The best ficticious computer terms ever!

[Revenant]

What's wrong with RIMM? It's a valid term-not fictitious. Unless she really needed DIMMs then I really fail to see the humor. Unless you want to laugh at the outrageous cost of a RIMM...


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What's this button d--

[pga]

Originally posted by ledrichard:
just earlier today. one of my co-workers comes in and asks me if we have any RIMMS to upgrade her machine with. I tell her that the only RIMMS that I know about are on my truck. These won't fit would they ?????

ummm... err.. huh? I'd have to agree with Revenant.

RIMM: Rambus Inline Memory Modules is basically RDRAM: Rambus Dynamic Random Access Memory

expensive yes, stupid to buy right now yes..

although truck rim's and tailgates do cost a pretty penny too...

[ledrichard]

Well guys I know I wasn't clear on what machine this lady had. She brought in an old packard bell 486 desktop and she insisted that her nephew (the family computer expert) said that those are the fastest memory chips that will work with her machine. It took her almost an hour to finally trust me and buy 30-pins simms instead!!!!1

[pga]

Originally posted by ledrichard:
Well guys I know I wasn't clear on what machine this lady had. She brought in an old packard bell 486 desktop and she insisted that her nephew (the family computer expert) said that those are the fastest memory chips that will work with her machine. It took her almost an hour to finally trust me and buy 30-pins simms instead!!!!1

k.. had us confused because the topic was "The best ficticious computer terms ever!" so we assummed you meant that RIMM was a ficticious term

[Tech666]

I had a customer that came in and said" I need a 8 bit or 16bit expansion card so i can get on the internet". Not knowing if she needed a modem or memory(which is what i expected) i spent the next 20 minutes explaining to her what she was asking for.

She contiued to argue with me , while i showed her an 8 bit floppy controller , and a 16 bit sound card , trying to tell her that i wouldnt sell her something that she didnt need.

She even broke out her AST manual and SHOWED me where her computer could take an 8 bit or 16 bit expansion card..

the whole time i was nice, and finnally told her i wouldnt sell her anything unless i saw her machine...

she came back three days later after another shop sold her a "16 bit sound card" , and bellsouth still wouldnt let her on the internet and to give her what she needed...

she needed at least 8 more meg of memory , and bellsouth recommended 16 more (total of 24).

[River19]

My favorite of all time was this customer who had a ISA modem installed by us. We tested it and it worked fine. Two days later, he called us and told us that we had swindled him by selling him something that we KNEW wouldn't work in his computer. Apparently, his "computer guy" whom he pays about 30K a year, told him we sold him an AGP modem!!! I tried to convince him that his computer guy was wrong and I was right. He wouldn't hear of it and told me I was a young kid who didn't know anything about computers! With all the restraint I could muster, I simply told him to go look up what AGP stood for. If he could show me a definition of AGP that pertained to modems, I would do free computer labor for life for this guy. I have never seen him since.

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A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for...

[lgrimm]

There are several times when PEBKAC applies.

This is:Problem Exists Between Keyboard And chair!

[CREEPINGDEATH]

Originally posted by LORE:
Some times I wonder if the same customers travel from tech bench to tech bench. I have heard almost everyone of these terms. Sometimes I start to believe them! Does anyone else get there "special Customers" at our bench there are sertain customers that you see walk up and everyone fights over who will talk to them, we know that we are going to get sworn at, or told we are crooks. Why do people trust there auto Mechanics with anything, but if we charge them 30 bucks for a modem install, we are stealing the food from there childrens mouths???

The other day i got a call from a "regular" who now asks for me by name, and will hold to talk to me, rather than someone else! I do not understand this because i am very short with him and make it quite clear that he anoyees the crap out of me. He asks me which prosessors i prefer, AMD, or PENGULUMS? I prompty told him AMD, because i had never heard of the other one. He was shocked that he knew something i didn't. He continued to glote on the phone until i promptly said "although, PENTIUMS are very good too" he promptly realized what an A$$ he is and hung up. He has not called since, thank GOD!

Lore, man you always know how to make someone like me instantly feel smarter

[messiah]

maam your flux-capas. is over heated your need to go to radio shack and order a new one you need the 6 inch hemi-plasmatic model

[mdzum]

I am not sure if this is true or not, but I saw this in a manual for a flatbed scanner. When it said TWAIN device, it had "Technology Without An Interesting Name" in parenthesis beside it.

As for trying to explain user errors to the user, I have used PEBCAK (Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard). They usually don't get it.

Also, when I was in the Army, we'd send the new guy to the commo shed to retreive a can of squelch for the radio or a box of grid squares for the map. We even had the commo guy make up fake "squelch" labels for spray paint cans.

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[paraflyer]

MDZUM, I recall the same thing in the Air Force...being a comm tech, used to send the newbies to the tool romm to get an RF Tumbler; other times it I'd tell them to order "a few yards of flight line, three cans of dial tone, and a wire stretcher."