The WOTPP's Tale !

[Mags]

...then the world started spinning for Daphne, she felt faint, the moon was turning round, the stars seemed to be whizzing past her, as her spirit left her body which was in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Daphne was dead.

Everyone looked up into the sky and saw her spirit disappearing and some were relieved, some wept, some wailed ... you could hear the wailing in the outer galaxies, beyond the planet, past the Moon and Stars and Sun, wailing like no-one had heard before, a huge Whale it was ...

Then round the corner came her sister, ____

[street1]

Then round the corner came her sister, ____

What could her name be?

FRED?

[Mags]

Her sister had forgotten her name ... suffering from amnesia and too long on Windrivers... so she dashed round to Daphne to ask Daphne what it was.

She skidded to a halt when she saw poor Daphne lying on the floor, she stooped down and patted Daphne.

Daphne sat up, said, 'your name is Sophie' then lay down again.

Sophie breathed a sigh of relief, 'at last I know who I am' she said.

Sophie made a note in her notebook of her name for future reference and dashed back home again, only to find at her front door .....

[street1]

only to find at her front door .....Sophie' What the?????????????

My golly! she said"I'm my own twin"Then comes the run.....................

[CCT]

... ahead to hug her newfound twin and ---\\\!!WHAMO!!///..., she slams into the mirror that had been delivered that very afternoon.

Picking herself up from the dusty porch, she shook out her blonde curls and muttered, 'Someone shall pay for this outrage. Oh yes, mark my words, Sophie shall have her revenge!'

With that, she promptly forgot the whole ordeal and went inside to........

[street1]

to............Call The WOTPP's Hotline and see if she was supposed to run into
the mirror or,Say" Mirror,Mirror on the wall.................

[Mags]

...to which Desmond replied, 'The Hotline's Maxed out, I can't answer any more questions, the pigeons have been flying in all day, I've been writing messages on them and sending them back ... and no sooner have I sent one out, then ten more come in.

My house and yard is full of pigeons, all twittering on with questions and I've been diving into the old parchments finding answers and making up others .... ooh I shouldn't have said that ...

So Sophie said, 'yes but who is this woman called Daphne .. who keeps sitting up to say things, then lying down again, is she my older sister, twin or younger sister? I can't ask Mother cos Mother joined Father years ago on the upper terrestrial planes.

Then Daphne sat up again and said ...

[CCT]

...'Sophie, my dear, you were lied to all these years. I am your mother, your father was a vagabond hermephradite I met whilst lawn bowling one day, and now that I am gone (going) to my maker (whomever that may chance to be) I feel you should know the truth.'

Sophie cried aloud in anguish, 'Gaaaakkk!!!!! What?'

To which Daphne replied, ' Yes, but the family jewels are stored, are stored, are sto.......' and she passed over the veil to the upper celestial plain, or was it the upper terrestrial plane - regardless, she kicked the water container and died.

Sophie observed this happenstance and observed, '......

[Mags]

.... the cold tap was dripping !

So she set off to find a Plumber ...

Daphne swooped down from the upper/lower regions ... grinned ... and flew back again.

Then Sophie, in her search for a Pipe man, found...

[El_Squid]

A tall, gaunt man standing outside her garden gate with a large Calabash pipe clenched tightly with his teeth. The aromatic smoke rose sinously to wreath his rather bald pate, before disapating into the aether.

"No, no, no!" she grumbled, rushing past him, "Wrong type of pipe man."

[street1]

If she hadn’t of cried out ‘War Pigs!' to the last two plumbers, she would not be headed for her two story cave, pipe wrench in hand,looking as if she'd already finished a days toil.

The one legged plumber famous in her whereabouts was blocking the doorway with.....................................

[Mags]

...a Quote for the job that made Sophie feel quite faint.

So she decided to take a holiday and blow the jobs that needed doing at home, so she whizzed off to AstroStarCus, the other Women's Prehistoric Planet.

AstroStarCus was well known for it's amazing beaches, long sun-drenched days, sun-loungers with dusky maidens attending to your (not quite) every whim, food that made even the most enthusiastic slimmer lose control and a sea as blue as blue as blue and no nasties that bite.

Sophie thought, 'I could get used to this', then as she was basking on a rainbow coloured sun-lounger, along came ....

[street1]

along came ....Wee Tommy on a camel,selling ladies kilts.
Sophie my dear.....not you at a nude beach! What will
Women of The Prehistoric Planet think when I show them
pictures of you playing 'Lady Godiva' on a camel.

Poor,Sophie..............................

[CCT]

....... a tall, gaunt man who stopped and stood beside her lounger with a large Calabash pipe clenched tightly with his teeth. The aromatic smoke rose sinously to wreath his rather bald pate, before disapating into the aether.

'My goodness', remarked Sophie, 'I seem to recall that smell! I wonder where from? And doesn't that chap realize this is the no-smoking section of the planet! I shall just have to let him know that his behaviour is inappropriate.'

With that thought in mind, Sophie launched herself from her comfortable lounger, dropped her towel and faced the pipe-smoking chappie, and said '...............

[Mags]

Sophie said, 'I'm confused, are you wee Tommy or a tall, gaunt man?

I do have my sunglasses on but perhaps it's because you're standing with the sun at your back and I can't see properly. Could you move over there .... ?'

Then ...