Stupid labels

**Draggar** · July 15th, 2002, 08:48 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Commander Klarg:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Scuba Steve:

In tiny print: "(Side effects include..........EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA AND THE INABILITY TO CONTROL IT....)"
<hr /></blockquote>OMG!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>I'll second that...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

**Zil** · July 15th, 2002, 09:40 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sign said "How may I help you" or a person?
<hr /></blockquote>It was a sign which is why I was confused. Why the hell would you put up a sign that says "How may I help you" when no one is there?

**TheLow1** · July 31st, 2002, 09:00 AM

I once saw a jar of handcleaner that had the HAZMAT warning
"Use gloves and goggles" How in the world are you going to get your hands clean in the gloves????

**format c:** · August 1st, 2002, 02:08 AM

I once worked in an under ground parking garage and we had these warning stickers on the gate arm boxes warning you not to open up the box and put your hand in there because of moving gears
The decal had a picture of two gears with a hand caught in them, the fingers were all zig zaged , My boss and I would comment on those decals
I guess these companies have to have the dumb labels to cover their butts legaly from the lemmings that actaully do these stupid acts
Now I will be paying more attention for dumb labels

**CodeDragon** · August 1st, 2002, 09:44 AM

This was on the European Space Agency Website:

"ESA is sponsoring Spaceguard, a worldwide astronaut tracking project that aims to plot the orbits of all Earth-crossers; more than 300 have been logged so far."

Guess you yanks have sent more guys up there than you're letting on, huh?

CD

**Outcoded** · August 1st, 2002, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by Zil
<blockquote>quote:<hr />
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Zil:
I saw this sign at a closed service desk in a grocery store:

"The Service desk is closed. How may I help you?"

WTF?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sign said "How may I help you" or a person?
<hr /></blockquote>It was a sign which is why I was confused. Why the hell would you put up a sign that says "How may I help you" when no one is there?

You've not worked in retail have you?

That sort of thing exists to piss customers off

**Platypus** · August 11th, 2002, 08:06 AM

On a box of Maxell floppy disks I just bought, there are 3 claimed features:

"Error-resistant" - * I hope so...

"Anti-Mold" - * Fair enough...

"Energy-Saving " - * Eh?? A floppy disk that turns itself off after a while?

**Zil** · August 14th, 2002, 04:12 AM

Originally posted by Outcoded

You've not worked in retail have you?

That sort of thing exists to piss customers off

LOL, I just got my first technology job this year after serving steaks to ppl like me for 7 years.

**Llanelli** · August 23rd, 2002, 12:02 PM

Found on a piece of software we recenetly installed for our clients:
"Now with an easier to use GUI User interface!"

On a sign in a cafeteria I was eating
"Special of the day: Roast Beef Sandwich au jus with juice"

And a classic, Im sure you've heard of, but I swear to goodness we have a local place with a sign that reads:
"Tattoos while you wait!"

BTW, if you were a French guy at a Spanish Soccer game, would you hear the chant, With Milk, With Milk with Milk, With Milk

Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole

**JAce** · August 23rd, 2002, 07:53 PM

I know this kind of off subject,but the last one applies:

The Stella Awards

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards.

Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award ?

The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The following are this year's candidates:

1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

3. A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded
$14,500.00 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, PA $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the
owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while MS Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.

(Winnebago actually changed their handbooks after this court
case, just in case there are any other complete morons buying their vehicles.)

**techs** · August 25th, 2002, 05:00 PM

ROFL!!!!!!

**Stalemate** · August 26th, 2002, 11:54 AM

Originally posted by JAce
And the winner is:

Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City. In November 2000 Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie.

I'm not sure if the term "winner" applies here.

**styxenstones** · August 27th, 2002, 05:54 PM

Originally posted by MacGyver
On a bottle of maple syrup:

"Bottle may break if dropped"

What a mess that would be!

Big mess... and i've managed to break a plastic bottle

**Outcoded** · August 28th, 2002, 06:40 PM

Had an absolute idiot in the shop today having a go over one of the staff leaving a "wet floor" sign in the middle of the aisle.

The six foot wide aisle that is, that didn't have anyone but afore mentioned ****wit on it, and he managed to trip straight over it, claiming he didn't see it (our wet floor signs are 2 feet tall and bright yellow).

I'm still waiting for either:
a) The lawsuit or
b) The formal complaint over what I said to him.

Dumb signs are there for dumb people. Maybe we should have just let him slip and fall on his arse.

Just remember, the customer is always right, til they leave, then you can laugh.

**Draggar** · August 30th, 2002, 10:57 PM

Originally posted by Outcoded
Just remember, the customer is always right, til they leave, then you can laugh.

From the Demotivators:

Apathy:
"If we don't help our customers, maybe they'll stop bugging us"

Thread: Stupid labels

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