Just a little something I wrote yesterday. Hope you all like it



Dear World
A Letter From Santa


My name is friggin Santa Claus
You had better get it right
I only come round once a year
In the middle of the night

I make toys for all the children
And for grown up kids as well
They all sit on Santa's knee
And whine and have a yell


Please Santa Claus I want a bike
I want a skateboard or two
Give me a brand new surfboard
It makes me want to spew

You always say that you've been good
But we both know different
remember behind the woodshed
and the friendly crabby's that I sent


I ho ho here, I ho ho there
And get fatter by the day
I smile and grin and wave a lot
And ignore what you have to say


You ask for gold and diamonds
I brings you socks and pants instead
You think your getting what you want
i bring you lumps of lead.



I haven't seen my toes in years
My bum scrapes on the ground
I wear a stupid red suit
And a sac that weighs a pound

I'm married to a bloomin' witch
They call her Mrs Claus
I'm always walking eggshells
She's always bangin' doors



She's mean an yells and stamps a lot
And gets rags on all the year
I love it when she gets that mad
She blows wind out from her rear


But she cooks me chocolate brownies
So I think I'll keep her around
And those delicious yummy pork chops
That make my belly face the ground

I've got some bloody reindeer
along with a very stupid one
They call him Rudolph red nose
I could just kick him up the bum



He gets into my woodshed
And leaves his SH*T in there
He sneaks into my rum room
and gets pissed as a polar bear


I'm sure the elves are growing weed
Out beyond the garden shed
They sneak out there for hours
And come back inside a bloodshot red





I party with the tooth fairy
the easter bunny comes to stay
I dig it when they come around
It means it's time to play