Tips for living in todays world...

**Guts3d** · December 2nd, 2006, 06:50 AM

As Petulia Clark once said " Don't sleep in the subway darling, don't stand in the pouring rain..." I'd like to add to that never pinch a live 110 volt cord 2 inches away from your face while standing on a ladder...

**NooNoo** · December 2nd, 2006, 10:58 AM

WWWWWWWWWEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee.... crump.... owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

You can do it on a wooden ladder though

**Guts3d** · December 2nd, 2006, 01:56 PM

"I'll pay you later" sometimes translates into 'You'll never get a dime out of me" especially with relatives... and why does " I have this problem " always become your problem after hearing it? When I started this thread I was hoping the rest of the techs that post here would impart some of the nuggets of wisdom they have acquired over the years...

**NooNoo** · December 2nd, 2006, 03:17 PM

On a Saturday???!!!!

**CCT** · December 2nd, 2006, 03:28 PM

The severity of the injury is directly proportional to the distance from the nearest medical treatment center.

**slgrieb** · December 2nd, 2006, 04:49 PM

Never put your p*n*s anywhere you'd be afraid to put your finger.
Never do when you can overdo.
Never use when you can abuse.

I'm having a sale on Wisdom today. 3 gems for the price of one.

**street1** · December 2nd, 2006, 05:41 PM

Save Years and Avoid Divorce!

Meet a woman you hate.Buy the woman a new car,a home and
give her half of your paycheck.

Then get on with your life!

**houseisland** · December 2nd, 2006, 07:52 PM

When I was a child and had my first pocket knife, my grandfather taught me this bit of wisdom: "Always cut away from yourself and towards your friends. You can always get new friends."

Hi Guts3D!

____________________________________________

Soundtrack: http://www.math.sunysb.edu/~tony/bir...nds/crow2bm.au

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

**Guts3d** · December 2nd, 2006, 09:21 PM

[QUOTE=houseisland]When I was a child and had my first pocket knife, my grandfather taught me this bit of wisdom: "Always cut away from yourself and towards your friends. You can always get new friends."

Hi Guts3D!

Haha!

I have a scar on my ribs that that piece of wisdom would have prevented... Great advice! Hi right back, House!

**Country Bumpkin** · December 3rd, 2006, 05:21 PM

My favourite piece of wisdom is :-

The way to be truly happy is not to have everything you want but to be content with everything you have.

**El_Squid** · December 4th, 2006, 10:01 AM

Ah, words of wisdom seek you? Then wisdom give shall I.

1) Never try to teach Pigs to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pigs!
2) Never volunteer.
3) Never interfere with a volunteer.
4) The answer to all work questions is always: Not Me! As in, not my shift, not my section, not my branch, not my building, et cetera. The key element being: not any group you are a part of.
5) Avoid being noticed, because the punishment for being below average and the reward for being above average are always the same: more work.
6) Solve your problems in house, because if Admin is forced to make a decision, the result will be unpleasant for all involved.

**Guts3d** · April 24th, 2011, 03:30 PM

I learned a ew one this week; "When in doubt, procrastinate. Someone else will come along and muck it up, leaving you the high ground. "

**CeeBee** · April 25th, 2011, 08:23 AM

If you think it - don't say it
If you say it - don't write it
If you write it - don't sign it
If you sign it... don't wonder

**Guts3d** · May 20th, 2011, 07:29 AM

I learned a new one recently if you are married: If your significant other wistfully states that she has always wanted a (fill in the blank, in my case it is a pinball machine), do NOT buy one, as she will invariably state that she never said that, and just where in the hell are we going to put that? ( I had a few sugestions, but they were met with "the look"...

**Niclo Iste** · May 20th, 2011, 08:46 AM

No matter how often you tell your significant other "I love you" or now matter how often you show that you love them it is always 5 times too few each day. Because of this you will be accused of not loving them for lack of trying enough.

Conversely for each day you meet or discover the quota the next day is +5 more.