Just got out of a 1 year relationship ...

[Triumph]

Well, my girlfriend and I just broke up and according to her, I am the one at fault. You wanna know what got me, when she blamed me because she gained 20 pounds while we were together. I somehow lost 15 pounds because I stopped eating fast food, icecream, cheesy saices on my pasta, most carbohydrates and more protein and in general I was feeling physically better.
I am obese as she is and I never once blamed anyone but myself. She blamed my parents for my problems, didn't like half my family and gives new meaning to disfunctional family. She is 30 and she is still afraid of the boogey man and sleeps with the light on.
Then she tells me she was on Prozac and tried to kill herself by hanging heself by a lamp but since she was too heavy, the cord pulled out of the ceiling and she fell on the floor. I kept thinking this would make a great show with roomates, one suicidal and one "normal"
I was hurt when she gave me the heave ho but in talking with friends and family, I realized she was at least as bad for me as I was for her.
The last thing she said to me was that I should go see a psychologist to help me with the breakup. Little did she realize I already was and the shrink told me to let her go. I still love her and I will have to see her from time to time but only when I stepped back did I realize how unhealthy the relationship was.
Did I mention she has a job she hates and doesn't mind working overtime even tho she is on salary and all the other managers leave work at the end of their shifts? Nothing like more time to get beaten up.
I am 33 and still on the journey of life but I know that someday I will meet a woman who we both make each other better people. Hell I do something I am good at and I love, computers. Like someone said, there are successes and learning experiences and I learned alot.

[ßracius]

Hey man the best thing that came out of all that is the comparison. When you find a women that is everything you want you can compare the two and see how much happier you are with out your ex. Until then enjoy the money you will save by not having her around and the emotional abuse will be gone. She sounded like a total looser, not to step on your toes <IMG SRC="smilies/smile.gif" border="0">

[Matt_29]

See its not the issue of looks or parents its your "communication" toward each other.


LIke JvaGirl and me's problem to us seperating was our difference in choices and feelings. Her and I could no longer talk or even stand to see each other, alot of it was simliar to your thing. Cept I was the one hating life, work and all of that .. only thing I lived for each day was our newborn son. Even after that it worn thin not cause i didnt care but I didnt know who I was anymore. I was only acting and trying to make it to the next day but the moutain never ended. When I begain to think of ending it all i went to a doctor and he tried to help me and said I need a break from there and I needed rest( my health was getting bad). After a few more problems between her and I. I could no longer handle it and left to take a break. In all the rouhgness of things I have not gone back and even moved 950 miles away. I miss my son and I would like to go back .. ive been away now for 3 months .. I miss alot of things .. i want to see my son .. and JvaGirl and me seem to be on alot better terms .. her an I still have a long way to go but its alot better. Some times when a person is stressed its not just them its you to ... instead of the old goodbye ... and make your next prey .. ask yourself What really Happened? Was I really good to her? Did I really love her? Was this ment to be? .. I still have yet to answer many of these questions and dont know when I will.. this isnt something someone should ask you but you to ask yourself .. dont tell others your answers they are for you ..

so many people just say .. if she isnt this and this its over or how bout the big "NEXT" ... if you dont atleast try and listen as I should have done in my past you may find the others darkness is your darkness ..

[Fubarian]

If the girl had issues - and neglected to tell you about it, thats her problem. One of the first things I told my girl was if she wasn't open to me, there wasn't going to be a relationship - that boyfriend DOES include friend. When they keep things from you, thats a problem, if you keep things from her, thats a problem. Communication is the number 1 thing in relationships, which this one seems to lack.

I've been with my girl for just over a year - she knows I'm blunt, up front, and no BS kinda guy, and she's ok with that cause I'm honest (yes, sometimes this is NOT GOOD <IMG SRC="smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0">). She's more reserved, quiet, and won't say a thing, but still tells me when she's not happy, which I like. If you establish this from the get go, your relation with the other will be much better than playing guessing games, and everything wont get piled up like it seems has happened.

[Elbatcho]

Okay you can haddle this two way's, if the girl is coming in with emotional baggage you can either be the door man and carry it and drop off the heavest pieces along the way, or check them at the door. When things go sour it's easy to blame others and take it out on them. Congrats on loosing 15Ibs that's really good. She just need to find a place, she may have thought it was with you but when it went bad decided to blame you for all her problems. Yes women do gain weight when they get comfitable, Cosmo magazine told me this (yes I read cosmos and vogue, it's got great tips and hints) it's a sign they are comfitable. So it's wrong for her to blame you because you made her feel comfitbal. The best thing to do is not to worry about what she is telling you. It's not to say don't be concerned by her actions but don't get caught up in the mind game of It's all your fault. Sometimes you need to take a scorched earth policy durring a break up just to start again. I had a problem like this with my second fiance, (Yes I have been engaged three time's). The problem with her was she was into the Mind FXXX games. I was a mess for three months until I decided I didn't want to play anymore. I just stoped talking to her and when I did I talked about me and all the fun I was having being single. The truth was I was down but she didn't need to know that. She wants you to feel guilty and that's why she is hashing up all the suicide talk and the drugs and the doctors. It's her, she was that way and will be that way. Go out, have fun, be single and do what it takes to be you.