[RESOLVED] What to do....

[Fubarian]

I know people have asked things along these lines before, but I'm asking something a lil bit different...yes, this has to do with a girl.

Quick background - I've known her for 9-10 years, been great friends, her parents, sister, loves me to death. And they live next door - We're very open with each other, and joke like no one's business - for instance, she'll smart off to me and I'll say something like - yea well, you can't handle none of this so shut yer hole - and she'll come right back at me with a - lets go up stairs then big boy, see who you can handle - (its fun to watch friends of mine's reaction to this kind of talking too )

Anyway, due to my recent singleness (is that even a word??) - I wouldn't mind being with her, and neither would her mom and sister (nice having some backup ) - only problem - she's into partying and going to clubs, so on and so forth.

I've bluntly told her "whenever your ready to settle down, come see me" and her sister told me that when she says something about it, she says she don't want to talk about it - good, bad? I dunno. At this point, I'm looking for someone like her but don't know if I should wait on her or not. --- Ideas???


ps - how bout them bengals?? how bout my custom avatar?

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You kept everything inside, and even thought I tried....it all fell apart - what it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of a time, I tried so hard

In the end, it doesn't even matter.

[window_washer]

Your custom avatar is too big, but otherwise cool...

AS for the girl... well... it seems to me that if you tried to convince her to settle down now... you would be doing both her and yourself a disservice. She sounds like a wild spirit who wouldn't be happy tied to one person right now... maybe when she is older?

Are you the kind of person who can go out and be wild with her? If so, you will discover just how compatible or incompatible the two of you are by doing so.

If this idea is repugnant to you, ask yourself, would you be happy coming home every weekend to an empty house because she was out partying somewhere? Or would she be happy staying home for the sake of your relaitonship?

Sorry if this isn't encouraging... don't take it as gospel truth, I haven't had the love life of Casanova, I;m no authority on women.

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In another lifetime, I USED to be known as Wayward Clam. But the Powers That Be have spoken, so who am I to argue...?

[opiate]

I think all of us have been in this situation at one point. I had a friend and we used to publicly flirt like your talking about. So we were joking around one day when her roommate was gone and she said "let's go f**&^, while no one is here", I said "quit bull****ting because you know I will". She then laughed and I dismissed the thought. She then said, I'll be right back, gotta go to the bathroom. She came back wearing this see through thong and no shirt or bra. enough said....

After all the business was done, I left her place. A few days go by and she calls me wondering why I haven't called her. I asked "I didn't know I was supposed to". She got pissed and said "You’re just like the rest of them" and hung up the phone.

We haven't talked for about 5 months now. I've tried to talk to her but she will not let me explain, I thought we were just having casual s&x.

So an answer to your question. Most good fish get away but you can't always throw back the ones you hook. Meaning you need to be 100% sure things will work out, otherwise sooner or later you will lose a close friend.

Nice pic of your car for the avatar. Cool!
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Never underestimate the power of me. I'm the ultimate a$$hole.

[This message has been edited by opiate (edited October 15, 2001).]

[Fubarian]

Opiate:
Well, considering she lives next door - I doubt she'd worry about me not gettin a hold of her.

...whats worse, I could see her pullin something like that...kinda scary/interesting but anyway. There was one time that she was in the shower and didn't care if I came in, but the curtain was pulled.

Window_washer
Thats what I mean - ya think I should wait or go hunting for another fish? I'm lucky enough to have skipped the whole wild part (drugs, alcohol, the whole 9 yards) and glad that I did and have NO desire to get into it (yea, so what? I'm weird) anyway...wait or find another target?

I've known her long enough and know so much about her that I could wait, but dunno if I want to. Her sister is extremely for me and her being together, as a matter of fact, the day I told her about my break up she says -well now...thats just too bad! You want me to work on my sister, get her looking your way? hehe, and she's serious too

[Spork]

Here, I'll post my thoughts on this.

I dated a girl who was wild, really outgoing, party lover, drinker, flirty, etc.

It's really tough to date one of those girls. She's always wanting to go out, and I was usually in the mood to stay home and relax. I fought like hell to keep that relationship going, but in the end there was nothing there. I dunno, maybe we just dated at the wrong time in her life. I rarely talk to her anymore so I'm not sure what she has been like lately. At the time, I really wanted it to work out, but in the end, I'm really glad it didn't because I met someone much better.

Maybe it's true when they say that good things DO come to those that wait.

P.S. - opiate, I've been in one of those situations before. It's a b!tch because you really don't know what your supposed to do.

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"Damn the man. Save the Empire" Mark - Empire Records

[Fubarian]

Bad thing is - if my plans play out juuuusttt right, I'll be in Colrado in a 18 months, away from everyone I've ever known, cept for the one guy I know who's already out there

[Falcon]

But would you stay if you and her hooked up? Perhaps the answer to that question will answer others.

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Hehe, you're silly.

