This is me:

Company F***-Off.
You make your co-workers green with envy, as you make more money that most of them, and no one can figure out what the hell you do. You greet every request or task with the phrase "That's not my department", and pass the buck along to someone else.
You are most comfortable locked up in your office, with the phone off the hook. You excel at arts crafts, such as making paper airplanes and doodling pictures of naked chicks.
You will find your perfect mate by the water cooler.