PUN-ishments

**Platypus** · September 13th, 2006, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by CCT

bear with me

Along a road in the backwoods, someone was offering homebrew. Their wonky sign read:

"HOMEMADE BEAR"

Underneath someone had chalked "All your own bruin?"

**slgrieb** · September 15th, 2006, 04:58 PM

Since Halloween is approaching:

On Halloween night a lady hears the door bell ring and opens the door with candy in hand. Standing on the doorstep is a very small boy dressed as a pirate.

"Oh, my!" she gushed, "What a cute little pirate! But where are your Buccaneers?"

"Geez!" replied the boy, "Where do you think? They're under my buccan hat!"

**CCT** · September 15th, 2006, 05:37 PM

Dr. Phileus Quod spent years developing gene-splicing ang gene-therepy techniques, and was uniquely successful is salvaging and replicating many 'extinct' genetic patterns that have since been spliced into present-day creatures nearing extinction themselves to further propogate their existance.

Finally, the great genius died.

As his eulogy, a famous song writer composed a tribute to him - it didn't go over well in Britain.

It was called 'Quod Save the Gene!'

**street1** · September 15th, 2006, 06:34 PM

OH MY Guts3d! You sure opened a can of worms.

Wonder who cans them?Hummm

oooey gooey was a worm , a mighty worm was he .
he climbed upon a railroad track , the train he did
not see . OOOEY , , GOOEY ...

http://www.wormbins.com/

**CCT** · September 15th, 2006, 07:10 PM

The ship had coasted for weeks under a relentless, searing sky - only a slight wind, just enough to move them southward - their provisions near gone, they were at deaths door.

The captain asked the drunken navigator:

'Do ye have a ken of where we be laddy?'

To which the navigator answered slurringly:

'Buoys will be buoys, don't ya know!'

**slgrieb** · September 16th, 2006, 01:57 PM

A mother skunk and her offspring were crossing a pasture, when they were suddenly surrounded by a pack of hungry coyotes. Knowing that death was near, the mother skunk turned to her babies and said, "Come, children! Let us spray!"

**CCT** · September 16th, 2006, 02:05 PM

In a small Los Angeles lesbian cafe, a dark beauty served tables from 3 'til 8 pm every day. She had been raised in a commune by her parents, the Robinson's, and of course by all the other parents and adults, all trying to be 'as one' with nature. She was named Thyme Robinson.

She worked there for several years without incident, until Liberal legislation was enacted to enforce equallity rights at gay establishments.

She quit forthwith!

As they should have known: Thyme waits for no man!

**street1** · September 17th, 2006, 09:58 AM

Two cannon balls got married and had BB's.

Baseball is wrong......A man with 4 balls can't walk.

Fart in church...Sit alone in the pew.

If you think your number one,then your next to nothing.

**Pluto** · September 19th, 2006, 05:48 AM

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr
the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit
and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses
and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

**Drone2903** · September 19th, 2006, 01:35 PM

I heard there's a new pirate movie out today. I don't know the name of it, but I hear is rated 'Arrrr'

**slgrieb** · September 19th, 2006, 04:30 PM

Pluto, Pluto, Pluto. I have to think that you either have no idea what this thread is about, or you are jealous, or maybe both. I won't dignify your post with a response, so here is an undignified response. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9...elated&search=