America's Salvation

[Jediab]

Here is a funny quote from Robbin Williams. I am not sure when he said these things, but I think these would be some of the best ways to help improve America. I also think it will make a lot of other people in the world happy as well.

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy-wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

9A) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

11) "The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

- Robbin Williams

[MacGyver]

Originally posted by Jediab
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy-wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

Hardee-har-har-har! The largest consumer of energy in the whole world. Ummm, yeah right. And guess where you get most of that energy from

[MacGyver]

Originally posted by Jediab
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

Fine, you can get your oil from Canada for $50 a barrel. If you don't like it, you can just freeze your buns off during the winter. After all, it doesn't get that cold in Minnesota, does it?

[Rellik]

Interesting list, but only the 11th item is from Robin Williams.

[Jediab]

Ahh ok thanks for the clarification. As usual, sometimes ya never know who said what in this world. I got it in a an e-mail, and as we all know, information from e-mails are always reliable.....

But I like the list non-the less, no matter who said it.

[confus-ed]

No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in

So when they find 'no smoking gun' ... you'll all have to leave ? .... .... I suppose that'll cut your energy consumption anyways !

[Stalemate]

I like the way this list acters to both sides of the issue and finds a more "balanced" opinion - if anything from Robin Williams can be described as "balanced".

The Snopes page cleared up my confusion as to how a Canadian (or ex-Canadian) could give advice of this nature when his own country was working soooooooooo well.

Good find.