You're not going to believe this:

I will be a "temporary" parent of three girls starting tomorrow.
Wish me luck...no, better yet, say a prayer for me.https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif

Some of you know that I've mentioned my ex coming here during the hurricane. The one with the three children. Right? Well, tomorrow they will be in my temporary custody. My ex, the mom, has been screwing up as usual, so, instead of the childrens authoritiy taking them, I will go get them tomorrow and gain temporary custody. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Better that than foster homes though. So, I will have to sacrifice again. But they are worth it. They are 10, 6, and 4 year old girls. They call me Dad. The six year old knows me as her daddy, even though she knows I am not. The ten year old says I am the "best daddy" she ever had. That's enough to make any heart melt. The four year old, I just found out last week, is my own little girl. Yeah, I am now a father!! https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Damn, life can change completely in no time at all....
I have no idea what I'll do about my business, or how this will all turn out (I am quite worried, btw). But I do know one thing: I don't know what the hell I am doing....https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
But, hopefully, we'll be alright. And, any advice would be helpful.
Thanks. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif

Nanny 911 :thumbs:

Daddy Day Care.... :D

Seriously, if they are all at school then for the most part you will just be cutting your working out of the office hours down.

If you are used to rushing off at the drop of a hat to do paid work, then you will be only doing that when they are at school.

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

The children already see you in one light, but I suspect the working side of you will modify that view of you... it's a balancing act, but doable.

:thumbs: Congrats Trip. Hope it all works out.

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Originally Posted by NooNoo

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

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Well, I agree with the toys and games....but I disagree on the DVD's (at least partially). Too many times the tube is used as an electronic babysitter.

Trip is a daddy!!! :thumbs:
http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/...f_child051.gif

There is nothing I can do to prepare you, I really just wanted to congratulate you! :thumbs2:

It’s important you realize that it's not noble what you are doing, taking these girls in. It’s the only option you have, and I am proud of you for stepping up. You’re ex- has dropped the ball, and now you have to pick it up. One thing NooNoo pointed out that I think it is important to remind you, in time you won’t be the coolest dad, but you will be one hell of a great father. The girls will love you, but as they learn to follow your rules it will be a change of seasons. Don’t let that sway you, these girls are depending on you to raise them now, and it’s important that you be a friend, but most important you must guide them and teach them, and when necessary discipline them. You are not just a father figure anymore, you are a father.

One piece of advice Chris Rock gives in one of his standup routines. If you’re girl becomes a stripper, you f~(ked up. If she makes her livin’ on the poll, you let her down. Now it’s funny when he says it, but the reality is that a father is the most important male bond a young girl has to model after the men in her life as she grows older. They needs to learn to respect themselves, and not take sh!t from some punk because they are comfortable with being let down by their old man all the time. They all need to feel special, and have an independent bond with you, and they will grow to be respectable young ladies.

Good luck Trip! :thumbs:

Welcome to my world. I've got 10, 8 and 4 year old girls. My recommendation - be firm. Establish rules and boundaries and maintain them. If you apply the rules consistently and fairly they will come to respect them. If they think they can get away with breaking them they will walk all over you. You will do better if you are patient and don't have to resort to yelling (something I have difficulty with).

WOW!!! Sounds like you are in for a bit of a lifestyle change. :thumbs: You'll do great.....it'll be a learning experience on both sides!

Best of luck.....Hope this means that even if things get straightened out and she takes em back that you get to remain part of their lives...specially the 4 yo that you found out is yours.....the neatest thing I've ever done is be a mom....You'll make a great father! Congrats!

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Originally Posted by paraflyer

Well, I agree with the toys and games....but I disagree on the DVD's (at least partially). Too many times the tube is used as an electronic babysitter.

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I agree. Cartoons are good in moderation and can even be educational (I love Stanley on the Disney channel), but too often parents put the kids in front of the TV when they do not want to deal with them. While parents do need breaks, many parents take too many. My wife and I have found that when our daughters are acting up the most, it is because we are not giving them enough attention.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NooNoo

Daddy Day Care.... :D

Trip, welcome to my world!! Grab yourself a reliable childminder/day care place and a bunch of childrens toys, games and dvds.

