I got the e-mail which I just had to share.

[Papa Smurf]

Boyz and Girlz. I received this e-mail from a friend today which I thought I would share. Its all about the tactics involved in chatting up the opposite sex who are in groups.

E-mail as follows :-


There is a man out there. He waits in the shadows. He always appears on cue, and rarely fails at his assigned task. He can blend in with the crowd or become the center of attention. He's your buddy. Your friend.

‘Nope. Even more frightening.....Hes' your Wingman.

Yes, the legendary wingman. The man who "takes one for the team," "jumps on the grenade," and generally keeps someone else occupied while you're "engaging the primary target." Now, the secondary target isn't always a prize. Sometimes, they're downright scary. You know who they are.

The "friend that drove us here."

The "we have to leave now" or "we have to get up early" girl.

The "if you think you're going home with her, you're sadly mistaken" friend.

The "HELLO? We're having a girls' night out here" girl.

You get the idea. Usually, it's some skank who you could care less about, but you have to distract so you can talk to her friend.

This feeds into the long-standing theory that attractive people seek out ugly friends, to make themselves feel even more attractive. This is how the attractive folks then become the leaders of these little groups. But they also use the not-as-attractive friends as human shields, practically screaming: "If you want me, you'll have to find matches for my band of girl-goyles."

Enter the wingman.

Selfless beings, wingmen are generally just happy to be there for you. Some wingmen even find joy in playing decoy. Guys and gals, we've all been there. You spot the one you want across the crowded room. Then, out of fear, shyness, or sheer cowardice, you can't bring yourself to walk up to the object of your affection alone. Walking up to a crowd of guys (or girls) to talk to only one of them is rarely a winning proposition.

So, you walk over with your winger. Hell, sometimes a whole squadron will have to be scrambled for the mission. Sometimes, you're the winger. Whatever. You strike up a conversation. You move in. The winger covers your six. It's a beautiful thing.

And you can never predict how your mission will turn out. Sometimes, the wingman does better than you. Sometimes the human shields are more appealing than the primary target. Sometimes, you get shot down. Sometimes, your wingers get shot down and you have to abort because you lost your cover. And of course, sometimes the mission is a success.

There are many who sit in the hallowed halls of flight history for acts of sheer bravery -- going above and beyond the call of duty -- doing the equivalent of a kamikazi. Yes, I mean taking the secondary target home. A moment of silence for those brave, brave wingers.

....
....

Oh yeah... ...sometimes you fly right into a heavy combat zone, where she (or he) was good (looking) from far, but far from good. Definite mission abort. And it's not easily done with grace. The best maneuver? Pretend she was someone you thought you knew, apologize, and walk away.

But, you ask, who makes the best wingman? This is pretty simple.

A. Ugly friends of your own. You know you have 'em. They're nice, fun, and cool, but kinda lost the lottery on looks. You love 'em to death, but you also know that they're perfect for your mission objectives. It's OK to admit you have ugly friends.

B. Hot friends who don't know they're hot. Be careful, these are the wingers who accidentally blow you right out of the sky. I have several of these in my squadron.

C. Married or dating people. Perfect. These people have nothing to lose. To them, flying wing is "just talking." The key here is having them save the "I have a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband/lover" sentence until the very end of the conversation.

D. Friends who just don't care. 'Nuff said.

...And who makes a poor wingman?

A. Dorks.

B. Drunk guy. He'll crash and burn and nip your wing on his way down. You'll end the night as a smoldering heap of what used to be dignity.

C. Boring guys. Nothing worse than having to turn around and bail out your own wingman.


-End-

Being honest this would of probably appealed to me 8 years ago but at the moment PapaSmurf would rather be sitting in the officers' club, polishing my medals and reminiscing about when I used to fly. It's tiring.


Cheers
Papa"My Wings are Clipped"Smurf

[NooNoo]

Poor Smurf - comitted forever to being someone elses wingman....

[Draggar]

Originally posted by NooNoo
Poor Smurf - comitted forever to being someone elses wingman....

But he has Smurfette....

'Nuff said.

[Toppro]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[bigpiper]

******inate

p***word

b***oon

cl***

yep... I thought so... filters a little touchy, huh????

[Papa Smurf]

Originally posted by NooNoo
Poor Smurf - comitted forever to being someone elses wingman....

Nah I've always prefered working alone. Last time I engaged the enemy I was out numbered 7-1.

The "squadron" and myself were on a routine scouting mission late one staturday night. We were running low on fuel so most of the sqaudron decided to head to the bar for a refill. On my flight towards the bar my long range radar picked up a very attractive target. I scanned a little closer and found out the target was protected by 5 others.

I tried to call for backup but the rest of my team were out of range the could see me or hear me. Dang!!! I checked my own fuel supply half a bottle of bud and it was going fast. I had to make a move....without backup. I moved towards the primary target and almost instantly I was attacked from 2 of her squad I didnt pick up. They must of had stealth technology fitted. By this time I was commited, I shook off the 2 bogies on my tail and mamanged to engage the primary target. The primary target must of thought she would at least toy with me for a while as the other seemed to move into a covering position on the watch incase the leader wanted to bail.

By this time my mates had seen the situation I was in and came in to give me some cover fire. The attack was strong but the defence was good. They eventually got beaten back leaving me under heavy fire. If I was to win the battle I had to break the primary target awy from the group. While she was in the protection of the group she was untouchable. I took a risk I was very low on fuel now and my warning lights were flashing to get resupplyed soon. So I asked her if she would like to go and get some more fuel at the bar.

She said yes.....woot woot.

I bought her a drink and managed a bit of one on one comabt. She could hold her own but I won her over. It was a tough fight but I won in a battle I will remember for a long while. That was nearly 2 years ago and I'm now "engaged" in a long campaign with her. My flight suit is hung up now and I only fly the friendly skies to relax and no longer engaged the enemy in direct combat.

Cheers
Papa"Wing Commander"Smurf