My bios noticed when it was disconnected and it auto recognized

Do you mean it didn't matter if your dvdrom was connected or disconnected, the bios still showed it? If so, you need to set nvram or escd to enable when you remove the drive to force the bios to update.. and same again when you reconnect it.

As for the cable, yes, it can make a big difference. You need a standard 40 wire cable for that I think.