driving around DALLAS

**BC GREEN** · May 23rd, 2002, 10:25 PM

Ah, only in Dallas......

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or
DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own
version of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray."

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10
degrees and sleeting or snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is
going on. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson
Golf Classic is in the second round if it is spring---and it is the
Texas State Fair if it is fall. If you go to the Fair, pay the $5.00
to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parking elsewhere could cost up to
$2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc. If some
guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his "yard,' run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports,
etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING
as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3
to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed
out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting
line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid
crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent
form of entertainment. We had so much fun with that we have added
George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!"

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road,
Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road... all mysteriously
change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW
examples)! The perfect example of this is what is MOSTLY known as
Plano Road. On the south end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive,
cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles
and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. This road ends
in Sherman,65mi.north of dallas.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge
of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Japanese or
Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston
or Live Oak, you better be armed.

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours,
although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds
of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road
is 85. Anything less is considered downright SISSY!

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park are not
ornamental. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

It is possible to be driving WEST in the Northbound lane of EAST
NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. It also ends
in Sherman.

If you need to ask for directions, get ALL the names of the street you
are being told to turn onto...we intermix numbers, letters & names for
the same roads.

If your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.

**geeksRus** · May 23rd, 2002, 10:38 PM

i heard that Fort Worth is the only town left where you have to stop for trains no matter where the hell you're goin.

**BC GREEN** · May 23rd, 2002, 10:47 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by geeksRus:
i heard that Fort Worth is the only town left where you have to stop for trains no matter where the hell you're goin.<hr /></blockquote>true.i worked for the MKTRR back in the early 80`s at the dallas roundhouse.there were about 5or6 different rr switching in the dallas fortworth area. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> 24\7-365.

**FatalException0E** · May 25th, 2002, 04:46 PM

One interesting thing about driving in San Antonio....you can be heading north, make a 90 degree right turn and be going south.

Really, I've done this before, have no idea how it works......and in Austin, when heading north, a 90 degree right turn will take you WEST. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> Yes, I've done that, too......still confuses me to this day. I think I'll go find a map and see if I can figure out how that happened

**Danger** · May 25th, 2002, 08:45 PM

What I like are the 'Intermittent' roads that we have here in Holland. I think it's a law here or something that at least 50% of all the roads must stop at some point, only to continue later. Like 23rd st... which has at least 4dead-ends.

And I Definately understand about the roads that change names... one of the busier streets here changes names from Lakeshore to Butternut to River to Washington to Michigan... and for all I know it may change names several more times.

Oh, and you've got to love the Michigan lefts...

**EvilKlown** · May 25th, 2002, 09:31 PM

As an Ohioan living on the Michigan state line, I would like to chime in saying that I love the "Michigan Left" !!!

**BC GREEN** · May 27th, 2002, 03:28 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by EvilKlown:
As an Ohioan living on the Michigan state line, I would like to chime in saying that I love the "Michigan Left" !!!<hr /></blockquote>

whats that?

**Sandman72** · May 27th, 2002, 08:39 AM

a michigan left is as follows. You are driving north. you come to an intersection and want to go left (west). To do this you have to pass the intersection. Shortly there after will be a little turnaround. You use that and now are now heading south back to the same intersection. When you get to the intersection you can now turn right to go the direction you orignally wanted (west).
I think its a stupid thing but thats a michigan left.

***DonJ*** · May 27th, 2002, 11:12 AM

Sounds like a typical clover leaf configuration to me...

**BC GREEN** · May 28th, 2002, 06:54 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Sandman72:
a michigan left is as follows. You are driving north. you come to an intersection and want to go left (west). To do this you have to pass the intersection. Shortly there after will be a little turnaround. You use that and now are now heading south back to the same intersection. When you get to the intersection you can now turn right to go the direction you orignally wanted (west).
I think its a stupid thing but thats a michigan left.<hr /></blockquote>

ooooooooooooK

**Pyroate** · May 28th, 2002, 09:07 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period.[/QB]<hr /></blockquote>or white cadillacs. Especialy if you can only see the hair.

**ChipCreep** · May 28th, 2002, 02:27 PM

When the Dallas traffic gets to you too much, stop at SaltGrass, get a piece of cheesecake, then go out to Little Elm and buy a house to get out of town.

**Cleetus** · May 28th, 2002, 02:37 PM

Little Elm????? Holy cow!!!!

I remember when that was a trailer town on the water that you could buy liquor at. And I am not really all that old either. Also remember the little hottie from little elm that I dated back in High School.

**ChipCreep** · May 29th, 2002, 08:47 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Little Elm????? Holy cow!!!!

I remember when that was a trailer town on the water that you could buy liquor at. And I am not really all that old either. Also remember the little hottie from little elm that I dated back in High School. <hr /></blockquote>Well, the water's still there, but it's a thriving suburb of Frisco now.

**Cleetus** · May 29th, 2002, 10:00 AM

Ok, Frisco was that slimy little town that you stopped at while driving down Preston past 121 on your way to look at all the trailers full of nice women. Then the alien Dennis Rodman had to move a business there, then they had to build that mega mall, ahhhhh all my old areas to race cars are gone. IT IS NOT A CITY WITH A SUBURB ATTACHED!!!!

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