Ask Stalemate

**slgrieb** · January 16th, 2009, 11:37 AM

When, you do of course. That you do is assumed because you need antifreeze in your blood to keep it flowing in winter up there.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by houseisland

Will there ever be a DVI interface for the LCD snowshovel or will it always be limited to VGA and S-Video?

Yes.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by houseisland

Why are dwarves in video games always Scottish?

To emulate Real Life™ as much as possible.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by amyb

Why do fools fall in love?

I had to find help on this one: http://dating1.sky.com/dating_tips/w..._fall_in_love/

Q: Why do fools fall in love?

A: It’s not that fools fall in love, it’s that we turn into fools when we’re in love. That’s how love works – it takes over our brains, our bodies and our lives with such a blinding force that all rational sense goes out the window.

Scientists have found that freshly love-struck brains show symptoms of mental illness, in particular Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). People with OCD behave obsessively, and their brains are low in the neuro-transmitter serotonin. Similar features were found in the brains of Italian students who said they’d recently fallen in love: their serotonin levels were 40% lower than their peers.

American researchers found that new love is characterised by feelings of exhilaration and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the beloved. Some of the researchers suggested that this mental state shares neurochemical characteristics with manic depression.

“Madly in love”? Too right.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

*Backs away slowly from the Gorge of Eternal Peril and ignores the question.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by NooNoo

Why do time limited email offers only get sent while you have no access to your email?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHA!

Heheheheehheehe.

*sighs contendedly and pats his Blackberry

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by houseisland

Why, not matter how hard and how long the wife nags at me to get rid of all that old crap, can I never bring myself to throw away my old Asus P2B 440BX board and its PIII 600 Katmai slot 1 proc?

She's obviously jealous.

I mean, just LOOK at that PCB, the sexy etchings, the golden hale it displays... the inviting way that slot 1 presents itself...

Plus, the Katmai's never hassled you for coming home late, or not taking out the trash, right? It's never glared at you from across the room, embarassed that you had taken off your shirt during her office Christmas party to show your cholecystectomy scars to her co-workers, has it?

It understands you.

It's never given you the cold shoulder either. It's always been there for you. Dependable. Quick to "boot up" and "get operational" whenever you needed it to. Sure it's no longer the fastest and hottest out there, but sometimes slow and easy is what you need, right?

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by slgrieb

Dear Stalemate; Why is it that whenever your cat eats something like a 3 foot piece of gold Christmas tinsel, you always find him running around with like a foot trailing "behind" him, if you catch my drift, and have to perform a manual extraction? Unless you can convince one of the kids that it's just stuck in the fur, of course.

Stop answering my questions, you hack.

And stop looking at cats' butts.

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by clauded

Stalemate tell me;why won`t my ex-wife of 40 years ago won`t talk to or her family won`t either,guess i will wait for the next 40 years,she may be in a better mood then,only problem i will be 110 by then,lol

Even using my Vast Mental Powers™, I don't understand this question so I'll posit some Steven Wright quotes instead:

How young can you die of old age?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

**Stalemate** · January 23rd, 2009, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by Guts3d

"A tactical WOTPPP"?????

Is this even legal? I'll wait for Stalemate's reply.

The Way of the Post Pad never existed.

It never went underground, nor did it spread and have an entire forum unknowingly spawn based on its precepts.

*Tries to discreetly cover up own post count and multiple discussion threads.

**houseisland** · January 24th, 2009, 12:05 PM

Are territorial possiveness and agression, behaviours commonly seen in lower animals (tomcats pissing on padded posts for example), something that the human species has transcended through social evolution and the greater powers self-awareness, self-reflection and self-control afforded by the higher ratio of cerebral cortex to brain stem in the human brain?

____________________________________________

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

**houseisland** · January 24th, 2009, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Stalemate

Yes.

Thanks. I thought so, but I was reluctant to make any foolish statement of opinion on the topic without your blessing.

____________________________________________

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

**slgrieb** · January 24th, 2009, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by Stalemate

Stop answering my questions, you hack.

And stop looking at cats' butts.

Hack, eh? Why don't you quit goofing off, slacker. Anyway, I was funnier.

**Guts3d** · January 25th, 2009, 08:30 AM

[quote=Stalemate;673859]Even using my Vast Mental Powers™...

Oh Great one, how may a lowly Guts3d attain Vast Mental Powers™, and are they expensive?