The WOTPP's Tale !

**CCT** · August 7th, 2009, 06:55 PM

... blew sand in every direction and knocked the luxurious kelp-Mohawk hairdo into a flattened damp-salad look.

The Great Beast, floundering in the foam as the tide rolled in, flapped its' immense flukes, toiled its' titanic tail, heaved its' humongous hulk about and sped back into the briny, leaving short blasts of flatulent BUT semi-melodious gaseous expulsions behind.

Padre Pepe raised one hand in benediction (the other pinched his nostrils) and said, ..........

**El_Squid** · August 27th, 2009, 01:29 PM

Vaya con Dios, mi amigo gaseoso.

Slowly, impreceptibly at first, entire scholls of fish floated up to the surface, bobbing about unconcious, or semi-concious and gasping for air!

"Score!" hollered Scungeon, as he scrambled down the beach towards his coracle. Cap'n Ahab followed suit, racing madly for a large piece of drift wood, upon which he would float out to sea and gather up as many of helpless fish as he could.

Padre Pepe looked on with a beatific smile, enchanted by the pair's childish delight in the simple pleasures of life.

**CCT** · August 29th, 2009, 12:11 PM

Meanwhile, in the next cove over once-removed, the lights came on in that famous pub, the 'Well, Hello There Sailor', and Madame Butterfly prepared once again to serve and deal with the nightly incursion by the many and varied habitues' of the prehistoric planet of AstroStarCus.

Singing softly to herself, she lyrically languished for the laughing lovability of that lame lecher, Ahab.

Little did she know he was adrift in the cove once-removed back-a-bit.

Just then, she heard.........

**El_Squid** · September 8th, 2009, 12:05 PM

Just then, she heard... the raspy voice of the Beast from Down Under, the Pestilent Cyborg Platypus of Doom, Mr. P engaged in a profoundly inane argument with Chi-Ken, regarding the culinary habits of the Kopi Luwak Lemurs.

"... you cannot deny that they are the master baristas of the Asian rain forests! Their discerning intestinal sensibilities far surpass those of a mere cat,... or is that a mere mere cat?"

"Psah! Total rubbish!" retorted Chi-Ken, "You are completely ignoring the unparalleled olfactory artistry of the talented Truffle Swine of France! The comparisons completely debunk your hair-brained theories!"

Mr. P sniffed with indignation, being primarily irritated because they had not seen hide, nor hair, of their former companions for quite some time. This being the reason they decided to patronize the 'Well, Hello There Sailor', seeking to assuage their sorrows with some raucous ribaldry and high-spirited hijinks.

They stepped through the swining doors in unison, only to...

**CCT** · September 17th, 2009, 07:16 PM

utter...'WTH is a swining door????'

Then, thinking with all their might, they understood that they were suspects of the H1N1 or 'Highknee' flu, and as such should keep their egestions to themselves.

Chi-Ken, gesticulating athletically, managed to import to Madame Butterfly that he and his compadre were in dire need of alcoholic sustenance, and that they had the necessary to pay for it (if barter was entirely out of the equation).

The astute bartender and sometimes horny-sailor-savant, stabbing a whale-bone berret into her high bun, grabbed a tray of the number-two rum and set sail for their table.

JUST THEN - ta dah!!

The batwings again swung inward, then outward (knocking someone or something decidedly askew with a loud and utterly unintelligable curse (good thing, eh?) and what 6 personages should appear but.............

**El_Squid** · September 28th, 2009, 01:02 PM

... Happy, Doc, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy and Sleepy, Sneezy was not present, as he had the flu and nobody wanted him around. Can't be too careful, you know.

They came to celebrate their latest gem find, a mother lode of Bling Stones, which promised to make them all very wealthy. Except, of course, for the fact they tended to blow their loot on Ale and Wenches, then waste the rest.

**CCT** · September 28th, 2009, 03:12 PM

The Unruly dwarfs began to scare the usually steadfast Madame, and she pressed the Astrocarcus Emergency call button,

Music began to be heard ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iteRKvRKFA )

And in a few seconds, the bar batwing doors flew open, drenched in sunlight, and through those widespread gates strode 7 women of disparate type and nature, all armed to the teeth and steadfastly determined to aid their sister.

Matilda, who was an ardent Folk Dance practiser, little Daisy, who lived in a slime covered hut, harrassed looking Sophie, whose departed mother was called Daphne, Daphne's spirit, that still haunted her old slime covered hut, the Petronella twins, fitted by Dr. Bruce with cyborg gills and webbed toes, and last, Marie, the scrivener.

