Dear Diary,

Well we are going to try out the transporter today. A bunch of the gang from Windrivers are coming with me. I can't say that I am to happy about it, they have spent the week saying crap like "Beam me up Scotty" and "I just can't do it captain". Anyways I decided to choose a remote and out of the way place to be "beamed" too: South America!

Well let me say that when I was "received" my "johnson" was attached to my *** . Great! Let me tell you that crabs on your *** if jsut annoying.... not that I have crabs or anything....ahem! Next I signial for them to beam me back (scotty) and I get some half *** remark... "Ah, Scott was drinking his Juicy Juice and it spilled on the controls". (By the way our engineer is really named Scott) Flipping great. I am stuck out in the goonies, with no water, No food, and my "whanker" stuck to my *** !

Week One:
Well I spent a week with a very friendly tribe, the "Jimjaboojum", who looked after me until SOME YAHOO COULD FIX THE TRANSPORTER! Well I spent my week trying to paint the "Giant white snake" with jimJim berry, which works better when it crushed to a pulp (had to find that out), for entertainment. Also NikNiktooooooook seems to like me. El Batcho seemed to be at home and even at night I can hear him banging the heck out of some chick chimp. I swear that it has to be the accent.