Finally ... some entertaining Spam !

[confus-ed]

Hidden amongst all the usual Bull ... some stuff that made me smile ...

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is Grandma or Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
Wrinkles don't hurt.
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Today 's mighty oak is yesterday's nut that held it's ground
Laughing is good exercise It's like jogging on the inside.

GREAT TRUTH ABOUT GROWING OLD:
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a rollercoaster.
It's frustrating when you know the answer, but nobody bothers to ask you the question.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
You believe in Santa Claus.
You don't believe in Santa Claus.
You are Santa Claus.
You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is ......not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is.....having friends.
At age 16 success is ....having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is ....having sex.
At age 35 success is ....having money.
At age 50 success is ....having money.
At age 60 success is ....having sex.
At age 70 success is ....having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is ....having friends.
At age 80 success is ....not peeing in your pants


I'm glad to know all I have to look forward to though is NOT peeing my pants !

[Orangeman]

Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

My cat hates the dust-buster, she also hates fans....It makes it tough for her in this weather

[FatalException0E]

Originally posted by Orangeman
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

My cat hates the dust-buster, she also hates fans....It makes it tough for her in this weather

Tell me that isn't a cat stuffed into a scanner.......

[Orangeman]

She resembles that remark....

[Stalemate]

Originally posted by FatalException0E
Tell me that isn't a cat stuffed into a scanner.......

ROTFLMHO!!!!