Lawyers have hit an all-time low...

[Draggar]

"Have you driven without insurance?
How about on a suspended lisence?
Some areas require jail time for these.
We're here to keep you from going to jail.

We also will help you in the cases of:
Wreckless driving,
D.U.I.
Driving in a stolen car
Driving to endanger

We're here to help you so you don't have to pay victims or in jail time.

Call us at XXX
*********************************8

Yes, I saw a commercial for this lawfirm last night.

WHO THE F*** WOULD DEFEND THESE PEOPLE????

"Your honor, my client might have had a blood alcohol content of 2.5 and killed 3 members of the plaintif's family, but my client is the real victim here"

I wish I had the sence to write down the number and name, but it was 1:30am and I was about to go to bed...

"Your honor, yes, my client deliberatly ran 3 cars off the road, struck 2 pedestrians and drove though a school zone when school was getting out at speeds over 100 miles per hour, but my client is a victim here"

Yeah, right. I hope this lawfirm rots in hell.

(Only in NJ)

[Stalemate]

Reasons: cash and absence of a soul.

[Spaceman Spiff]

Satan Drives A Hard Bargain

After five years of toil at a Wall Street law firm, an associate was burning the midnight oil at his office. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a tower of smoke burst from the floor. Satan stepped out of the smoke, and addressed the lawyer. "I understand you'd give absolutely anything to make partner," said the devil, "So I've come here to make you an offer. I'll make you a partner, but in return I will take the souls of your wife, your parents, your children, your grandchildren, and all of your friends."

The lawyer looked strangely puzzled, and thought hard for several minutes. Finally, he turned to Satan and asked, "What's the catch?"


The Fence

It seems that there's a fence between Heaven and Hell, which had fallen into disrepair. St. Peter sought out Satan.

"Hey, Satan, it's your turn to fix the fence. The big guy says it looks awful. Get it done."

"I like the way it looks," Satan answered. "I'm not doing anything."

"You have to," said St. Peter. "It's your duty. You signed a contract when we built the fence, and you are obligated to repair it."

"You think I care about that contract?" asked Satan. "You should know better than that. I said I am not doing anything, and if you don't leave me alone, I may just tell you what you can do with that contract."

"If you don't make the repairs," St. Peter said angrily, "The law will make you. If you don't live up to your obligations under the contract, we'll sue you."

"Sue me?" Satan couldn't help laughing. "Where are YOU gonna get a lawyer?"

[silencio]

New low? Hehe. That's not low. F. Lee Bailey is low.

[Fubarian]

Wreckless driving -- heh, I could get that just driving day by day