult Swim once or twice.

-------------------------------

Master Shake - Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to get YOU to buy useless appliances and pastes.

Meatwad - I don't know how you'd know. You ain't got no teeth.

Master Shake - Well I got rid of my teeth at an early age because.....I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why faries come and take them away.

---

I wouldn't have guessed that. ;)

Sealab 2021 has had some interesting scripts.. Real Baby Back Ribs!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by silencio

I wouldn't have guessed that. ;)

Sealab 2021 has had some interesting scripts.. Real Baby Back Ribs!

---

I am the BarbotBot! And I will defeat evil with my D cups of Justice!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Escape_Driver

Can you get meatwad on line ?

---

What do you mean?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by meatwad

I am the BarbotBot! And I will defeat evil with my D cups of Justice!

---

I want two vaginas!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by silencio

I want two vaginas!

---

Sparks: Sir! Sonar is picking up a giant squid!
Murphy: Where?
Sparks: Right there sir!
Murphy: I don't see it!
Marco: It's the giant, squid shaped blip, sir.
Murphy: A, with all of the little tentacle shaped things?
Marco: Si Capitan!
Murphy: Still don't see it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by meatwad

What do you mean?

---

Is there a place to download the episodes. I don't get alot of these in Canada.
Legally I wouldn't want to deal with the D cups of Justice. Wait I just might like to deal with them :devil:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Escape_Driver

Is there a place to download the episodes. I don't get alot of these in Canada.
Legally I wouldn't want to deal with the D cups of Justice. Wait I just might like to deal with them :devil:

---

The show is called Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The DVDs are available at a bunch of stores and off of the cartoon network website. They also have Space Ghost DVDs.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by meatwad

The show is called Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The DVDs are available at a bunch of stores and off of the cartoon network website. They also have Space Ghost DVDs.

---

Thanks man... OR meat ???

Did the Space Winnebago, Eagle 5, have a "nickname"?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ya_know

JULES
Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right
there. Eatin' a bitch out, and
givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't
even the same ****in' thing.

VINCENT
Not the same thing, the same
ballpark.

JULES
It ain't no ballpark either. Look
maybe your method of massage
differs from mine, but touchin' his
lady's feet, and stickin' your
tongue in her holyiest of holyies,
ain't the same ballpark, ain't the
same league, ain't even the same
****in' sport. Foot massages don't
mean ****.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a foot massage?

JULES
Don't be tellin' me about foot
massages -- I'm the ****in' foot
master.

VINCENT
Given a lot of 'em?

JULES
**** yeah. I got my technique down
man, I don't tickle or nothin'.

VINCENT
Have you ever given a guy a foot
massage?

Jules looks at him a long moment -- he's been set up.

JULES
**** you.

He starts walking down the hall. Vincent, smiling, walks a
little bit behind.

VINCENT
How many?

JULES
**** you.

VINCENT
Would you give me a foot massage --
I'm kinda tired.

---

UHF:

Kuni: And today we start with our current champion, Phylis Weaver. Weaver comme and spin the Wheel Of Fish!

<Phylis spins>

Kuni: Arrr Red Snapper, very tastey. So, Do you take the Red Snapper, or what ever's in the box that Hero'san is bringing down the steps?

Wearver: Errrr, Errrr, the box, I'll take the box!.

Kuni: Let's find out what's in the box!

Hero'San lifts the box to find nothing in it.

Kuni: "Nothing! - Nothing is in the Box!", he turns to Weaver, "STUPID, YOU'RE SO STUPID"

I gotta go with a tie, Animal House and Holy Grail...

"Seven years of college down the drain"

"What? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until WE decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"... " Germans?" " Forget it, he's rolling"

" May I have ten thousand marbles please?"

and the funniest lines of all time " Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" and "Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government"