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Is that an offer Noo? https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Plenty of great advice here folks. Thanks bunches. I may just print this out and hang it on the wall.
As far as TV goes, I agree Para. That is exactly what she did all the time. The 10 year old has a learning disability and is addicted to tv as well. That is certainly going to change.
btw, they do respect me as more than just a great dad, they actually listen to me when I get tough. So, yeah, it will be a balancing act like none I've ever tried before.
Damn, where is confus-ed when I need him.
Thanks again folks, and really nice speech Ya_know. You must be a truly good daddy, and unlike the persona you portray here, I always knew you were a big pussycat. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gifhttps://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif

Time to crib up on the latest bedtime stories Trip :thumbs:
I hope you enjoy the limited time you have with them to the full isnt life strange throwing such a curve ball your way :D

BTW Dont mess with teddy :D:D

I have two girls at home, 8 and 3. Don't be afraid to sit in the floor and let them have-at you. Great quality time can come out of little girls brushing your hair. Beating your shoulders with a brush makes for a great massage and clear polish on the toenails never hurt anyone.

Also, save shoe boxes for the hair stuff. There's gonna be plenty of hair bows and bands and stuff whether it's 6 weeks or 6 months.

Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Wagara

clear polish on the toenails never hurt anyone.

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I have 3 little girls at home, my toenails are currently painted purple (*shhh*)

You seem to realize fully that your life is no longer your own and that takes a different kind of courage for which I salute you.

And I'm not even talking about the possibility of this "temporary" thing becoming permanent. They'll be a part of your life now and for the long run quite possibly the only male parental figure they have. Like others said, don't be a buddy, but be the best parent you can be. The positive effects last much longer.

I'm starting to pray for you right now. :p



PS - Don't forget that girls are into relationships and emotions and stuff. I have to will myself to get into that mode at times with my daughters.

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Originally Posted by 3fingersalute

I have 3 little girls at home, my toenails are currently painted purple (*shhh*)

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https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gifhttps://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Sorry dude, but I'll have to draw the line right there. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
But, brushing my hair sounds good. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif

Kids are a lot of work. My girlfriend has two boys (ages 9 and 2). One day they are normal, the next they are demons from hell and ripping the house apart.

It takes patience, work, effort, and more patience... and occasionally a few advils help. :)

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Originally Posted by TripleRLtd

https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gifhttps://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Sorry dude, but I'll have to draw the line right there. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
But, brushing my hair sounds good. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif

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Hey man, mine are always under a pair of socks, so nobody even notices. My fingernails are off limits however!!

Treat them like I do my cat, fresh water and plenty of food daily, pet/scratch them behind the ear and let them sleep in between your legs :thumbs:

Oh yeah, and string, have lots of string to play with, but put it up when you are done.

You can be a father and be a friend, but you cannot only be a friend. Hard sometimes. Good luck.

How long is "temporarily"

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Originally Posted by 3fingersalute

I have 3 little girls at home, my toenails are currently painted purple (*shhh*)

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Naaah, Trip wouldn't go for purple.....

"Really Red Rouge" may be more his style.... :devil:

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Originally Posted by paraflyer

Naaah, Trip wouldn't go for purple.....

"Really Red Rouge" may be more his style.... :devil:

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Ah, so that's what the 3R's stand for. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gifhttps://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
btw, the big day has been put off until today. Too much preping to do to the house. So, tonight, a friend of the ex's who is also a friend of mine is bringing the kids over. And, she'll come on weekends to help, too. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif

Well, they came today (well, I guess it's yesterday now...:eek:) and all is well. Of course they couldn't sleep at first, and second, and third:
...times coming out of the room is what happened. More often, to tell the truth. Every other minute:
Dad, Vicky farted... https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Damn, it's almost like she was made for Cleetus. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Finally, the little one came out and said her tummy hurt. I said it was because she finally had a real meal and is filled up. And, she's now an official fat girl. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif. Then I picked her up in my arms and held her while posting here helping someone out in the XP or 9x forum...all along rubbing her head. Within minutes she was asleep.
I couldn't help it, but I let her sleep there for 15 minutes. It felt really good. Finally bonding with my little girl.
This is the stuff dreams are made of. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TripleRLtd