As they entered, they spread left and right, and silence descended.

Marie, in a clear and chilling voice said............

**El_Squid** · September 29th, 2009, 01:58 PM

"Hold, you ill-mannered oafs! Cease and desist, post haste, or reap the rewards of your misbehavior!"

The rambuncious, vertically-challenged miners paused, mid-revel, to gape at Marie. Their ale-befuddled brains struggled to make sense of what the stern, scowling scrivner just said. One could almost hear the gears grinding within their skulls. Finally, Grumpy spoke out, not knowing what else to do.

"Get lost sister! This is a private party!" Then, with a lecherous gleem in his eye, added, "The good-looking wenches can stay and find out how miners sink a shaft! Har, har, har!"

This was most definitely the wrong thing to say, at the wrong time. Before the echoes of his laugh had died away,...

**CCT** · September 30th, 2009, 04:21 PM

......Madame Butterfly shrieked "Not in here, for the love of Bread Pudding! Take it outside! I can't handle the damage insurance as it is. And stop that infernal music!"

Silence descended once again. In the sudden stillness, Chi Ken and Mr. P. could be heard muttering about short people and short tempers and short women and short swords.

The latter, being the primary weapons on both Astrocarcus and the world of the WOTPP, were even now raised high and glinting above the well-manicured hands of the daring damsels-of-rescue.

Herding the diminuitive drunks ahead with the points of their swords and a few well placed kicks, they departed through the batwings.

On the table so recently occupied by the dwarves sat their bag of Bling Stones. Madame Butterfly scooped up the bag, checked the contents, dropped it down her bodice, stooped to retrieve it from the floor and then dropped in in her pocket, all the while surveying the room for onlookers.

Having 'found' the unattended bag, she was determined to put it away so that, should the rightful owners reappear, she could collect the reward that, if offered, would encourage her to return the stones.

Meanwhile, Mr. P. said to Chi Ken........

**CCT** · October 22nd, 2009, 07:35 PM

"Where do you think Mayet, Maggs and that Noo Noo person have gotten off to?"

Chi Ken responded "I think they are plotting - yes plotting - as I concentrate I see them planting seeds - they are trying to expand knowledge and understanding amongst their fellows.

However, many of those are ENGLISH, so it is a hard thing!"

**El_Squid** · October 23rd, 2009, 11:48 AM

Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the Well, Hello There, Sailor!, a somewhat inebriated calamari blubbered over a half-eaten blob of Bread Pudding, "I just Love this stuff!"

**El_Squid** · October 27th, 2009, 12:17 PM

Meanwhile, back at the beach, Scungeon, Cap'n Ahab and Padre Pepe happily cooked a mess of fish over a largish camp fire. A jug of banana wine was being passed around and the merry trio broke out into song, "Can you show the way to go home..." An ominous sound track started up in the back ground, as a ginormous dorsal fin broke the surface of the still malodorous sea and headed towards them.

**CCT** · October 27th, 2009, 03:58 PM

"Lord Love a Duck" shouted the Padre!

"Thar She Blows" screamed Cap'n Ahab!

"The Pan's Not Big Enough" commented Scungeon.

The doral fin descended, never to appear for at least 12 postings.

The merry trio began once again to devour the offerings of the sea (so to speak).

BUT THEN!!!!! TA DAAAAAA@!!!

Over the farthest dune appeared the 7 Damesls of destiney!

'Matilda, who was an ardent Folk Dance practiser, little Daisy, who lived in a slime covered hut, harrassed looking Sophie, whose departed mother was called Daphne, Daphne's spirit, that still haunted her old slime covered hut, the Petronella twins, fitted by Dr. Bruce with cyborg gills and webbed toes, and last, Marie, the scrivener.'

They approached the gustatorially-gifted threesome, and with one voice proclaimed......................

**El_Squid** · October 30th, 2009, 12:32 PM

proclaimed... "Well, hello there, Sailors!"

"Madre de Dios!" exclaimed Padre Pepe, jumping up to his feet.

"Arrhh!" growled Ahab, then, "Arrggh!" as he noticed his now smoldering peg leg had gotten too close to the cook fire.

"Pfft...," Scungeon spewed fish bits, in a classic spit-take, when he espied the 7 lovely Damsels of Destiny.

Daphne peeked out from a window of the slime-covered hut and recognized none of the flustered fish-eaters. "Whoooo arrrre yoooou?" she asked in a spooky, spectral-like voice.