The Night Before Christmas (gamer style...)

[Delbruc]

Just thought I'd share this with you... An original creation by me...

1337 Kristmas By Delbruc (with apologies to Major Henry Livingston Jr.)


T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a gamer was stirring, not even an optical mouse

The PC’s were humming in the corner, sucking air

In the hopes that 1337 |\|1C|<, would soon ‘port there



The young frAggers had all crashed on top of their beds,

While visions of Complete Domination played in their heads

And mamma tagged “Mischief” and I bustin’ a cap

Had just settled in for a pause while DoD changed the map.



When from the server tower there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my seat, fearing loss of a platter

Away to the server, we flew like a flash

Tore open the case, “Oh, CRAP, its crashed!!”



The flicker of the neon mounted to the side,

Gave a greenish hue to all parts inside.

When, pulling into my driveway, what should appear

But a service van, with eight tiny tech’s, Oh Dear!



With a little old driver, carrying a HUGE boomstick!

We knew right away, it HAD to be 1337 |\|1C|<

Hopped outta the van toward the game server they came,

1337 |\|1c|< called them all by name



“Go, SLASHER, re-boot GASHER, re-install LANCER and HotViXXXen!

Update GROMMET, log-in SHUPID, play SPANNER and BLITZKRIEGEN

To the top of the rank ladder, top of them all

Kill Nazi’s faster and faster, Kill ‘em ALL!”



Man, you shoulda seen those little guys Fly!

Over and over, they made the Nazi soldiers die!

So back to our PC’s mamma and I flew,

To lend backup to 1337 |\|1c|< ‘s crew!



Then with a keyboard clicking, I heard a small “poof”

Looked at the scoreboard, then I had proof

That 1337 |\|1c|< had joined the game, with that little sound

Now the Nazi rat-bastards would be stomped to the ground!



His player model dressed in camo, from head to toe,

You KNEW this fatty was ready to GO!

With a bundle of grenades slung on his rucksack

He looked like a Demo expert, just waiting for the attack





His eyes – How they twinkled, his ghillie suit all hairy

His trigger finger itchy, his scowl not Merry.

His clean M-1 Carbine drawn close, just so

No Nazis able to hide from his bad-*** glow



A stump of a cigar, held tight in his teeth,

Smoke circled his head, like a deadly wreath.

He was ready to rock, to pump rounds in the Nazi belly

He shot, and said AW-NAW, just like Nelly



He was lean ‘n mean in-game, a righteous player himself

I was excited to play on his team, in spite of myself

With a flick of his wrist and a nod of his head

Soon gave me to know, opponents filled with dread



He team-chatted not a word, but went right to killing

And took all the cap points, with all of us supporting

All the while, thumbing his nose,

To the top of the team rank ladder we rose



At that, he ran to the van, and gave his team the sign

And away they all zoomed, nearly clipping that pine

But I heard 1337 |\|1c|< exclaim, just in time

Happy Christmas to all, and a FRAGGIN’ Good time!

[ephmynus]

I'm guessing everyone's trying to be nice.... that was pretty ghey.

[Delbruc]

And I am *sure* everyone else would do lots better and develop Shakespearean quality prose with just ten minutes of thier spare time...

Geez, can't anyone appreciate the fact that I was just trying to be light-hearted and wish you all a happy holiday season? Man, the web community "in-general" is so damn jaded...

Thanks for nothing.

D

[Darkstar]

Yeah, well your Care Bear avatar is teh gheyest! They were cool for like 5 minutes in the mid-80's, and even then only if you were of pants-sh!tt!ng age.

I appreciate your wordsmanship, D. Even if seeing Christmas stuff after Christmas makes me nauseous.