Well, they came today (well, I guess it's yesterday now...:eek:) and all is well. Of course they couldn't sleep at first, and second, and third:
...times coming out of the room is what happened. More often, to tell the truth. Every other minute:
Dad, Vicky farted... https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Damn, it's almost like she was made for Cleetus. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
Finally, the little one came out and said her tummy hurt. I said it was because she finally had a real meal and is filled up. And, she's now an official fat girl. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif. Then I picked her up in my arms and held her while posting here helping someone out in the XP or 9x forum...all along rubbing her head. Within minutes she was asleep.
I couldn't help it, but I let her sleep there for 15 minutes. It felt really good. Finally bonding with my little girl.
This is the stuff dreams are made of. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif

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Way to go, Trip. Sounds like all of you will make the adjustment just fine. :)

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Originally Posted by Tekboy

. Sounds like all of you will make the adjustment just fine. :)

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Thanks.
I believe so. too. I mean, there wasn't a single tear shed. It's like they are relieved, as well as happy, to be with me.
Well, I can relate to that. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2006/04/1.gif
I am so damn tired that I can't sleep...https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif

You were the perfect father,and you never knew it, now you get to test your skills for real. Enjoy and Congrats again.

Some advice trip...QUIT HELPING PEOPLE ON THE FORUM IN THE MIDDLE OF TEH NIGHT WHEN THE GIRLS ARE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING! The dude on WD can wait until morning, after breakfast!

That is absolutely AWESOME!!!!! Nothing like that feeling of total trust from them when they fall asleep in your arms!!!!! Your well on the way and going to do GREAT!!!

Here's a pic of my little three year old:
http://tinypic.com/1o2bsg
I'll have some updated pics for ya's in a few days. I finally got a digital camera. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
The three girls are all beautiful. I think they are all prettier than Charlies Angel's...and don't get any ideas Cleetus. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gifhttps://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
So, if anyone is wondering, I am now considering getting permanent custody. They are doing much better here, and are well adjusted, too. I still have the wee one with me until I get day care, and my business has suffered...but if anything is worth it, they are. They have been through enough already, and none of them are even ten years old. https://forums.windrivers.com/images.../2005/03/1.gif
I'll be the first to admit that I probably wouldn't have been able to manage this by myself 10 or 20 years ago, though...

:thumbs:

Hope you get full/permanent custody.

They deserve a great parent.

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Originally Posted by TechZ

..They deserve a great parent.

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What they deserve is two great parents !

But as I well know, sometimes you've got no choice but to try to be that one ...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RRR

.. I still have the wee one with me until I get day care, and my business has suffered...but if anything is worth it, they are.

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I can relate entirely to that .. this is like you are having a re-run of my circumstances Trip, but with 3 kids instead of 1 ! I've got to say being a parent is the hardest job I ever did, with the worst pay possible, but with the greatest rewards in the world despite that ! :thumbs:

Just keep remembering what you already know Trip, its worth it :).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by confus-ed

What they deserve is two great parents !

But as I well know, sometimes you've got no choice but to try to be that one ...



I can relate entirely to that .. this is like you are having a re-run of my circumstances Trip, but with 3 kids instead of 1 ! I've got to say being a parent is the hardest job I ever did, with the worst pay possible, but with the greatest rewards in the world despite that ! :thumbs:

Just keep remembering what you already know Trip, its worth it :).

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well seeing as they only have 1 atm -ed, Guess Trip has to be that 1 great one. :thumbs:

Sounds great Trip!!! Sounds like its going well.....glad to hear it!! Good luck on getting custody..sounds like they would be much better off in the long run!!

Nice lookin lil girl you got there! :thumbs:

my advice is to take the four year old with you to work and out on jjobs. Customers understand..oh well at least they do here.

and other than that get a big whiteboard corkboard and clearly mark library days and special days at school along with parties and stuff. Otherwise you will find you miss stuff.

prepare a few meals on the weekend and freeze them for easy serving on the nights you are late

and most of all get them to help with chores and all chip in, otherwise you will find yourself doing absolutely everything and ya just can't do it for long without falling asleep all over the place.

and make sure you have a ready supply of bite cream, rash cream, cough mixture, panadol and tummy antacid on hand for cases of emergency.

oh and bandaids..they love bandaids......pink ones...


cangrats by the way...welcome to my happy madness