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April 25th, 2001, 09:19 PM
#1
[RESOLVED] Now THIS is a good one.
*NOTE: Actual AP news article, I kid you not."
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up, with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied
that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone
noticed and came to her aid.
And, yes, Lisa is a blonde.
*Sorry if this offended any blondes in the audience. *
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April 25th, 2001, 09:37 PM
#2
Sounds remarkably similar to the book 'Arrowshot Woman' from the game Daggerfall.
I can't get lost, everyone tells me where to go.
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April 25th, 2001, 10:08 PM
#3
Man I'm embarassed just from reading that one!
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April 25th, 2001, 10:22 PM
#4
LOL
I'm just a sinner saved by grace.
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April 26th, 2001, 01:20 AM
#5
After that, I bet she wished it was her brains all over the seat.
I'm just a little mushroom. always kept in the dark...
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April 26th, 2001, 03:53 AM
#6
I heard that before one time, I wonder if it's true????
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April 26th, 2001, 08:27 AM
#7
I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather,
than screaming in terror like his passengers. Jim Harkins
<a href="http://www.Horrible.Demon.co.uk/" target="_blank">http://www.Horrible.Demon.co.uk/</a>
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April 26th, 2001, 09:35 AM
#8
I've heard that one before, but in the version I heard she was naked and had put peanut butter on her self and was calling her dog's name, while drinking coke and eating pop rocks.
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April 26th, 2001, 10:57 AM
#9
Elbatcho's version sounds way better!
Never let the facts get in the way of a carefully thought out bad idea!
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April 26th, 2001, 11:07 AM
#10
Oh well, Urban legend or not, it's still funny.
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April 26th, 2001, 11:39 AM
#11
Originally posted by Elbatcho:
I've heard that one before, but in the version I heard she was naked and had put peanut butter on her self and was calling her dog's name, while drinking coke and eating pop rocks.
and on the phone with the killer upstairs
"Computers are useless, they can only give you answers"
-Pablo Picasso
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April 26th, 2001, 11:51 AM
#12
Originally posted by Kyr0n:
and on the phone with the killer upstairs
With a car behind her flashing it's high beems trying to tell her the hitchiker is in the back seet of her car, whilethe guy she just slept with is writing on her mirrors welcome to the world of HIV.
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April 26th, 2001, 12:02 PM
#13
Registered User
Pillsbury dough boy 1 point!
Life is like a bowl of rotten cherries that molden over
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April 26th, 2001, 12:20 PM
#14
lol...ha ha ha I needed that. Actually I have a friend her name is Lisa and she is blond and I always give her a hard time about it. Wait untill she hears this one...ha ha ha.
To each his/her own.
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April 27th, 2001, 07:40 AM
#15
Originally posted by Elbatcho:
With a car behind her flashing it's high beems trying to tell her the hitchiker is in the back seet of her car, whilethe guy she just slept with is writing on her mirrors welcome to the world of HIV.
...and when she checked her back there were a couple of fresh scars with stitches and a note that read "get to a hospital quick 'cos we've taken your kidneys"...
I'd rather die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather,
than screaming in terror like his passengers. Jim Harkins
<a href="http://www.Horrible.Demon.co.uk/" target="_blank">http://www.Horrible.Demon.co.uk/</a>
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