The WOTPP's Tale !

[El_Squid]

... the tall, gaunt man replied, "I am, was, wee Tommy, all grown up!" He hopped off his camel, with the greatest of ease, that daring young Scot with the knobbley knees. Then, grinning from ear to ear, he whipped out a sample case, which he opened to display an amazing variety of Tartan patterns. "You see, I am the world's foremost purveyor of Lady's Kilts and assorted Oxymoronisms. For, what is a Lady's Kilt but a skirt by any other name? Does it smell just as sweet?"

Sophie squinted at the backlit figure of the tall, gaunt man, noticing he was now wore a Tam to cover his 'airless pate and his great Calabash pipe was safely tucked away. What the Dickens was he blathering on about anyway? Smelly women's clothes? Stepping aside, to get the sun out of her eyes, the perplexed Prehistoric Woman took a longer, better look at the alleged wee Tommy, all grown up.

[street1]

One side of brain thought.....What a hunk! While the other side thought damn I need
a pipe fitter(plumber)water no leak guy.Now her brain was split in confusion as she
started to do the prehistoric dance her mummy had taught her.....Instead of the Birds
and the Bees.Think hunk..Think plumber....oh so confusing for......................

[Mags]

...Sophie, but she had made her mind up, household things were matters of the past, as she lazed upon the AstroStarCus beach and dreamed of earlier days, when worries never trod their way to her door ... the days when Mummy and Daddy (yes she had a nice Mummy and Daddy) did all the hard work and all she did was play ...

She put her head back, almost wishing big Tom would relax a bit ... and she fell into a dream of a beautiful garden, with roses, pansies, chrysanthemums, asters, lilac trees, lupins, primroses, daisies ... in her dream she made a daisy chain.

Then who should wake her but ....

[CCT]

..... Daphne (in dreams spirits roam at will).

'Hullo my dear daughter - taking the lazy life whole hog I see. Idling away precious moments of your life whilst the plumbing drips is it? Well, you shall rue the day for abandoning such mortal chores. Wait 'til you have to return home and swim into your kitchen for a caper, or a capon, or whatever. Then you'll wish you had heeded my advice.'

Sophie slumbered on, but in her reverie she thought 'What....

[Mags]

'What Mother doesn't know is that I am the only woman on the other Prehistoric Planet with something that sits on my lap and plugs into a secret source that only I know about and before I left, I left my problems at the feet of ..............

Terry Love's Plumbing and Remodel Advice Forum !!

..and I know that not only will the answer be given but little men will have leapt out of the box I keep on my lap and all my leaks will be fixed'

So, in the meantime, I will laze all I wish, thinking, 'Silly Mother, what does she know?'

But to her surprise ...

[Country Bumpkin]

I have enjoyed reading about the WOTPP and am now worried about how Sophie, who has dropped her towel to face the gaunt man who is actually wee Tommy all grown up, is going to do. Will she buy a tartan kilt and preserve her modesty? or will she dream on about her mother and the plumbing in her nakedness? What a worry!

[Mags]

Indeed, to Sophie's surprise, a new visitor, welcome Country Bumpkin !!

And diverging a little, I will be worrying on Tuesday when I am at hospital, having had to drop something for the medics and with a pint and half of water inside me, while they do a ultrasound scan and how long will it be before they let me to go the loo ...

Anyway, back to Sophie, who should surprise her but ...

[street1]

The Bad old nurse with the giant celotex lined crap catcher.

Anyway Sophie made a run for it but,'Gerte-Le-Strange' the
Monster nurse said"Relax"Bad use of words "said poor Sophie.

And now.........................

[Country Bumpkin]

as Sophie hangs on and on with one and a half pints of fluid pestering her bladder the medics run aparatus over the pestered area of her anatomy.
With a mask covering his face so only his eyes appear the doctor like the monster nurse says "RElax" which of course is the wrong word when hanging on for dear life. But this time she cannot speak for fear of loosing her grip on her pressurised bladder.

Then ......

[Mags]

...Sophie looks up bleary eyed from her lounger and wonders what all these people are blabbering about ... as she lazes in the sun, without a care in the world ... she can only assume they are somewhat mad as they talk of hospitals ... for on AstroStarCus, treatment is by leaves and herbs and green tea and plenty of exercise, when one is not lounging in the sun ..

So then, all the medics ..

[Country Bumpkin]

finding they were now rather redundant on the prehistoric planet of AstroStarCus they vanished into thin air, of which there is an abundance on the prehistoric planet of AstroStarCus.

While this was going on, (the vanishing medics that is,) wee Tommy - all grown up, who has been standing in the sun while Sophie lazed, asks Sophie, who has now roused from her Laze in the sun.................

[street1]

Sophie, who has now roused from her Laze in the sun.................

Have you ever been in a hospital bed on you side cruising through the desert
and put down the convertable top baby?
"Wrong question nurse"said wee Tommy who was now practicing law at the
hospital.
Some one wake the poor child came the voice from the fog as Sophie fought
to....................

[Country Bumpkin]

come back from her dream state. No one would never believe who it was who greeted her as she shook her bemuddled head to take a second look.
"For heavens sake," she said, "Where on the planet AstroStarCus did you come from?"
"Well that's a nice greeting I must say." was the reply, "when it is I who has roused you from your drugged induced laze in the sun. What have you been drinking anyway?"
"I remember drinking something Daphne, my long dead mother gave me, but I thought I was only dreaming."
Could Sophie have been drugged with leaves and green tea? ......

[street1]

Sorry this is OFF-TOPIC Mags:

A PSYCOLOGICAL TRIP WITH street1


So,I was sitting around in my bedroom last night playing a little Bob Dylan and CCR on my guitar.PeckerWood was 'of course'sitting in his little bird
chair in the corner patting his foot and critical of any note I may miss.

I then remembered a few months back,when my brother-in-law was in the
hospital.All the youth in the family were sporting their Cell Phones.Oh! at the flavors and varieties they have made.

My sister-in-law wanted her son up there with her so she asked"Will someone please call Micheal and have him come right up please"?

Cell phones came out like weapons on Star Trek,and no one could get a good signal in the hospital.

They were all moving around confounded and lost,When my sister-in-law looked over at the table in the corner of the waiting room and said"Why can't
we just use the telephone"?

She walks over picks up the phone calls her son,then turns around and says"Kids the telephone has never failed me".

Me and PeckerWood and I had to leave the room for our ROTFLMAO.

Now Back To our Adventure. SNAP!


Could Sophie have been drugged with leaves and green tea? ......

[Mags]

Indeed, bring back the old Quill and Pen and Parchment, these things do exist on the Prehistoric Planet.

In the meantime, Sophie gave everyone a glazed look and ..