things I have learned from living with chimps

Often my Father would take me to the zoo so I could play with my friends the Chimpanzee's. They were fun but crule and I learned serval key things about them in a short time.

1) They hate loud noises.
2) Have no concept of what a joke is.
3) Like Pizza but hate topping so they are not very much fun.
4) Will attack if given half the chance.
5) Have no word in their Chimp languge for stop and no that really hurts.
6) Don't have any really tools but can fashion a club in a couple of seconds and use very well.
7) A unnatural distrust of Gap cargo pants.
8) Will never stop attacking unless somthing else catches their small minded attention.
9) Enjoy playing toss the Kitten.
10) Value snot as a foundation of there diet.
11) View smiling with bare teeth a threat and will rip of limbs if given half the chance.