[RESOLVED] Users that make you go hmmmmm...

[senectus - kbgm]

Okay.
I'm the Sys-admin at a site with about 150 various desktops/laptops/printers/servers etc etc
Anyway as a part of my current project (Rollout of a SOE {Standard Operating Enviroment}) I have sent out and e-mail to the whole site asking people to remove any pesonal files off their local drives and onto the network like it should awlays be. As the task of going through each persons local machines looking for non NT 4.0 standard files before we format / replace their machine is too big a job for me to contemplate. In the e-mail I sent out I put bullet point examples (with a nice big easy to read header) of file they need to move (screen savers, wallpaper personal documents etc) and followed by a header thats clearly states "Files we don't want you to move" and once again bulletpoint examples of what they need to leave alone (eg Lotus notes .id file and names and address book) as we would move them.

So three days after I sent the notice out I get a phone call from my arch nemisis, a Daft-as-they-come-bottle-blonde-waste-of-oxygen called Sarah (we call her "sour"), asking for help in moving her .id / name and address book.

THEN after putting up with her unfounded bitching and moaning about how poor and slow her PC is (She's a low end "Office 97" user), an IBM 300GL 266mhz with 128 meg o ram, I finally get her a new one, a IBM NetVista 1gig 256 meg, and what does she do???
SHE COMPLAINS THAT ITS THE WRONG SIZE AND SHAPE!!!!!!!!!

GAAAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*PANT PANT*
I swear they need to rename the phrase "Going Postal" to something inline with todays Techies... like "Going Segmental" or "Packet Storming the Office"...

Well thats the end of my therapy session.. you guys got anything to add?

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Eradicating the world of id10t5 since 1974

[TheComputerKid]

From whay my dad tells me, it's all in a day's work.

But whoo, that's a good one! Wrong size and shape! I'll bet a trained monkey could do her job!!

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It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."

It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: ".... any more. Whoops."

It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your
work back."

[Hobbes]

<font face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, Geneva" size="2">Originally posted by TheComputerKid:
I'll bet a trained monkey could do her job!!</font>

Nah, you're comparing apples to oranges. You need to use an untrained monkey to be fair.

[evilcabbage]

I am also dealing with the same users as Senectus at the moment, but I have my own personal favourite..

A user has problems with 'lines' running up and down his dual monitors. No worries, I had a look, and the lines were apparent. I move the monitors (Viewsonic's.. *shudder* .. ) apart 6 inches, and all is well. The monitors had built in speakers, so thinking there could be an issue with these, I removed them. Hey presto, problem is *almost* fixed. The lines are much softer, and if the monitors sit barely 2 inches apart, they dissapear altogether.

Is this good enough for the (l)user?

No.


Another example?... a few of the mobile phones on this site have been replaced, due to failure, with a brand new model. So what happens when one member of management gets his new phone? Funnily enough, the cell phones in management are turned in that day, due to various problems.. none of which were proven.

I suppose its just thier nature, to take for granted, what they cannot understand...

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[senectus - kbgm]

Ohh Ohh I have another one..
My boss rings me saying his laptop isn't dialing in. (of course no more explanation...)
So I drop around his house and have a look.
Problem #1 : He has plugged the telephone cable into his network port, not the modem port.
Problem #2 : No dial tone.. "That's interesting" I think, and follow the cable from his laptop to back down behind the desk to where it was plugged in.
Its plugged into the modem port on his home desktop.
In a show of brilliance that is befit of senior managment he has unplugged the phone cord from the WALL and plugged it into his laptop.
Where he got his reasoning from I have no idea...


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Eradicating the world of id10t5 since 1974

[ad3p4]

<font face="Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, Geneva" size="2">Originally posted by senectus - kbgm:
...I swear they need to rename the phrase "Going Postal" to something inline with todays Techies... like "Going Segmental" or "Packet Storming the Office"...
</font>

LOL! I like the "packet storming" one! How about "Fragmenting" the user?

We've got a few of those too.

I work in a hospital. One particular user from the emergency ward came storming in one day because she wanted to file a formal complaint about her the temporary password that had been attributed to her randomly.

She foamed at the mouth, screaming in our department that her cow-irkers and herself did not need this insult.

She finally calmed down long enough to hear the line I had been repeating over and over "Password is temporary. You can change it upon your first login. They are chosen randomly."

The password was the French equivalent of "billy club" or "truncheon"

Several weeks later, she came back complaining that her password no longer worked and that this situation was in-ac-cep-ta-ble. After wiping the foam from her mouth and looking up her account in Netware, I pointed out to her that her account had NEVER BEEN USED!

We figured out she had been using someone else's account from the night shift instead of logging in her own. She mellowed out considerably after that.

Oh, by the way, this user prided herself in loudly claiming professional training in computer use

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"Expect the unexpected"
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[evilcabbage]

Another Gem from Senectus' and my own favourite internal client..

She rings our office, and another tech picks up the phone.. the conversation went as follows :

Tech: Hello?

Luser: Ive got a document binder, do you guys [insert stupid question]?
Tech: I dont know what you mean..
Luser: You know, a binder, for documents..
Tech: You mean real ones?, like paper??
Luser: well, yes...

Im buying her a labotomy for christmas

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rm -f /bin/laden

[senectus - kbgm]

The site we work on has some of the most computer illiterate people your've ever come across.
For instance:
One very sureal day I had a L-User ring me and complain that the screen saver (complete with password lock) was kicking in while he was working. I thought that this was very strange so I went over to watch him. The reason for the screen saver kicking in was that there was a 1-3 minute break between each key he was hitting.
The slowest typer I have EVER seen.


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Eradicating the world of id10t5 since 1974

[evilcabbage]

... And next on Fox 8's "Summer of Comedy", The Senectus & EvilCabbage Show...

Move over Letterman .. make way Leno..

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