[kingtbone]

If it's not your style to go out and party like that, then there's not much you can do about it. Still, there's a lot to be said for the drunk and high casual sex ever few weekends... I'd give it a shot if you've got the opportunity

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Posts look pretty stupid without the signature, so here it is.

[ericabob]

This is a tough one...like falcon said...would you stay if you two got together? Think about this situation in the long run...would she move, would you stay? Would the relationship last that long? (I know you can't really answer that question, but you should know if this is going to be a serious relationship or not)

Whatever you choose to do, have faith in it, it's the right decision!

Good luck!

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THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

[Falcon]

Something to think about:

You made mention of "playful flirting", sexual flirting to be precise. Perhaps your curiosity over a relationship is merely curiosity of exploring(extending, if you will) the playful, fun flirting to a more physical manifestation. Sex is a very confusing instrument. The emotions that you could be feeling for the individual could be physical in nature and disquise themselves as emotion. I've often made the mistake of mistaking physical attraction for emotional. It's a difficult decision. However, I think that given the little description that you've allowed us(she parties, you don't; you flirt heavily together), I would say that perhaps this might be the case of confusing your attractions.

You're recently single. Perhaps your first instinct is to find someone else right away. I would recommend against that. Don't rush into another relationship. As dorky as it sounds, wait. Your friend knows that you just broke it off. If she wants a relationship, my guess is she'll make it apparent after she lets you have a period of time to get over the previous relationship(that she deems adequate). That way, you don't bring baggage to the new one. Play it cool for awhile. 18 months is a long period of time. Rushing into it might turn her off.

But, of course, I don't really know the situation at all, and I am just speculating.


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Hehe, you're silly.

[This message has been edited by Falcon (edited October 15, 2001).]

[Fubarian]

Well, I will say 1 thing, I come first and foremost. So as for moving, if she'd come or not, wouldn't really be a question. I'm going where the money is - stright up.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not selfish, as a matter of fact, my last gf said I did too much (she felt unworthy ) and I've done a lot for her in years past, just been there for her whenever she needed me. I on the other hand, don't need her for a shoulder to cry on, to b#!@% to, so on and so forth, its just not my way, and besides that, its my problem(s), I'll deal with them as I see fit.

Anyway - I don't think its a sexual attraction, granted, on a physical stand point, she's fine. Personallity I'd have to rate her a 10, she's a lot like me, loud when necessary, up front, honest, ya know, insane like me

As for a relationship right off the termination of another - I would've picked her up when I was single a 1 1/2 years back, but she was with someone (that treated her like s#$@) but she was somewhat happy....how I dunno, but I missed out once before and I feel that if I let her go right by my freakin face, I'm gonna hate it for the rest of my life.

Unfortuneately, I trusted very few people. In H.S. I had a tight group of 4 (out of 2300 total in the school) that I trusted unconditionally, knew they'd tell me anything they knew that'd be useful. She was the female out of that group, the only.

Something that's becomming a major issue I guess is trust. My last gf's have done nothing but dissapointed me by taking my trust like its nothing. I know she wouldn't do something like that, and I know ...well, I'm pretty d#@% sure no one else is like her. Thats why I wanna nab her while I can.

[AbSoLuTeZeR0]

hmmm well there is this girl i hang out with me and her are kool and joke around. when we first met we liked each other and there was a point when i kissed her (just a kiss nothing happened) but it didnt work out and we became friends that was four years ago. i like her as a friend but sometimes i wonder what if we became more than friends, but i dont want to ruin a friendship, i know she likes me as a friend so we just leave it as friends. last year i did end up scoring with her best friend but that didnt last long and i dont talk to her best friend anymore. but now we just remain as friend and hangout and talk.
i dont want to do something dumb that would ruin our friendship, so i just search for other fish

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I am the dreamer, You are the dream

[Fubarian]

good point.

I guess I didn't mention this either, but uh, she kisses me openly - in front of other people, and she don't care (hell, I don't mind either ) ...hehehe, her best friend I've known for....lets see...6 months less than I've known her (9-10 years!) - she's "the other" neighbor she's cool though.

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You kept everything inside, and even thought I tried....it all fell apart - what it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of a time, I tried so hard

In the end, it doesn't even matter.

[Joker1]

<font face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, Geneva" size="2">Originally posted by Fubarian:
You kept everything inside, and even thought I tried....it all fell apart - what it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of a time, I tried so hard

In the end, it doesn't even matter.
</font>

This has been buggin me all day, but i cant listen to my tunes at work.

Now that im home i can with certainty say:
A HA! it is Linkin Park

Nice choice of sig!!!



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There are no stupid questions! Just stupid (l)users!

[Fubarian]

yep, and it fits.

You (meaning my ex) kept everything inside, and even thought I tried....it all fell apart - what it meant to me, will eventually be a memory of a time, I tried so hard

In the end it doesn't even matter! I had to fall to lose it all, in the end, it doesn't even matter.