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May 2nd, 2008, 11:59 AM
#1
Registered User
Actual Ticket Titles, please contribute
I work as desktop Support for a company and we usually get some tickets that I would like to share with others. So yeah, so my fellow desktop support, we read some of these and I just decided I would share with Windrivers. Please feel free to add your as well. Oh, and our helpdesk cant spell, so if you have those typos too, please contribute and make our work day at least a bit more comical.
These are a few in our queue right now:
“User is having problems with Microsoft Windows application software.”
“system intermittently freezin gup”
“User's Laptop runs extremely slow.”
“new system last week”
“mouse is acting strange”
“Dirty Copies on printers”
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May 2nd, 2008, 01:32 PM
#2
Registered User
Not really a ticket but it was a freudian slip of sorts. Back in 98 I had a client asking me if a product was worth getting and I told them that the Norton Crash Generator was a decent product. I was supposed to tell them about the box of Norton Crash Guard they had brought up to me. That made a wonderful explanatory discussion.
One Script to rule them all.
One Script to find them.
One Script to bring them all,
and clean up after itself.
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May 2nd, 2008, 01:49 PM
#3
Registered User
My fave is Microsoft Internet Exploder.
" I don't like the idea of getting shot in the hand" -Blackie in "Rustlers Rhapsody"
" It is a proud and lonely thing, to be a Stainless Steel Rat." - Slippery Jim DiGriz
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May 2nd, 2008, 02:08 PM
#4
Driver Terrier
I still get emails saying that the email doesn't work...
Never, ever approach a computer saying or even thinking "I will just do this quickly."
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May 2nd, 2008, 03:46 PM
#5
Registered User
Another one: "User cannot turn the computer on."
To which I reply: "Did you try rubbing it gently and whispering sweet nothings?"
" I don't like the idea of getting shot in the hand" -Blackie in "Rustlers Rhapsody"
" It is a proud and lonely thing, to be a Stainless Steel Rat." - Slippery Jim DiGriz
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May 2nd, 2008, 06:51 PM
#6
Registered User
Originally Posted by Guts3d
Another one: "User cannot turn the computer on."
To which I reply: "Did you try rubbing it gently and whispering sweet nothings?"
This one gave me a smile
Last thing I remember, running for the door,
I had to find the passage back to the place
I was before.
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May 3rd, 2008, 10:43 AM
#7
Registered User
Another: " Customer kicked computer, now it won't boot".
Supposedly, he kicked it accidentally.
" I don't like the idea of getting shot in the hand" -Blackie in "Rustlers Rhapsody"
" It is a proud and lonely thing, to be a Stainless Steel Rat." - Slippery Jim DiGriz
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May 7th, 2008, 08:14 AM
#8
Registered User
I once got one saying a gal had 'lost her hoverability' (when she put her mouse over something the info didn't display like normal) I stopped by and told her that's something women do over public toilets as far as I'm concerned, she'd better see a dr.
Failure is not an option -- its a "feature" of Windows.
Mama never told me geekhood was gonna be like this....
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May 7th, 2008, 02:07 PM
#9
Registered User
Here are some latest:
Laptop T61 - Running VERY slow; locking up (capitalizing very )
This guy keeps putting in tickets to try to get an upgrade:
User has a T43 laptop and is requesting a new battery. Battery lasts only around an hour.
He sent in a user request form for an update, reason = yeah I need an X-61 cause the T-43 is too heavy on my shoulder strap..
I hate those tickets with system running slow and helpdesk doesn’t do any troubleshooting, no info for us. And its the same few users too.. They keep requesting upgrades and then a month later.. “system slow.” PICNIC users.. (problem in chair not in computer).. And this company has all users as admins so you wonder why I get so many tickets..
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May 8th, 2008, 06:17 PM
#10
Registered User
It just dawned on me if you want to see some fantastic tickets of an absurd nature check out "The Chronicles of George". George is known for havening lots of fun tickets. (yes I know I typed having wrong)
http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/tickets1.htm
One Script to rule them all.
One Script to find them.
One Script to bring them all,
and clean up after itself.
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May 9th, 2008, 11:32 AM
#11
Chat Operator
the all time most descriptive one i saw had " ... " as the problem
<Ferrit> Take 1 live chicken, cut the head off, dance around doing the hokey pokey and chanting: GO AWAY BAD VIRUS, GO AWAY BAD VIRUS
-----------------------
Windows 7 Pro x64
Asus P5QL Deluxe
Intel Q6600
nVidia 8800 GTS 320
6 gigs of Ram
2x60 gig OCZ Vertex SSD (raid 0)
WD Black 750 gig
Antec Tri power 750 Watt PSU
Lots of fans
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May 16th, 2008, 10:32 AM
#12
Registered User
client is trying to read archived emails - Desktop would need to hellp this user with readin
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