Ask Stalemate

**Niclo Iste** · November 26th, 2008, 07:36 PM

Congrats you turned my crappy bad day into a good one with the laugh you gave me.

**slgrieb** · November 26th, 2008, 09:35 PM

Dear Stalemate:

I just re-read my last post on this thread. My question is "Just how drunk was I when I posted this?"

**Stalemate** · November 27th, 2008, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

Congrats you turned my crappy bad day into a good one with the laugh you gave me.

Glad I could help.

I take Paypal, most major credit cards, or any combination of seashells and bottle caps.

**Stalemate** · November 27th, 2008, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by slgrieb

Dear Stalemate:

I just re-read my last post on this thread. My question is "Just how drunk was I when I posted this?"

Apparently just enough to induce short term memory loss, but probably not enough to stop the nightmares from waking in a cold sweat nightly, screaming "OH GAWD, HE EVEN BROKE INTO MY HAPPY PLACE!"

**NooNoo** · November 27th, 2008, 10:56 AM

Just how long does a female teenager whine for?

**Stalemate** · November 27th, 2008, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by NooNoo

Just how long does a female teenager whine for?

Right up until the time she turns into a whining woman.

DISCLAIMER: This particular answer is not intended to be sexist. Any appearance of sexism is vehemently denied and rests solely in the reader's perspective. Women are great. Especially mine. I love my female.

**houseisland** · December 10th, 2008, 09:35 PM

This has been asked many times before, I am sure. But I have never seen a satisfactory answer.

Whatever happened to prepartions A to G?

___________________________________________

It is my pure and virtuous heart that
gives me the strength of ten!

**MobilePCPhysician** · December 10th, 2008, 09:45 PM

Crappy Marketing??????

**NooNoo** · December 11th, 2008, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by MobilePCPhysician

Crappy Marketing??????

**Stalemate** · December 12th, 2008, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by houseisland

This has been asked many times before, I am sure. But I have never seen a satisfactory answer.

Whatever happened to prepartions A to G?

What an odd coincidence!

I woke up last night wondering *exactly* the same thing!

So I called up some people who owed me favors, woke up some researchers and R&D people, and got some answers after which I was able to get back to sleep.

Some people prefer to use warm milk instead. Whatever works I guess.

Preparation A - The maple scented codename "Preparation, eh?" never made it past the first human test group. Constant requests for slices of bread instead of bathroom tissue during test phase.

Preparation B - Honey based emulsion. Testing was going well and the "icky sticky-ness" initially reported could have been dealt with if the test groups hadn't been constantly annoyed by bees and mauled by bears. Lab technicians who thought it would be "cute" to use the alliteration with the letter B as basis for defining a line of research were terminated at this point.

Preparation C - The 2 years spent in research almost wiped out funding and took down the company when it was revealed that, for all intents and purposes, the resulting Batch C was chemically identical to water. Project abandoned when patenting and copyrighting attempts failed.

Preparation D - Codename "Delta Force". In retrospect, analysis should have revealed the high capsaicin content in this batch before being released for testing. All carpets in the testing area had to be replaced after widespread use of it to relieve discomfort. Another detail which should have raised flags was it being released precisely on April 1 and seeing that the batch approval signatory was supposedly "Chuck Norris". Fortunately, project funding was improved after the military expressed interest in this product as a potential replacement for napalm.

Preparation E - No information available for this test batch at all. Initial enquiries were met with replies of "There is no Batch E" accompanied with a slight hand gesture. Everyone involved has either disappeared - or have suffered fatal illnesses and/or unexplained suicides.

Preparation F - Massive recall on this version shortly after release to stores when it was revealed to be a crude mixture of mayonnaise and tartar sauce. Further enquiry revealed that this batch was used as a chemical basis for the now commercially available "H" batch.

Preparation G - The copious usage of analgesics in this batch prevented the human test subjects from maintaining enough local sensitivity to keep their sphincters properly shut. Head of project research failedd to address issues with arguments of "Dude, that should have worked 'cause, like, it's got the word 'anal' in it".

**Niclo Iste** · December 12th, 2008, 02:57 PM

Will our little localized drama event ever end? If so how and how soon?

**Stalemate** · December 16th, 2008, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by Niclo Iste

Will our little localized drama event ever end? If so how and how soon?

There is no drama.

It is actually a comedy where one of the main actors in this play is hamming it up to the hilt and may be a student of William Shatner's School of Subtlety if we're basing this on the need for attention alone.